Al-Anon
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: NJ
Posts: 24
Al-Anon
Now that I'm not involved with the A in my life and there doesn't seem to be any reason why I would be again, and I don't expect to hear from her, is it smart to keep going to Al-Anon? I understand the benefits but in a way it seems as though it will keep me in the pain and keep me thinking about her. I do plan on going tonight but I'm not sure how long I should go.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Well... I also do not have an Alcoholic in my life... but the question for me is why I keep choosing unavailable people and there is no surer way to make sure a relationship will not work then to choose an Alcoholic.
My experience is that Al-anon was a life saver when I lived with an alcoholic, when I first crashed and burned... After that was over I had to take some hard looks at the reasons I was self destructive... That is when theraphy and my program in CoDA started. I have heard many Alcoholics and Al-anons come into CoDA and state that now is when then really hard work begins.
CoDA helps me reach deeper inside, it teaches me to have healthy, Loving relationships.... not only with other people... but also with myself.
Yes you can stop Al-anon, but by the time I came to the place you are at Al-anon was not because I was involved with an Alcoholic... it was because I was involved in my recovery and wanted to grow into a person who has the Joy inside... not the one that is happy on the outside... So I choose to continue my recovery...... For Me.
My experience is that Al-anon was a life saver when I lived with an alcoholic, when I first crashed and burned... After that was over I had to take some hard looks at the reasons I was self destructive... That is when theraphy and my program in CoDA started. I have heard many Alcoholics and Al-anons come into CoDA and state that now is when then really hard work begins.
CoDA helps me reach deeper inside, it teaches me to have healthy, Loving relationships.... not only with other people... but also with myself.
Yes you can stop Al-anon, but by the time I came to the place you are at Al-anon was not because I was involved with an Alcoholic... it was because I was involved in my recovery and wanted to grow into a person who has the Joy inside... not the one that is happy on the outside... So I choose to continue my recovery...... For Me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: NJ
Posts: 24
After going to the meeting tonight, I realized why it's so important for me to keep going. It was the best thing that I did today.
I am realizing how sick I have become and how much I need the support of this group. I am learning how this disease has affected me not just with this previous relationship, but with others before her.
I still miss her terribly and would like to reach out to her. I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do so for now I'm just going to leave it be.
I am learning much more about this disease and how it has affected her life, my life, and how it turns so many people's lives upside down.
I am realizing how sick I have become and how much I need the support of this group. I am learning how this disease has affected me not just with this previous relationship, but with others before her.
I still miss her terribly and would like to reach out to her. I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do so for now I'm just going to leave it be.
I am learning much more about this disease and how it has affected her life, my life, and how it turns so many people's lives upside down.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Cheney, Washington
Posts: 11
Im so glad you ended up going. Even if you felt that there was nothing affecting your life or relationships, it is always beneficial to learn. No matter what you are doing or will do in your life, you will come into contact with so many addicts. It's inevitable. Having insight into the lives of others and their problems can only help.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: virginia beach, va
Posts: 29
I have been a divorced from my alcoholic husband for 29 of the 30 years that I have been an Al-Anon member. I kept coming back because recovery is a way of life. It is like having a savings account. I needed to learn about myself and why I was attracted to the alcoholic. Thanks to Al-Anon, I have never gotten involved with an active alcoholic. For me, my need for recovery didn't end when I got divorced. Al-Anon helped me not only to find myself but to continually try to create myself. After 13 years of Al-Anon, I realized my father was an alcoholic and realized how rampant addiction is in my family. Thanks to Al-Anon, I have self-esteem, self-worth, confidence, and courage to change. I am blessed in so many ways because of the Twelve Steps and Al-Anon. I didn't want to chance leaving Al-Anon and meeting up with another alcoholiic. Life grows on in Al-Anon. There is life after divorce and thanks to Al-Anon, I learned not to get on a self destructive path.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Staying in Alanon is up to you based upon your individual needs. Unfortunately the fallout from being involved with an alcoholic doesn't end when they are out of your life. They have left wounds. Deep wounds. Damage that can easily be carried into the next relationship.
Even though I now seldom attend an Alanon meeting due to time constraints, I read Alanon literature almost every single day. Alanon is still there for me when I need it. This forum provides a medium for me to get (and hopefully give too) support on a time schedule that works for me.
gentle hugs to you
Even though I now seldom attend an Alanon meeting due to time constraints, I read Alanon literature almost every single day. Alanon is still there for me when I need it. This forum provides a medium for me to get (and hopefully give too) support on a time schedule that works for me.
gentle hugs to you
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