KevinL

I am an alcoholic. I drank yesterday. Now I can't stop crying. I have lost my wife and numerous jobs because of my drinking. I am just reaching out because I do not know where else to go. I feel so alone. I have 3 beautiful daughters but do not want to call them. They do not need to see there Dad like this. I do not want to burden my family either. I have been to inpatient, AA to no avail. I feel like I have wasted my life, a life that was blessed with many many things.

Anna

Hi Kevin,

You are not alone. We are all here to help support each other.

I agree with you about not calling your daughters if you don't want to do that. This really is something you have to do for yourself. Focus on what you can do today to not drink. Get rid of any alcohol at your home. Go home via a different route and don't stop to buy alcohol. Do something different when you get home. Do whatever it takes to get and stay sober.

We're here to help and you can do this!

Robzoloft

Hey Kevin- My name is Rob. I have been exactly where you are right now....I too lost everything that meant anything to me..all behind drugs and alcohol. I lost my marraige of 13 years, custody of 2 beautiful children, my home, my car, all my posessions were pawned os sold for dope, Everything gone...I rented rooms in peoples basements ...6 in one year...I stole to eat and to drink....I did shameful terrible things to people.....BUT...it got better. I am now re-married..2 step-kids..my own kids every other weekend and holidays. Am back in good standing at work, having been caught drunk on the job 3 years ago....live in a house, not a room. I'm human again...not the animal I'd become. Thing is....you got to reach out for help....you will not succeeed on your own...I tried literally for decades to control it and stop it....I failed miserably with more pain and loss each time....CALL SOMEONE....call the hospital if you need to...you have to break the cycle now...somehow

Rowan

Welcome to our recovery community, Kevin.

I lost my eldest daughter due to my drinking and behaviour - I am clean and sober today and have been for 17 months - if I keep the focus on me, and on getting well, I am sure that she will come back to me. Recovery is hard work, but it is possible. Pick yourself up and reach out for help. And please, keep posting. You don't have to go through this alone.

KevinL

thank you. Right now I feel pain, so very sad. I lost my wife, for good this time. Part of me understands why while another part of me thinks that she was not with me when I needed her most. She said she gave it all she had. I guess 8 years of putting up with me being a drunk was too much. It just hurts so much.

Rowan

Well, Kevin, the good news is that you can do something about this. Not about your wife, but about your drinking.

I go to AA, and I see an addictions counsellor, and I attend relapse prevention therapy. Go to the same lengths to get sober that you would to get a drink, and wait and see what will happen.

I strongly suggest you find a tel # for AA, call them and explain what you are going through. There is a solution, Kevin.

Robzoloft

My ex-wife put up with a lot....and now she's gone and re-married to someone she met in AA...she is not coming back...we do however have to have a relationship for our two kids ( ages 9, 12) We were together over 20 years and I put substances over her...plain and simple. I went to places of emotional pain and loss that I thought would never end...endless agony of loneliness and fear and rage...all topped off with oceans of cheap vodka....the irony is when you put the bottle down and face the agony and reality of what happened rather than hiding in the bottle....things change and its been my experience its usually for the better.....you can live again....but its up to you