I have heard nothing!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: In the Heart of Dixie
Posts: 128
I have heard nothing!!!
Well, it is a big shock to me that I have not heard a word from my 18 year old AD since Wednesday. Usually on Friday or Saturday she usually calls or comes home....she knows I get paid on Fridays but I guess she is so wrapped up in meth right now that she is staying away. I don't know how I feel about this right now. I am trying to figure out what to do about gifts for her, I am not gonna give her cash and I know if I buy clothes they will either be lost or who knows who will wear them or if I leave the tags on them she could return them for the cash and I work too hard for my money for her to do that but what do I do??? My mother and grandmother are asking me what should they do and I just need some suggestions on how to handle this part of it!! I am still just shaking my head that this is the 3rd Christmas that I have had to deal with this!! I guess I think that one day soon the struggle will be over and maybe she will see what she is doing to herself and me but I honestly don't know if Lauren will stop this. She seems confused but for some reason likes that way of life and I don't know why!!!!I was at work yesterday and just thought, I spend $3000 on braces and right now her teeth seem ok but I can't stand the thought of them rotting out but she knows the dangers and just keeps going right down the same road!! I have accepted the fact that I cant stop her but still it hurts like hell to think she has chose those people over her family and old friends!!
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
I remember that. I spent some hard earned money on my daughter's braces, too... and then I went and read that danged "faces of meth" article and realized that one of the things meth users lose... is their teeth.
Maybe I focused on the teeth back then because I couldn't stand to look at the rest of it... the real fear was that I might lose ...her.
It isn't your daughter making these choices... it is her addiction.
If you can get the courts involved (if she is a minor), then do so. Talk to the local prosecutors office to see if they have any programs on the books. Getting her to rehab - even if she isn't ready - getting her their gives her body and brain a bit of a break from the drug. I remember thinking that was the least I could do.
If you can't get her to rehab, then you might consider something a drug counselor told me once ...
Why would a drug addict who gets a warm bed, a hot meal, a roof over her head, a TV, a phone AND her drug of choice... WHY would she even consider getting sober?
My kid got sober when she had enough reasons to do so. We had to kick her out at 17, and it was awful for a while. But she was spoiled - she LIKED a warm bed and a hot meal. So when she asked to come back - we said, "Sure! Just as soon as you complete a 30-day rehab". I didn't worry about the money because I didn't expect her to do it. What I found was there are beds saved in some rehabs for those on the state medical program.
My kid went to recovery house and to her fourth rehab on the state dime... but they would never have paid if WE hadn't kicked her out! Because by being "on her own" - she was eligible financially.
In my face to face meetings, they remind me to pray... a lot. I think it helps.
I wish you the best.
Maybe I focused on the teeth back then because I couldn't stand to look at the rest of it... the real fear was that I might lose ...her.
It isn't your daughter making these choices... it is her addiction.
If you can get the courts involved (if she is a minor), then do so. Talk to the local prosecutors office to see if they have any programs on the books. Getting her to rehab - even if she isn't ready - getting her their gives her body and brain a bit of a break from the drug. I remember thinking that was the least I could do.
If you can't get her to rehab, then you might consider something a drug counselor told me once ...
Why would a drug addict who gets a warm bed, a hot meal, a roof over her head, a TV, a phone AND her drug of choice... WHY would she even consider getting sober?
My kid got sober when she had enough reasons to do so. We had to kick her out at 17, and it was awful for a while. But she was spoiled - she LIKED a warm bed and a hot meal. So when she asked to come back - we said, "Sure! Just as soon as you complete a 30-day rehab". I didn't worry about the money because I didn't expect her to do it. What I found was there are beds saved in some rehabs for those on the state medical program.
My kid went to recovery house and to her fourth rehab on the state dime... but they would never have paid if WE hadn't kicked her out! Because by being "on her own" - she was eligible financially.
In my face to face meetings, they remind me to pray... a lot. I think it helps.
I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
It took me a long time to accept the fact that it is what it is. Right now my AD is staying at the abf's mother's apartment because the mother just had surgery to open up clogged artieries in her neck. The abf's mom accepts their addiction and enables like crazy so my daughter sees her a lot more frequently than she sees me. But I won't put up with the chaos of addiction. So it is what it is and I have to accept for now my daughter is right where she needs to be. (It does drive one crazy to think of the sacrifices that we have made and now they just p*ss their health away.) I feel though that if my daughter makes it out of her addiction, she will make it out a better person. She is learning some valuable lessons. Hugs and prayers for you and Lauren. Marle
Drug Addiction Has No Mercy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Milwaukie Oregon
Posts: 875
Methamphetamine is a powerful central nervous system stimulant.
The drug works directly on the brain and spinal cord by interfering with normal neurotransmission. Neurotransmitters are chemical substances naturally produced within nerve cells used to communicate with each other and send messages to influence and regulate our thinking and all other systems throughout the body.
The main neurotransmitter affected by methamphetamine is dopamine. Dopamine is involved with our natural reward system. For example, feeling good about a job well done, getting pleasure from our family or social interactions, feeling content and that our lives are meaningful and count for something, all rely on dopamine transmission.
All addictive drugs have two things in common: they produce an initial pleasurable effect, followed by a rebound unpleasant effect. Methamphetamine, through its stimulant effects, produces a positive feeling, but later leaves a person feeling depressed. This is because it suppresses the normal production of dopamine, creating a chemical imbalance. The user physically demands more of the drug to return to normal. This pleasure/tension cycle leads to loss of control over the drug and addiction.
Methamphetamine short-circuits a person's survival system by artificially stimulating the reward center, or pleasure areas in the brain. This leads to increased confidence in meth and less confidence in the normal rewards of life. This happens on a physical level at first, then it affects the user psychologically. The result is decreased interest in other aspects of life while reliance and interest in meth increases. In one study, laboratory animals pressed levers to release methamphetamine into their blood stream rather than eat, mate, or satisfy other natural drives. The animals died of starvation while giving themselves methamphetamine even though food was available.
Her brain has been hijacked by a drug ... She is an addict and she is doing what addicts do ... Please try not to take her behavior personal ... Even if it is directed at you .. it IS NOT ABOUT YOU ... she hasn't chosen those people over her family .. she has bitten off more than she can chew when she chose to use drugs .. and those people come with the territory ... They are a part of her lifestyle ... Just like recovering addicts will be when and if she hits bottom and arrives at getting clean ...
****{Hugs for you and prayers for you both}}}
Passion
The drug works directly on the brain and spinal cord by interfering with normal neurotransmission. Neurotransmitters are chemical substances naturally produced within nerve cells used to communicate with each other and send messages to influence and regulate our thinking and all other systems throughout the body.
The main neurotransmitter affected by methamphetamine is dopamine. Dopamine is involved with our natural reward system. For example, feeling good about a job well done, getting pleasure from our family or social interactions, feeling content and that our lives are meaningful and count for something, all rely on dopamine transmission.
All addictive drugs have two things in common: they produce an initial pleasurable effect, followed by a rebound unpleasant effect. Methamphetamine, through its stimulant effects, produces a positive feeling, but later leaves a person feeling depressed. This is because it suppresses the normal production of dopamine, creating a chemical imbalance. The user physically demands more of the drug to return to normal. This pleasure/tension cycle leads to loss of control over the drug and addiction.
Methamphetamine short-circuits a person's survival system by artificially stimulating the reward center, or pleasure areas in the brain. This leads to increased confidence in meth and less confidence in the normal rewards of life. This happens on a physical level at first, then it affects the user psychologically. The result is decreased interest in other aspects of life while reliance and interest in meth increases. In one study, laboratory animals pressed levers to release methamphetamine into their blood stream rather than eat, mate, or satisfy other natural drives. The animals died of starvation while giving themselves methamphetamine even though food was available.
Her brain has been hijacked by a drug ... She is an addict and she is doing what addicts do ... Please try not to take her behavior personal ... Even if it is directed at you .. it IS NOT ABOUT YOU ... she hasn't chosen those people over her family .. she has bitten off more than she can chew when she chose to use drugs .. and those people come with the territory ... They are a part of her lifestyle ... Just like recovering addicts will be when and if she hits bottom and arrives at getting clean ...
****{Hugs for you and prayers for you both}}}
Passion
Drug Addiction Has No Mercy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Milwaukie Oregon
Posts: 875
Print this out and give it to her .. it is UNEDITED NAKED HARD COLD REALITY written by a recovering meth addict .. her Forum Name is Forgetsuzette .. she tells it just like it is. I, myself am a recovering addict and I cosign it.
I chose to leave Suzettes writing just as it is ...there is some cussing in it .. I am leaving it in pure form.
I MUST WARN YOU IT IS RAW TRUTH with no candy coating
This is your job as "disciple of meth"
you will be a missionary touring poverty, death,bending decaying minds, rotting, insanity, violence, perversions beyond your power to understand, that will steal your soul away and leave you as hollow inside as a meth mobile, just a brainless bottom feeder going around yearning, needing, desiring METH baybee!
running on meth, and stopping, spuddering and choking, dying...with out it.
You will spend all your time wanting, and hoping to get METH.
....You won't get a home,it's cool, it's not important,
neither are relationships, dreams, education, career, relaxing, dopamine, nothing else will be within your reach.
......besides meth!....and getting some more!
as long as you got meth, that's all you gotta worry about.
What your personal limitations are will decide how willing you are to get METH!
REMEMBER you get METH ONLY!!! NOTHING ELSE!
You will get plenty of it, so HAVE FUN!
....go fast!
Do one for me!
......crunch into a shard for me!.. yummy! you shake, freeze up, get a whiskey face, and shiver all over to the tips of your nipples, and clench your teeth and jaw.
I fkn LOVED speed so much.
............It was the LOVE of my LIFE!
........I LOVED the taste of it!
I've fkn eaten it off floors!
....bathroom floors!
I usta eat it, snort it and smoke it!
........a couple of times... when my connection changed batches, sometimes it was stronger than I thought,
I ate too much, and had to puke,
...... VOMITED in a cup, saved it, and drank it later!
you can't say I'm not loyal to my drug.
...I loved it, and i did anything for it,
I did'nt fk for it, and I considered it very carefully, over quitting. ....but I chose my soul. (all I got left)
....believe me I sold EVERYTHING else...or LOST it!
I hocked, pawned, sold, stole, lied, borrowed, begged, bartered, got fronts ....
LAID down my WHOLE LIFE!
to honor it.
I gave it my all.
.............and it never did anything for me, but make me ********.
....I can't even use the experience to keep you from being another victim of a dirty trick.
........just so you know.
you can't beat the clock.
"Look out you rock n' rollers!
........pretty soon now you gonna get older!"
-----bowie
I'm not telling you to quit!
.....be the best drug addict you can be! see rock bottom!
I'm just saying with out trying to sway you in either direction.
you can have ANYTHING YOU WANT.
...just not EVERYTHING.
you must choose what you will spend you time on in this life.....and you only have so much available time.
it's like a perk you get for being ********, you get this
overwhelming feeling of well being that breaks when the speed runs out.
obviously when the spell is lifted and you are on a dung heap..
.....you go back to the dealer and turn your dung heap to gold again.
you think it spins straw into gold.
....but then, it's only you, who could see the straw was gold when it's all over.
.....and it never was.
The sad thing is how much you LOVE it.
....it's your best friend, it cures loneliness, gives you strenghth and confidence, viverent energy, ideas, and beauty at first.
you love it, and it loves you and you will always have crystal to hold you when things get bad.
I remember thinking flat out, I'll go see my best friend.
and while you are loving it, it is robbing you.
.....it takes all your money, strength, natural ability to feel joy, you, what you stand for, and believe in to your core...
...you throw it all away and put all your faith in whats good and true to YOU.
like following Manson...
"Charlie is Jesus" ....yeah right.
...but its deep. even Charles mansion's momma still thinks he was framed.
....we defend, protect, cover, and are extremely loyal.
we jumps thru hoops like trick poodles and smile back at it
....it says...
you gotta do more.
it's the most hardcore brainwashing, scam, lie, hoax, slap in the face betrayal there is.
we stay with it for YEARS.
....we build our life around it.
we love it, we're married to it.
it's like we are in this group that was screwed over by the same con artist.
...and the mothers whose children fell into a cult.
like Jim Jones.
it whispers the same promise in all of our ears and falls short.
it gives us an edge on the world.
....but soon the entire universe has the edge on you.
and speed laughs in your face and says...
you poor fool.
I feel like my best friend threw me out of the car I picked it up in.
.....and I just woke up beaten, and alone on the highway
PLEASE STOP!...it's a trap!
........I'm fking screaming this to you from hell!
Every single time you do speed, you are paying for it in natural well being.
I wanna die
...I wish it killed me.
one more run for me? I might get the guts to pull that trigger.
you are ruining your life, I did it already.
.....please don't do it too.
....If you're there, you aren't here.
when you get here, you'll see what I mean and it'll be to late.
when you've seen the things meth has to show you.
....you won't belong in the "normal" world.
then come see me.
The thrilling ride you are on....
....we took it too!
...but it's dark, and you are unable to see what's really happining,to you.
you are in a bucket on the way to a hell, you can't imagine.
....you will lose everything you ever cared about,
you'll become self absorbed, greedy and secretive,psychotic,paranoid, scattered, sketchy, obsessive-compulsive, repetitive behavior, it will captivate you and blind you while....
.............the new personality bores a place in your brain and starts to rot it out...
how far you decide to fall will determine the extent of your damage.
......if you stop now,
(and we know you won't,.... and furthermore we'll know the outcome before you ever guess what hit you)
when you finally are unable to support your habit, you'll be faced with selling your soul or not.
...you'll either have sex for it.
or quit.
you'll never be right again...you ability to recieve pleasure naturally, your ability to feel joy....will be
lessened.
it gets your dopamine.
....the demon eats it all, and lives in your head instead.
........the demon will never go away.
I have a bad demon tied to a chair in the rotten part of my brain that stays forever.
that demon, is greedy, self absorbed, sketchy, unable to hold a job.
none of those things are me.
this drug is like a lover you are completely in love with,
deeply and you believe it loves you.
it will betray you...
while the important people in your life beg you to leave,
you can't see how bad he's fking you.
it lies, it steals, it makes your loved ones stand by helplessly as they watch you rot to death and go insane.
METH DESTROYED OUR ABILITY TO ENJOY LIFE AT REGULAR SPEED.
WE DON'T FEEL GOOD WHEN WE DO IT ANYMORE!
WE DON'T FEEL GOOD WHEN WE DON'T!
WE MISSED SO MANY EVENTS OF OUR LIVES AND LET A TWEAKER
REPRESENT US! ....SOON PSYCHOTIC TWEAKER!
IT WILL HAPPEN!
METH DOES'NT LOVE YOU ANYMORE THAN IT LOVED US!
IT LIED! IT SAID IT LOVED US TOO!
IT WAS MY BEST FRIEND ...and now I look like I lost my best friend.
WE ARE SCREWED!
YOU BETTER HOPE WE GET IT TOGETHER AND FORM A VETERINE'S DRUG ADDICT FUND, OR YOU'LL BE BROKE AND WILL HAVE NOT BEEN PRESENT IN YOUR OWN LIFE WHEN YOUR YOUTH BLURS BY YOU,
AND YOU BODY STARTS BREAKING
I chose to leave Suzettes writing just as it is ...there is some cussing in it .. I am leaving it in pure form.
I MUST WARN YOU IT IS RAW TRUTH with no candy coating
~ YOU HAVE CHOOSEN METH ~
This is your job as "disciple of meth"
you will be a missionary touring poverty, death,bending decaying minds, rotting, insanity, violence, perversions beyond your power to understand, that will steal your soul away and leave you as hollow inside as a meth mobile, just a brainless bottom feeder going around yearning, needing, desiring METH baybee!
running on meth, and stopping, spuddering and choking, dying...with out it.
You will spend all your time wanting, and hoping to get METH.
....You won't get a home,it's cool, it's not important,
neither are relationships, dreams, education, career, relaxing, dopamine, nothing else will be within your reach.
......besides meth!....and getting some more!
as long as you got meth, that's all you gotta worry about.
What your personal limitations are will decide how willing you are to get METH!
REMEMBER you get METH ONLY!!! NOTHING ELSE!
You will get plenty of it, so HAVE FUN!
....go fast!
Do one for me!
......crunch into a shard for me!.. yummy! you shake, freeze up, get a whiskey face, and shiver all over to the tips of your nipples, and clench your teeth and jaw.
I fkn LOVED speed so much.
............It was the LOVE of my LIFE!
........I LOVED the taste of it!
I've fkn eaten it off floors!
....bathroom floors!
I usta eat it, snort it and smoke it!
........a couple of times... when my connection changed batches, sometimes it was stronger than I thought,
I ate too much, and had to puke,
...... VOMITED in a cup, saved it, and drank it later!
you can't say I'm not loyal to my drug.
...I loved it, and i did anything for it,
I did'nt fk for it, and I considered it very carefully, over quitting. ....but I chose my soul. (all I got left)
....believe me I sold EVERYTHING else...or LOST it!
I hocked, pawned, sold, stole, lied, borrowed, begged, bartered, got fronts ....
LAID down my WHOLE LIFE!
to honor it.
I gave it my all.
.............and it never did anything for me, but make me ********.
....I can't even use the experience to keep you from being another victim of a dirty trick.
........just so you know.
you can't beat the clock.
"Look out you rock n' rollers!
........pretty soon now you gonna get older!"
-----bowie
I'm not telling you to quit!
.....be the best drug addict you can be! see rock bottom!
I'm just saying with out trying to sway you in either direction.
you can have ANYTHING YOU WANT.
...just not EVERYTHING.
you must choose what you will spend you time on in this life.....and you only have so much available time.
it's like a perk you get for being ********, you get this
overwhelming feeling of well being that breaks when the speed runs out.
obviously when the spell is lifted and you are on a dung heap..
.....you go back to the dealer and turn your dung heap to gold again.
you think it spins straw into gold.
....but then, it's only you, who could see the straw was gold when it's all over.
.....and it never was.
The sad thing is how much you LOVE it.
....it's your best friend, it cures loneliness, gives you strenghth and confidence, viverent energy, ideas, and beauty at first.
you love it, and it loves you and you will always have crystal to hold you when things get bad.
I remember thinking flat out, I'll go see my best friend.
and while you are loving it, it is robbing you.
.....it takes all your money, strength, natural ability to feel joy, you, what you stand for, and believe in to your core...
...you throw it all away and put all your faith in whats good and true to YOU.
like following Manson...
"Charlie is Jesus" ....yeah right.
...but its deep. even Charles mansion's momma still thinks he was framed.
....we defend, protect, cover, and are extremely loyal.
we jumps thru hoops like trick poodles and smile back at it
....it says...
you gotta do more.
it's the most hardcore brainwashing, scam, lie, hoax, slap in the face betrayal there is.
we stay with it for YEARS.
....we build our life around it.
we love it, we're married to it.
it's like we are in this group that was screwed over by the same con artist.
...and the mothers whose children fell into a cult.
like Jim Jones.
it whispers the same promise in all of our ears and falls short.
it gives us an edge on the world.
....but soon the entire universe has the edge on you.
and speed laughs in your face and says...
you poor fool.
I feel like my best friend threw me out of the car I picked it up in.
.....and I just woke up beaten, and alone on the highway
PLEASE STOP!...it's a trap!
........I'm fking screaming this to you from hell!
Every single time you do speed, you are paying for it in natural well being.
I wanna die
...I wish it killed me.
one more run for me? I might get the guts to pull that trigger.
you are ruining your life, I did it already.
.....please don't do it too.
....If you're there, you aren't here.
when you get here, you'll see what I mean and it'll be to late.
when you've seen the things meth has to show you.
....you won't belong in the "normal" world.
then come see me.
The thrilling ride you are on....
....we took it too!
...but it's dark, and you are unable to see what's really happining,to you.
you are in a bucket on the way to a hell, you can't imagine.
....you will lose everything you ever cared about,
you'll become self absorbed, greedy and secretive,psychotic,paranoid, scattered, sketchy, obsessive-compulsive, repetitive behavior, it will captivate you and blind you while....
.............the new personality bores a place in your brain and starts to rot it out...
how far you decide to fall will determine the extent of your damage.
......if you stop now,
(and we know you won't,.... and furthermore we'll know the outcome before you ever guess what hit you)
when you finally are unable to support your habit, you'll be faced with selling your soul or not.
...you'll either have sex for it.
or quit.
you'll never be right again...you ability to recieve pleasure naturally, your ability to feel joy....will be
lessened.
it gets your dopamine.
....the demon eats it all, and lives in your head instead.
........the demon will never go away.
I have a bad demon tied to a chair in the rotten part of my brain that stays forever.
that demon, is greedy, self absorbed, sketchy, unable to hold a job.
none of those things are me.
this drug is like a lover you are completely in love with,
deeply and you believe it loves you.
it will betray you...
while the important people in your life beg you to leave,
you can't see how bad he's fking you.
it lies, it steals, it makes your loved ones stand by helplessly as they watch you rot to death and go insane.
METH DESTROYED OUR ABILITY TO ENJOY LIFE AT REGULAR SPEED.
WE DON'T FEEL GOOD WHEN WE DO IT ANYMORE!
WE DON'T FEEL GOOD WHEN WE DON'T!
WE MISSED SO MANY EVENTS OF OUR LIVES AND LET A TWEAKER
REPRESENT US! ....SOON PSYCHOTIC TWEAKER!
IT WILL HAPPEN!
METH DOES'NT LOVE YOU ANYMORE THAN IT LOVED US!
IT LIED! IT SAID IT LOVED US TOO!
IT WAS MY BEST FRIEND ...and now I look like I lost my best friend.
WE ARE SCREWED!
YOU BETTER HOPE WE GET IT TOGETHER AND FORM A VETERINE'S DRUG ADDICT FUND, OR YOU'LL BE BROKE AND WILL HAVE NOT BEEN PRESENT IN YOUR OWN LIFE WHEN YOUR YOUTH BLURS BY YOU,
AND YOU BODY STARTS BREAKING
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
((((((((Obsessed)))))))))
You recieved loving, but honest feedback from the posters before me.
It's sad, but true. Don't take what she is doing personally. It's not about you or because of you. Addiction has her in it's grip and the only way out is for her to hit rock bottom. When the pain has become so great that the only relief is recovery, then she'll seek help.
What can you do? Focus on yourself and learn detachment. She's 18. Legally an adult. If she wants to stay out, she's gonna stay out.
My son left home when he was 18. I didn't know at the time that he was using hard drugs. I'd known that he has smoked pot before. Heck he was a regular with the pot. I just didn't know it.
Going to raves, bouncing from one job to another. Finally, I asked his gf if he was on drugs. She told me to check his forearms. My life flashed before my eyes. I blamed myself. Alot.
Then I came to soberrecovery and I learned the 3 C's and "What Addicts Do"
first.
1. I didn't cause it.
2. I can't control it.
3. I can't cure it.
Read the stickies at the top of the forum page. Also read everything that Nytepassion has written. Wanna know about addiction? She knows it. Front and back. She also knows recovery. Go, Nyte. I love ya, girl.
Melodie Beattie has some wonderful books on codependency that would greatly benefit you, as well.
Keep coming back to sr and pray. Alot.
My son got clean from heroin after I pressed charges against him for robbing my home. He spent 6 months in jail. He's been clean of it for 2 years.
He's on medication and sees a psychiatrist and counselor 3 times a month.
I'm praying your daughter finds her way to recovery.
I'm praying you find strength and perseverance. She's gonna need you to be strong for her later on, down the road, when she's ready for sobriety.
Hugs,
You recieved loving, but honest feedback from the posters before me.
It's sad, but true. Don't take what she is doing personally. It's not about you or because of you. Addiction has her in it's grip and the only way out is for her to hit rock bottom. When the pain has become so great that the only relief is recovery, then she'll seek help.
What can you do? Focus on yourself and learn detachment. She's 18. Legally an adult. If she wants to stay out, she's gonna stay out.
My son left home when he was 18. I didn't know at the time that he was using hard drugs. I'd known that he has smoked pot before. Heck he was a regular with the pot. I just didn't know it.
Going to raves, bouncing from one job to another. Finally, I asked his gf if he was on drugs. She told me to check his forearms. My life flashed before my eyes. I blamed myself. Alot.
Then I came to soberrecovery and I learned the 3 C's and "What Addicts Do"
first.
1. I didn't cause it.
2. I can't control it.
3. I can't cure it.
Read the stickies at the top of the forum page. Also read everything that Nytepassion has written. Wanna know about addiction? She knows it. Front and back. She also knows recovery. Go, Nyte. I love ya, girl.
Melodie Beattie has some wonderful books on codependency that would greatly benefit you, as well.
Keep coming back to sr and pray. Alot.
My son got clean from heroin after I pressed charges against him for robbing my home. He spent 6 months in jail. He's been clean of it for 2 years.
He's on medication and sees a psychiatrist and counselor 3 times a month.
I'm praying your daughter finds her way to recovery.
I'm praying you find strength and perseverance. She's gonna need you to be strong for her later on, down the road, when she's ready for sobriety.
Hugs,
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
Yes, I agree with everybody else about this "choice" thing. The choice only comes after we are clean and in recovery.
It's funny about those braces. It's funny how we moms all think alike! My daughter was told she could benefit from braces when she was 11 or 12. I agonized over whether or not to spend the money. Her teeth looked gorgeous to me and the orthodontist finally admitted she would not be in any functional danger if she did not get them. Fastforward about 5 years. she is a crack addict on the street who survives on little debbie cakes and doesn't own a toothbrush anymore. Don't you know I thought to myself, "Boy, I'm glad I didn't spend all that money on those braces!"
But I also read something (I think I did) between the lines here. You didn't hear from her when she would usually have called. For me, that beast of fear and anxiety would be pinching me, and I'd be trying to ignore it. Hope you are telling yourself positive things - since mine always seems to turn up and then **** me off instead of worry me.
Christmas gifts - I bought things that were inexpensive (earings from Claire's boutique, for example)and all from different stores, and removed all the tags so that, a) she won't easily return them and b) she may not even know what store they are from to try to return them, and c) since they are inexpensive she would get next to nothing on the street and very likely would not bother to sell or return (since turning a trick or a lap dance pays so much better). I got candy bars I know she likes, some little bottles of lotions and stuff, some very warm socks... stuff like that for a stocking.
It's funny about those braces. It's funny how we moms all think alike! My daughter was told she could benefit from braces when she was 11 or 12. I agonized over whether or not to spend the money. Her teeth looked gorgeous to me and the orthodontist finally admitted she would not be in any functional danger if she did not get them. Fastforward about 5 years. she is a crack addict on the street who survives on little debbie cakes and doesn't own a toothbrush anymore. Don't you know I thought to myself, "Boy, I'm glad I didn't spend all that money on those braces!"
But I also read something (I think I did) between the lines here. You didn't hear from her when she would usually have called. For me, that beast of fear and anxiety would be pinching me, and I'd be trying to ignore it. Hope you are telling yourself positive things - since mine always seems to turn up and then **** me off instead of worry me.
Christmas gifts - I bought things that were inexpensive (earings from Claire's boutique, for example)and all from different stores, and removed all the tags so that, a) she won't easily return them and b) she may not even know what store they are from to try to return them, and c) since they are inexpensive she would get next to nothing on the street and very likely would not bother to sell or return (since turning a trick or a lap dance pays so much better). I got candy bars I know she likes, some little bottles of lotions and stuff, some very warm socks... stuff like that for a stocking.
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