Happy Holidays
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 33
Happy Holidays
Hi everyone. Happy holidays. It is good to see all the familiar names. Just wanted to say hi and wish everyone a happy holiday season.
In case you are wondering, everything on my end, from the Nar-anon angle is great. Meaning, it is no longer an issue in my life. I have actually, since the time I came on here regularly, been through a period of being single, followed by a two-year relationship (got engaged but came to my senses), followed by another period of being single and dating, leading up to now. Right now, I am dating a great woman (not an addict -- am never going there again). I have gone extremely slow because I wanted to make absolutely sure I was not rushing into anything or falling into the same pitfalls. Every step has been a little closer, I think.
So this time around, it went from kind of dating on and off, to seeing each other irregularly, to kind of casual dating, to what we are now, which is what I would classify a relationship. And this after knowing her for a year now. So anyway, you see that I am going slow on these things now, and it is working out great.
I started seeing a therapist during my period of singleness. Not because of some acute need, but because I wanted to fine tune my perspectives and understand myself a little better. Some days I think I don't need it. Other days it is nice to have someone to talk to. So I am still doing that, and I don't really have any plans to stop. We'll see.
So yeah, anyway, that is pretty much it for me. I hope everyone has a great holiday season. Talk to you soon!
In case you are wondering, everything on my end, from the Nar-anon angle is great. Meaning, it is no longer an issue in my life. I have actually, since the time I came on here regularly, been through a period of being single, followed by a two-year relationship (got engaged but came to my senses), followed by another period of being single and dating, leading up to now. Right now, I am dating a great woman (not an addict -- am never going there again). I have gone extremely slow because I wanted to make absolutely sure I was not rushing into anything or falling into the same pitfalls. Every step has been a little closer, I think.
So this time around, it went from kind of dating on and off, to seeing each other irregularly, to kind of casual dating, to what we are now, which is what I would classify a relationship. And this after knowing her for a year now. So anyway, you see that I am going slow on these things now, and it is working out great.
I started seeing a therapist during my period of singleness. Not because of some acute need, but because I wanted to fine tune my perspectives and understand myself a little better. Some days I think I don't need it. Other days it is nice to have someone to talk to. So I am still doing that, and I don't really have any plans to stop. We'll see.
So yeah, anyway, that is pretty much it for me. I hope everyone has a great holiday season. Talk to you soon!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Nice to see you Pum.
I thought for sure you were off and married these days.
Its all ( dating/single/dating) part of the learning process (as I'm finding out myself.)
Glad to hear you are well...and Happy Holidays back at you
(((Hugs)))
Cece
I thought for sure you were off and married these days.
Its all ( dating/single/dating) part of the learning process (as I'm finding out myself.)
Glad to hear you are well...and Happy Holidays back at you
(((Hugs)))
Cece
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Midwest
Posts: 66
Thanks for checking in! Glad to hear you're doing great. You helped me a great deal a couple of years ago and I will be forever grateful to you. SR is a lifesaver during those "trying" times!!
Enjoy your new girlfriend and Happy Holidays!
Jen
Enjoy your new girlfriend and Happy Holidays!
Jen
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 220
Hi Pum,
Thanks for checking in. We have all wondered about you. I am so glad you are in a happier place in your life than when you hung out here.
We do SO love a success story! Don't be a stranger.
Mwah,
Babs
Thanks for checking in. We have all wondered about you. I am so glad you are in a happier place in your life than when you hung out here.
We do SO love a success story! Don't be a stranger.
Mwah,
Babs
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Merry Christmas, Pum, it's wonderful to hear from you. 
I'm glad your life is going well and that you're taking good care of yourself.
I'm still on the water so if you ever sail north, wayyyyy north, you'd better stop in.
And special for this visit...a haiku just for the king of haiku's...Pum
I missed you dear Pum
But will always remember
Assbag 101.
Happy Holiday Hugs
I'm glad your life is going well and that you're taking good care of yourself.
I'm still on the water so if you ever sail north, wayyyyy north, you'd better stop in.
And special for this visit...a haiku just for the king of haiku's...Pum
I missed you dear Pum
But will always remember
Assbag 101.
Happy Holiday Hugs
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
And special for this visit...a haiku just for the king of haiku's...Pum
I missed you dear Pum
But will always remember
Assbag 101.
I missed you dear Pum
But will always remember
Assbag 101.
good to see you Pum. I also thought you were long since married to the woman from a few yrs ago... glad to hear that you're doing well and going slowly in your new life.
Don't be a stranger. There are so many here who could learn a thing or 2 from you and your journey.
Hugs
Barb (You probably knew me as Osier59... I've had to change my ID a time or 2 since then...)
PS I think I had a JT sighting as well... perhaps it's time for the family to start coming home for the holidays!!
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Ahhh Pum,
There you are!
You are dearly missed. Happy to hear you're smooth sailing.
I like the idea of a Therapist, if I was in one place long enough, I'd like to see one, too.
(If you want to go on a great Canadian fishing trip, send me a pm, you're welcome anytime)
Miss ya, don't be a stranger.....
Have a wonderful Christmas, and a happy new year...
There you are!
You are dearly missed. Happy to hear you're smooth sailing.
I like the idea of a Therapist, if I was in one place long enough, I'd like to see one, too.
(If you want to go on a great Canadian fishing trip, send me a pm, you're welcome anytime)
Miss ya, don't be a stranger.....
Have a wonderful Christmas, and a happy new year...
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Hiya, Pum!
I've thought of you often, and missed you. And yes, I too thought you must be married and settled. I'm sorry it didn't work with your lady friend.
There's a new place in the city that sells fish tacos. I had one in honor of you. It was GREAT! LOL!
Speaking of Haikus:
Happy Holidays
My dear friend, Pumuckl
Do come back real soon.
Oh, yea; Trevor is doing well. He's got a g/f with a few kids and is having one of his own. I'm gonna be a grandma! LOL!
Be well, Pum!
L'Chaim!
(To Life!)
I've thought of you often, and missed you. And yes, I too thought you must be married and settled. I'm sorry it didn't work with your lady friend.
There's a new place in the city that sells fish tacos. I had one in honor of you. It was GREAT! LOL!
Speaking of Haikus:
Happy Holidays
My dear friend, Pumuckl
Do come back real soon.
Oh, yea; Trevor is doing well. He's got a g/f with a few kids and is having one of his own. I'm gonna be a grandma! LOL!
Be well, Pum!
L'Chaim!
(To Life!)
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Pum!! Hell, I thought your computer broke... smile.
So good to see you, and get caught up on what you are doing. Sounds like you are doing exactly the next right thing... ((((BIG hugs))))
So good to see you, and get caught up on what you are doing. Sounds like you are doing exactly the next right thing... ((((BIG hugs))))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 33
Hi everyone. Thanks so much for the nice replies. It is nice to see the familiar places. This website was great for me. Consistency, and knowing I could get things out and run them past the people I know here -- the people who replied to this thread (and the "new" people too).
There were a few times when I turned here first. I got nothing but positivity here. It seems like ages ago. I made a vow to myself that it would never be me again. I would stay away from the addiction cycle. And yeah, I pretty much have done that, although my ex wife has consistently brought me memories of those rough times, which I have used again and again. And the tools of recovery that I learned from all of you and this forum have stuck. Most basically, that [fill in the blank] is not on me, and [fill in the blank] is. It seems so simple, but it took me years of reading other people's struggles and applying them to my own, to realize what is and what is not something I can "fix" or help.
So yeah, I guess the last time I checked in, I was eitehr engaged or almost engaged to my former girlfriend, who was not my ex-wife, the meth addict. As it turns out, the ex-fiancee was really not great for me either. It was nothing to do with addiction, and she is a good person who I respect a lot. But we were really different. Looking back, and with the help of that therapist I mentioned, I can't understand why I decided to ask her to marry me. As I said, I figured out eventually that things would not be right. Actually, both of us did. We were just so different.
I realize now that I have a bit of a pattern going here. I tend to not realize these red flags until it is too late. But after over a year since my ex-fiancee and I broke up, I have to say that I am in a good place. I am with a woman who is not only good-hearted, but also very much on the same page as I am. She is a few years older, and I have found that this also is kind of a nice thing for me because she knows who she is. She respects herself and me, and it is just great in so many ways.
I am not looking to jump back into getting married. And she understands that chances are, I won't be buying another (3rd) ring any time soon. But I don't think either one of us are in a big hurry. We just want to live life and have some good times together.
In fact, we are heading to Europe in about a week to hit some ski runs and eat lots of Christmas food.
So anyway, I'll try to check back in once in a while. I wish everyone the best....
There were a few times when I turned here first. I got nothing but positivity here. It seems like ages ago. I made a vow to myself that it would never be me again. I would stay away from the addiction cycle. And yeah, I pretty much have done that, although my ex wife has consistently brought me memories of those rough times, which I have used again and again. And the tools of recovery that I learned from all of you and this forum have stuck. Most basically, that [fill in the blank] is not on me, and [fill in the blank] is. It seems so simple, but it took me years of reading other people's struggles and applying them to my own, to realize what is and what is not something I can "fix" or help.
So yeah, I guess the last time I checked in, I was eitehr engaged or almost engaged to my former girlfriend, who was not my ex-wife, the meth addict. As it turns out, the ex-fiancee was really not great for me either. It was nothing to do with addiction, and she is a good person who I respect a lot. But we were really different. Looking back, and with the help of that therapist I mentioned, I can't understand why I decided to ask her to marry me. As I said, I figured out eventually that things would not be right. Actually, both of us did. We were just so different.
I realize now that I have a bit of a pattern going here. I tend to not realize these red flags until it is too late. But after over a year since my ex-fiancee and I broke up, I have to say that I am in a good place. I am with a woman who is not only good-hearted, but also very much on the same page as I am. She is a few years older, and I have found that this also is kind of a nice thing for me because she knows who she is. She respects herself and me, and it is just great in so many ways.
I am not looking to jump back into getting married. And she understands that chances are, I won't be buying another (3rd) ring any time soon. But I don't think either one of us are in a big hurry. We just want to live life and have some good times together.
In fact, we are heading to Europe in about a week to hit some ski runs and eat lots of Christmas food.
So anyway, I'll try to check back in once in a while. I wish everyone the best....
)
Sweet Christmas secrets
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: ALASKA
Posts: 119
SO good to see ya Pum!
Merry Christmas and thanks for reminding us just how simple it really is...the hard part is the doing it.
"Most basically, that [fill in the blank] is not on me, and [fill in the blank] is. It seems so simple, but it took me years of reading other people's struggles and applying them to my own, to realize what is and what is not something I can "fix" or help."
Merry Christmas PUM!
Merry Christmas and thanks for reminding us just how simple it really is...the hard part is the doing it.
"Most basically, that [fill in the blank] is not on me, and [fill in the blank] is. It seems so simple, but it took me years of reading other people's struggles and applying them to my own, to realize what is and what is not something I can "fix" or help."
Merry Christmas PUM!
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