My Life In Dates
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Join Date: Dec 2007
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My Life In Dates
December 8th, 2007 - 2:00am
Well i have been sitting in this chair, at my computer desk since 8:00pm popping librium hoping for once that it well actual make a difference, make me feel normal, make me feel happy. but no all it ******* does is make me feel like ****, i just got out the hospital two days ago, after being picked up by the cops, after my mom called them after calling here, saying i want to die, figures mothers know best eh, well after spending the night there in a fold out chair which was ******* horrible, feeling like i was losing my mind, on the verge of a mental breakdown, and all the nurses could do was keep giving me adovan, starving each anxiety attack for abit, and yet the next morning i tell the doctor what i am going throught, and what do i get a ******* discharge, what a ******* health system we get, on the verge of killing myself which i did try in a hotel room before cops picked me up by mixing pills and liquor, which almost did suceed, waking up choking on my own vomit, haha how the **** did i pull that one off, and yet after telling the doctor this he still ******* discharges me, thought when i was picked up at hospital by my mom and was taking to my doctor in my hometown, he is forcing me to go into detox or what ever it is called for a week, which i am not feeling to good about, locked up with a bunch of people who fried there brains doing drugs is not my kind of party, but who knows maybe it well be for the best of me maybe they can figure out whats wrong with me, after years of depression and severe anxiety, i guess my whole life depends on the decisions i make in the next week a do or die situation, we shall see the outcam, its funny when i was 16-17 helping these two girls throught depression and yet i thought nothing of it at the time, and when the time comes to turn to my freinds iv know for my whole life what do i get back stabed, and the two girls i helped who i barely know now are the ones sticking by my side funny how things turn like that isn't it, life long freinds, and especially for the one who put me throught the car accident and ****** me up you would think he would help a friend out, but no i guess you realize some stuff in life, the only people in my life that are there for me is my family and the two girls thanks a bunch guys means alot, maybe someday il see past these harsh times which have no light at the end of the tunnel for the moment, well i am going to go watch a movie or something, to another day
December 14th, 2007 - 9:55
well it's been a week or six days what ever you like to call it, i am in detox feeling better, and sometimes, ******, but overtime it well change, and i say sorry for judjing people in my past no matter how ****** up they are, heroin, skitzo, theres someone underneath that, i never realized until today that i thought this way, how could i judge them like that, in detox i have met some pretty nice people being heroin, or what ever they wanted to recover just like me, and are trying there hardest which just gives me more hope on moving forward, i am on a weekend pass right now from detox and well be going back in monday, so hopefully we well see if that makes more of a differnce, and now finnally i do see a light at the end of the tunnel after years of feeling like **** i feel like a new day has started and i feel better then ever, i feel like there finally is hope
Well i have been sitting in this chair, at my computer desk since 8:00pm popping librium hoping for once that it well actual make a difference, make me feel normal, make me feel happy. but no all it ******* does is make me feel like ****, i just got out the hospital two days ago, after being picked up by the cops, after my mom called them after calling here, saying i want to die, figures mothers know best eh, well after spending the night there in a fold out chair which was ******* horrible, feeling like i was losing my mind, on the verge of a mental breakdown, and all the nurses could do was keep giving me adovan, starving each anxiety attack for abit, and yet the next morning i tell the doctor what i am going throught, and what do i get a ******* discharge, what a ******* health system we get, on the verge of killing myself which i did try in a hotel room before cops picked me up by mixing pills and liquor, which almost did suceed, waking up choking on my own vomit, haha how the **** did i pull that one off, and yet after telling the doctor this he still ******* discharges me, thought when i was picked up at hospital by my mom and was taking to my doctor in my hometown, he is forcing me to go into detox or what ever it is called for a week, which i am not feeling to good about, locked up with a bunch of people who fried there brains doing drugs is not my kind of party, but who knows maybe it well be for the best of me maybe they can figure out whats wrong with me, after years of depression and severe anxiety, i guess my whole life depends on the decisions i make in the next week a do or die situation, we shall see the outcam, its funny when i was 16-17 helping these two girls throught depression and yet i thought nothing of it at the time, and when the time comes to turn to my freinds iv know for my whole life what do i get back stabed, and the two girls i helped who i barely know now are the ones sticking by my side funny how things turn like that isn't it, life long freinds, and especially for the one who put me throught the car accident and ****** me up you would think he would help a friend out, but no i guess you realize some stuff in life, the only people in my life that are there for me is my family and the two girls thanks a bunch guys means alot, maybe someday il see past these harsh times which have no light at the end of the tunnel for the moment, well i am going to go watch a movie or something, to another day
December 14th, 2007 - 9:55
well it's been a week or six days what ever you like to call it, i am in detox feeling better, and sometimes, ******, but overtime it well change, and i say sorry for judjing people in my past no matter how ****** up they are, heroin, skitzo, theres someone underneath that, i never realized until today that i thought this way, how could i judge them like that, in detox i have met some pretty nice people being heroin, or what ever they wanted to recover just like me, and are trying there hardest which just gives me more hope on moving forward, i am on a weekend pass right now from detox and well be going back in monday, so hopefully we well see if that makes more of a differnce, and now finnally i do see a light at the end of the tunnel after years of feeling like **** i feel like a new day has started and i feel better then ever, i feel like there finally is hope
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