Superwoman and Superman

"People ought to listen more slowly." Jean Sparks Ducey

By now we probably fell we're ready to take on the whole world. Like converts, we want to gather up all of those who have experienced the same problems we have, bring them into the fold, and heal them. We fancy ourselves like the Good Shephard, rescuing the little lamb who has strayed from the fold. We're suffused with love for our fellow-sufferers, and feel that if they'd only talk with us for a while, we could convince them that we have the solution for their problems.

Poor Pitiful Pearl has metamorphosed into Superwoman: and Poor Pitiful Paul has become Superman. And they're proud of their new identies, as well the should be.

We're ready to explain in detail just exactly how we succeeded in losing the obsession that bound us in its grip for such a long time. We could talk for hours about our struggles and our ultimate victory. We're sure that if our identified prospects will just follow our dictates to the letter, they too will recover.

However, noble as these sentiments are, they need to be carefully evaluated. We need to remember very clearly how we, ourselves, felt when the program was first presented to us.

Today's step: My enthusiasm for spreading the word is balanced by my sensitivity to others.

Wisdom

"The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

It is slowly dawning on us that the preceding Eleven Steps are part of an ongoing process. We realize that just because we've been through them once doesn't mean we can pack them away in mothballs. Step Twelve clearly demonstrates that we could not have arrived at our present stae of balance were it not for Steps One through Eleven. It also tells us that, in preparing to undertake the threefold message of this step, we're commiting ourselves to a way of life that is a complete departure from the attitudes and behavior of our addictive lifestyle.

As problems continue to arise in our everyday life, we're able to take each one of them in turn, and work through the entire Twelve Steps with them. We can do this with skewered relationships, with money, and employment problems, with emotional hang-ups and with any other situation that may be causing us confusion and discomfort.

Remember the old Latin adage: "Repetition is the mother of wisdom"? It is by repeatedly applying the steps in all our affairs that we reap the benefits of our new way of life. We also need to remember H.O.W.---Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness---that we learned in our early days of recovery. The power of this advice will become increasingly obvious as we enjoy the fruits of our labors.

Today's Step: I continue to practice the principles of this program in all my affairs.

Dave's Story

"Back of every achievement is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law." Brooks Hays

Despite what some people have reported, spiritual awakenings don't tend to be all that dramatic. A typical one was shared by Dave.

"I didn't see fireworks in the sky, or feel I was in the presence of some celestial being," Dave recalled. "I certainely couldn't identify with anything as airy-fairy as blinding flashes of light, or some of the other phenomena some people were talking about.

"It was simply that one day I realized my attitude and sense of value had undergone an enormous change. My identity was no longer reflected by the clothes I wore, nor the car I drove, nor the house I lived in, nor my yearly income.

"My family and friends began to take on much more importance to me than all those things that we usually equate to success. That didn't mean I was ready to chuck my position and take up farming so I could lead a more simple life. What it did mean was that issues of money, property, and prestige were no longer my begin-all and end-all goals.

"As far as I'm concerned," said Dave contentedly, "you couldn't ask for a better spiritual awakening than that!"

Today's Step: My day-to-day recovery is evidence f a spiritual awakening.

Highway to freedom

"One of the greatest pleasures in life is doing what people say you can't do. Anonymous

We had been caught up for so long in turmoil and confusion that we saw no alternatives to any other way of life. We despaired of ever understanding ourselves or of being understood by others. But the program offered us a highway to freedom.

Now our perspective has changed. Having examined and admitted our shortcomings and defects, we went about the business of making amends to those we had harmed. This done, we were able to reorganize our lives into a new healthy and oprimistic pattern. We excised the skeletons in our closet with the Eigth and Ninth Steps. We learned the power of prayer, and practiced---to the best of our ability---a form of meditation that allowed us to maintain a reasonable balance in our lives. We learned that by releasing self-will and accepting the concept of a power greater than ourselves, our lives were proceeding in a much hmore satisfactory manner than ever before.

As we look back on our journey to the Twelfth Step, we realize we have been through a spiritual awakening. We have stepped out of a bad dream into a safe and sane world.

Today's Step: My spiritual awakening is the result of working the previous steps.

Everyday Spirituality

"Your goals don't start in your brain, they start in your heart." Anonymous.

Spirituality is all-encompassing. It's as much the ability to accept love as it is the capacity for loving. It's the sensation of having connected with another person on a meaningful level. It's the willingness to share of ourselves when we feel that someone else will benefit from that sharing. It's giving and forgetting the gift. It's being true because we've earned the trust of others.

Spirituality is a lack of self-pity---the willingnss to release self-will. It's accepting who we are, knowing that we're becoming whom we hope to be. It's doing our very best and leaving the results in the ahnds of a power greater than ourselves. It's meeting challenges and not fearing failure.

The more we think about the deeper meaning of our path as we arrive at Step Twelve, the more we realize that we've just skimmed the surface of the meaning of spirituality in our lives. Perhaps it means that all the power in the universe is working to maintain health and balance in our lives; that we can now accept the past and not dwell in the future, and that we've developed the ability to keep ourselves in the heree and now.

Today's Step: I am able to practice the spiritual principles I have learned in all my affairs.

The Rose

"Life is not a cup to be drained, but a measure to be filled." anonymous

In The Game of Tennis, author Timothy Galway offers a comforting analogy to help us through the feeling that our spiritual awakening isn't as deep or profound as we would have hoped---now that we've reached the Twelfth Step.

When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small, but we don't criticize if as rootless and stemless. We treat is as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment it requires. When it first shoots up out of the earth, we don't condemn it as immature and underdeveloped; nor do we criticize the buds for not being open. We stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of its development. The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed until it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change; yet at each stage, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is.

So it is with us. We're perfectly all right as we are. As we grow, we're deepening our sense of spirituality and our capacity to share with those in earlier stages. This helps our continuing search for even greater commitment and stability.

Today's Step: I rejoice in my spiritual growth from the earliest seeds of my recovery.

Spirituality

"No one gets lost on a straight path." anonymous

While spirituality can be fueled by religion, it can also exist without it. It is important to know that we perform many spiritual actions every day of our lives. It is not necessary for us to get down on our knees to be spiritual. Spirituality is as ordinary a condition as it is esoteric.

Many people have said they feel a lot more spiritual looking at a newborn baby than by listening to a sermon.

Each time we do something unselfish, that's spiritual. When we make amends to those we have offended or harmed, that's spiritual. When we meditate, seeking knowledge of God's will for us, that's spiritual. When we speak well of another, or give someone a helping hand, that's spiritual. When we observe the beauty of a landscape or listen to inspiring music, that's spiritual.

It's not necessary to see visions or blinding lights to have a spiritual awakening. Rather, by following these steps, we become aware of altered perceptiosn and modified actions.

Today's Step: In the simplest of things, I discover spirituality at work.

Carrying The Message

"Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out." anonymous

Whether or not we've been aware of it, we've been carrying the message of recovery to everyone in our life today. As they've watched the changes in us since we first began to practice the principles of our program, they've seen a great metamorphosis taking place.

We've also influenced newer acquaintances, simply by our candor and lack of artifice. After we've finally discarded the burden of obsessive/compulsive behavior, we tend to be far less guarded and secretive. We no longer fear being "found out" because we have nothing to hide. What a blessing that is!

The support groups that have been so beneficial to our recovery have been another area in our lives where we've carried the message. We've done this just by showing up on a continuing basis; by participating in our own recovery by sharing our experiences, strengths, and hopes with others; by being willing to discuss our past with someone who is wrestling with a similiar problem. This is how we're demonstrating love and service to others and fulfilling this requirement of continuing recovery.

For "loners," a pen pal relationship is a marvelous way to carry the message. Computer networds and fax machines can also create a support system almost as good as being there in person.

Today's Step: My daily practice of the Twelve Steps enables me to carry the message of recovery.

Rebuilding Relationships

"When we admit we were wrong, we are wiser today than we were yesterday." anonymous

Since we were very small, most of us have heard the adage "Actions speak louder than words." We think this is a very appropriate guideline for our continuing recovery program

We can think of no better way for us to carry the message of recovery than to maintain good relationships with those around us and to continue to work on problems left over from our past.

Many of us have experienced family difficulties caused by our diseases. Because of this we need to understand that although our spouse or children may forgive us, sometimes it's hard for them to trust again. As one husband sadly remarked about his recovering wife, "I'm afraid I have more trust in the disease than I do in her recovery."

Their feelings are authentic and need to be respected. It takes time to heal old wounds. We want to guard against petulance and resentment, against our own feeling that they aren't giving us credit for being totally well and totally responsible. As a matter of fact, we often try to manipulate others by using our past disorder as a cop-out to avoid facing an unpleasant situation, saying it would be a threat to our recovery. But whenever we do this, we're actually reinforcing their fears that our recovery might, indeed, be a transitory thing.

Today's Step: I practice the principle of recovery daily and take the time to heal old wounds.

Spiritual Progress

"I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God but my God eluded me. I sought my brother and I found all three." anonymous

These words from the Big Book reassure and help us:

Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to practice perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress, rather than spiritual perfection.

We don't want to belabor the question of spirituality's relationship with religion but we have come to understand that spirituality is not in conflict with any denomination, philosophy, or faith. We have found that it is a universal force, embodied in whatever form or manifestation we percieve, that allows us to live in love and respect of other people.

So, whether our awakening is dramatic or quietly emerging, whether it is an intellectual observation, or as embryonic as the tiny mustard seed, it is a bonafide awakening and will serve us.

Today's Step: I trust my own perception of God, be they religous or spiritual.