New view on things.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: NZ
Posts: 32
New view on things.
I decided last night to put myself on the line again, and trust my A.
I imagine a lot of people who have gone through some horid times are shaking their heads at me now, and maybe you are right. But right now, I am going to try and trust him about this.
I know I might get hurt. I know he might let me down again. I know he might be lying. But something deep down is telling me to trust him that he's not using right now.
We had a big talk last night. I asked many questions about his past and current situation which I haven't understood, or have been wondering about.
I am still not completely at peace with the decision he made to quit the rehab he was in, but I do see why his reason's make sense to him. He has a meeting with the rehab centre he wants to go to on Thurs. And I have a meeting with the closest we have here to NA on Wed, and an appointment with a drug and addictions counseller as soon as I can fit it around work.
The past fortnight has been a big shake up and wake up call. I think the pressure suddenly caught up with me and I imploded! But I feel more clear about things now, and ready to address the issues his addiction has caused in me, and to let him choose his own path to address his own issues.
I imagine a lot of people who have gone through some horid times are shaking their heads at me now, and maybe you are right. But right now, I am going to try and trust him about this.
I know I might get hurt. I know he might let me down again. I know he might be lying. But something deep down is telling me to trust him that he's not using right now.
We had a big talk last night. I asked many questions about his past and current situation which I haven't understood, or have been wondering about.
I am still not completely at peace with the decision he made to quit the rehab he was in, but I do see why his reason's make sense to him. He has a meeting with the rehab centre he wants to go to on Thurs. And I have a meeting with the closest we have here to NA on Wed, and an appointment with a drug and addictions counseller as soon as I can fit it around work.
The past fortnight has been a big shake up and wake up call. I think the pressure suddenly caught up with me and I imploded! But I feel more clear about things now, and ready to address the issues his addiction has caused in me, and to let him choose his own path to address his own issues.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Tabitha -
Honey, no one here is going to judge you. I've read a gazillion posts here and I think everyone here has gone with their gut in most situations. You have to do what YOU are most comfortable with.
You've got a lot more knowledge about addiction now, and you know you need to take care of you. Will he change? Who knows? The main thing is you are doing what you need to do. Just keep taking care of you and go by his actions...as an RA, I know our words are just that - words. Good luck to you!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Honey, no one here is going to judge you. I've read a gazillion posts here and I think everyone here has gone with their gut in most situations. You have to do what YOU are most comfortable with.
You've got a lot more knowledge about addiction now, and you know you need to take care of you. Will he change? Who knows? The main thing is you are doing what you need to do. Just keep taking care of you and go by his actions...as an RA, I know our words are just that - words. Good luck to you!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: ca
Posts: 103
Tabitha - I can relate to many of your posts. Trust has to start somewhere so if he is telling you the truth and it is proved through his actions, then he's building back that trust one step at a time. Good luck at your meeting.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
Same with me chica... I'm doing the same thing... after the first few hours on the phone Saturday night... I knew I was putting myself on the line again.
What is really helping in that decision is his concern of my illness too... and I'm learning to love from a distance ... (literally - we are long distance) - which is hard enough.
Stay coming here for the support... I know I was afraid to lay it all out here that I was doing the same... but I truly believe that if we go with our gut... then we are making the right decision.
(((HUGS)))
What is really helping in that decision is his concern of my illness too... and I'm learning to love from a distance ... (literally - we are long distance) - which is hard enough.
Stay coming here for the support... I know I was afraid to lay it all out here that I was doing the same... but I truly believe that if we go with our gut... then we are making the right decision.
(((HUGS)))
Originally Posted by Tabithacat 
I decided last night to put myself on the line again, and trust my A.
I imagine a lot of people who have gone through some horid times are shaking their heads at me now, and maybe you are right. But right now, I am going to try and trust him about this.
I know I might get hurt. I know he might let me down again. I know he might be lying. But something deep down is telling me to trust him that he's not using right now.
We had a big talk last night. I asked many questions about his past and current situation which I haven't understood, or have been wondering about.
I am still not completely at peace with the decision he made to quit the rehab he was in, but I do see why his reason's make sense to him. He has a meeting with the rehab centre he wants to go to on Thurs. And I have a meeting with the closest we have here to NA on Wed, and an appointment with a drug and addictions counseller as soon as I can fit it around work.
The past fortnight has been a big shake up and wake up call. I think the pressure suddenly caught up with me and I imploded! But I feel more clear about things now, and ready to address the issues his addiction has caused in me, and to let him choose his own path to address his own issues.
I imagine a lot of people who have gone through some horid times are shaking their heads at me now, and maybe you are right. But right now, I am going to try and trust him about this.
I know I might get hurt. I know he might let me down again. I know he might be lying. But something deep down is telling me to trust him that he's not using right now.
We had a big talk last night. I asked many questions about his past and current situation which I haven't understood, or have been wondering about.
I am still not completely at peace with the decision he made to quit the rehab he was in, but I do see why his reason's make sense to him. He has a meeting with the rehab centre he wants to go to on Thurs. And I have a meeting with the closest we have here to NA on Wed, and an appointment with a drug and addictions counseller as soon as I can fit it around work.
The past fortnight has been a big shake up and wake up call. I think the pressure suddenly caught up with me and I imploded! But I feel more clear about things now, and ready to address the issues his addiction has caused in me, and to let him choose his own path to address his own issues.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
we are here for you reguardless of choices you make. we do not judge. i am glad you are going to go to meetings. please keep coming back here & letting us know how u r doing.prayers for you 7 him both.
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
Tabbycat,
No head shaking. Just a headlock. lol
Just kidding.
You need to know right now...I love expressing myself with photos.
FYI. (for your info, for those of you who don't know the lingo.lol)
There is no finger pointing or blame here. We are here to support each
other through the thicks and thins of this war against addiction.
We have all done things we're not proud of and if we're real lucky...
we get a few turns at doing right. Your loved and welcomed here,
no matter what.
Friends?
Hugs,
No head shaking. Just a headlock. lol
Just kidding.
You need to know right now...I love expressing myself with photos.
FYI. (for your info, for those of you who don't know the lingo.lol)
There is no finger pointing or blame here. We are here to support each
other through the thicks and thins of this war against addiction.
We have all done things we're not proud of and if we're real lucky...
we get a few turns at doing right. Your loved and welcomed here,
no matter what.
Friends?
Hugs,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: NZ
Posts: 32
Defensiveness is in built!!
Sorry guys, I didn't mean to accuse anyone of being judgemental... I guess I am getting uncomfortably used to people being judgemental and getting a wee bit defensive! Claws are all out and ready at the moment!
I have a meeting tommorrow night with local alcohol / drugs addiction services centre. Bit nervous, but also looking forward to it, looking forward to getting some extra support face to face and learning more about how to deal with all of this properly.
Fill you in tommorrow!
I have a meeting tommorrow night with local alcohol / drugs addiction services centre. Bit nervous, but also looking forward to it, looking forward to getting some extra support face to face and learning more about how to deal with all of this properly.
Fill you in tommorrow!
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