Help Me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 10
Help Me
I'm new here. I don't know what I am doing or how I feel.
Do I have a drinking problem? I don't know.
Its just that when I drink I end up feeling so bad the next day. So bad that I just want to end it all. I wouldn't do it Im sure but it scares me how low I can get.
I get fixated on the night before and the things I said. Most of it isn't bad but I feel guilty about eveything.
I can't believe I am like this. My husband had a drinking problem last year, he sought help when I threatened to leave. Now Im the one with the problem.
I don't drink every night, in fact I can go weeks without drinking, but when i do drink I end up feeling so bad. I don't know what to do.
Do I have a drinking problem? I don't know.
Its just that when I drink I end up feeling so bad the next day. So bad that I just want to end it all. I wouldn't do it Im sure but it scares me how low I can get.
I get fixated on the night before and the things I said. Most of it isn't bad but I feel guilty about eveything.
I can't believe I am like this. My husband had a drinking problem last year, he sought help when I threatened to leave. Now Im the one with the problem.
I don't drink every night, in fact I can go weeks without drinking, but when i do drink I end up feeling so bad. I don't know what to do.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 666
Hey Juicy Fruit,
You've come to a good place. There are many women on this site whose wisdom and guidance is amazing. No doubt they'll be checking in with you soon. In the meantime, know that you are not alone and can do this. I felt much the same as you 11 years ago. Hang tough, check in frequently, and listen to what these wise women tell you. They know what they're talking about. If you were a guy, I'd know a little more about what to do... but these ladies can give you a better perspective and understanding as to your situation and what lies ahead. I'll say a prayer and say again- you can stop!
Mike
Mike
You've come to a good place. There are many women on this site whose wisdom and guidance is amazing. No doubt they'll be checking in with you soon. In the meantime, know that you are not alone and can do this. I felt much the same as you 11 years ago. Hang tough, check in frequently, and listen to what these wise women tell you. They know what they're talking about. If you were a guy, I'd know a little more about what to do... but these ladies can give you a better perspective and understanding as to your situation and what lies ahead. I'll say a prayer and say again- you can stop!
Mike
Mike
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Juicyfruit,
No one can answer the question about if your drinking is a problem except you. Is there anything else in your life where "when I do it I end up feeling so bad the next day. So bad that I just want to end it all. I wouldn't do it I'm sure but it scares me how low I can get."?
Have you thought about AA? What did your H do? Please let us know.
No one can answer the question about if your drinking is a problem except you. Is there anything else in your life where "when I do it I end up feeling so bad the next day. So bad that I just want to end it all. I wouldn't do it I'm sure but it scares me how low I can get."?
Have you thought about AA? What did your H do? Please let us know.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,466
Hi and Welcome,
It's great you're seeking help. Alcohol is a depressant and if you are having suicidal thoughts after drinking, it's a problem. But, only you can decide if you are an alcoholic and want to stop drinking.
It's great you're seeking help. Alcohol is a depressant and if you are having suicidal thoughts after drinking, it's a problem. But, only you can decide if you are an alcoholic and want to stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
Hi Juicyfruit and welcome. Alcohol can cause many of us problems to different degrees and maybe if you feel so low afterwards just lay off it.Do you crave it and feel you can't stop once you start? That's how i felt but everyones not the same.It's also clear that many alcoholics and those who feel they might have a problem can go days without as well. You might be in a position were you can sort this out quickly,so maybe seek medical advice and read the posts here as there are many experts to help,best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 32
I know how you feel..My last big drunk was Wednesday and I too am still dealing with the ramifications..I realized the bottom line is that without booze, there is no more humiliation, no more wondering what I said, no more hangovers, no more taking my life into my hands driving. Its all positive. Drinking isnt worth loosing your self respect..Seek help and try to stay sober, you will feel much better trust me..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 10
Thanks
I guess I know I have a problem deep down. I never thought this would happen to me. I just don't fit the description of someone I would think of having a drink problem. Im a successful career woman, I think Im starting to realise this can affect anyone.
No nothing else in my life makes me feel this way. I have a lovely family,eveything I could wish for. I will feel ok tomorrow I know but today I feel awful because I had too much to drink last night. The feelings are getting worse every time it happens. I just can't see a life without alcohol. All my friends drink. No one would describe me as a problem drinker but that is because I keep it hidden. I just can't cope with this awful feeling the next day.
My husband went to an addictions centre for counselling. he still drinks but he can control it now. But I can't, once I start I can't stop.
I guess I know I have a problem deep down. I never thought this would happen to me. I just don't fit the description of someone I would think of having a drink problem. Im a successful career woman, I think Im starting to realise this can affect anyone.
No nothing else in my life makes me feel this way. I have a lovely family,eveything I could wish for. I will feel ok tomorrow I know but today I feel awful because I had too much to drink last night. The feelings are getting worse every time it happens. I just can't see a life without alcohol. All my friends drink. No one would describe me as a problem drinker but that is because I keep it hidden. I just can't cope with this awful feeling the next day.
My husband went to an addictions centre for counselling. he still drinks but he can control it now. But I can't, once I start I can't stop.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,466
If you are an alcoholic, you cannot control your drinking. Most of us on this board have tried countless times to make it work. For awhile I was successful, but would always end up worse off. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and if you do not stop it, it will claim you.
I also was shocked to find myself in this position. I rarely drank at all until my mid-forties when I began using alcohol as a way to help me cope with stress and sleeping problems. In no time at all I was hooked and on a downward spiral.
We are here to offer support if you choose to stop drinking.
I also was shocked to find myself in this position. I rarely drank at all until my mid-forties when I began using alcohol as a way to help me cope with stress and sleeping problems. In no time at all I was hooked and on a downward spiral.
We are here to offer support if you choose to stop drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 10
Thanks so much to everyone who listened to me. I actually feel like a bit of a burden has been lifted.
Could i give up drinking _ I don't know. It feels like there's always something happening like a work Christmas party, or a holiday and Im thinking I have to drink at that. I keep doing it even though I know that the next day I will be a rock bottom.
How can you give up. Its so hard
Could i give up drinking _ I don't know. It feels like there's always something happening like a work Christmas party, or a holiday and Im thinking I have to drink at that. I keep doing it even though I know that the next day I will be a rock bottom.
How can you give up. Its so hard
Next stop: real life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 990
Juicyfruit: I was in denial for a long time because I don't fit the stereotype of an alcoholic. To me, alcoholics were old, derelict men. I was a twenty-year-old kid studying neuroscience at a great college. What I'm learning here on SR is that there's only one common factor among alcoholics: once we start, we can't stop.
Does your husband know you're concerned?
Does your husband know you're concerned?
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
There are as many different degrees of alcoholism as there are alcoholics...chronic, functioning, periodic, binge, daily, high bottom, low bottom, (or somewhere in between)...you name it, we'll claim it.
Only you can say those words that identify you as an alcoholic. But, why would you want to continue doing something that is causing you so much anguish? Doesn't sound like you're having enough fun to make those "morning after" blues worth the trouble.
Why not give AA the suggested 90 day trial period? Don't drink and make meetings for three months. See if that helps you decide if you'd rather be sober than drunk and hung-over.
Only you can say those words that identify you as an alcoholic. But, why would you want to continue doing something that is causing you so much anguish? Doesn't sound like you're having enough fun to make those "morning after" blues worth the trouble.
Why not give AA the suggested 90 day trial period? Don't drink and make meetings for three months. See if that helps you decide if you'd rather be sober than drunk and hung-over.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 10
Thanks you Tellus
My husband knows about my depression. But not much more, I don't want to tell him in case it affects his recovery. He has come so far in the last year from a very heavy drinker to a sensible one. I feel like I have let him down by becoming like this.
My husband knows about my depression. But not much more, I don't want to tell him in case it affects his recovery. He has come so far in the last year from a very heavy drinker to a sensible one. I feel like I have let him down by becoming like this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 32
I felt like that too.. I wondered how I would ever stop totally drinking and thought, hmm no i'll just learn to control it..Well now that I got charged with assault, made a fool out of myself at work , and drove drunk may times, i realized that I would much prefer to wake up every morning alive, completley aware of what I did the night before and full of all kinds of self-respect. I would rather be the one hearing about the stories, not being in the center of them. Its only been 5 days and I already am loving this new feeling. You can say a million times, next time I wont drink as much, or I'll eat before I do drink and won't make a fool of myself. I did..And it never worked. I realize that my emotions mixed with alcohol are dangerous and self-distructive. I would rather spend my time alone and watchin tv, doin laundry, all the normal stuff, then pulling the crap I did the other night. I feel like we are clouded so much when we are drinking, we can't see who we really are..We sober up, only to realize that we don't know that person and are destroying ourselves. So we drink again to not have to face reality..I realize its time to stay sober, face what I've done and change it in a positive way. Everyone of us deserve to be loved, have self-worth, why throw it away with drinking. I hope this helps.. the road is not easy but the rewards are so much better then waking up not knowing the person you've become..
Good luck to you!
Cheryl
Good luck to you!
Cheryl
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 127
Hi, Juicyfruit --
I can really relate to your situation. My life is very much like yours as you have described it. And I have come to the realization that I really do have a problem. I don't drink everyday, but when I do...often on the weekends...I tell myself that I will just have two glasses of wine, no more. However, most of the time I am not able to stop at two. And frequently I wake up the next morning with an empty wine bottle in my kitchen and no memory of what I did or said. My husband tells me that when I am drunk I often talk about killing myself. This strikes me as odd, since I am a pretty happy, positive person when I'm not drinking.
Anyway, I wrote my first post to this forum yesterday. I did it because I know I need to get rid of my evil twin. She does and says stupid things and wastes a lot of time that I could be using productively. And I'm so sick of hangovers and all of the emotional pain and regret that goes with them. I'm ready to give sobriety a chance. My plan is to skip the bottle of wine I usually stop to buy on the way home from work next Friday and to log in here instead. I will look for you here. Maybe we could support each other since we are both new and in somewhat similar situations. I know I am going to need all the help I can get. I wish you the best of luck!
tra
I can really relate to your situation. My life is very much like yours as you have described it. And I have come to the realization that I really do have a problem. I don't drink everyday, but when I do...often on the weekends...I tell myself that I will just have two glasses of wine, no more. However, most of the time I am not able to stop at two. And frequently I wake up the next morning with an empty wine bottle in my kitchen and no memory of what I did or said. My husband tells me that when I am drunk I often talk about killing myself. This strikes me as odd, since I am a pretty happy, positive person when I'm not drinking.
Anyway, I wrote my first post to this forum yesterday. I did it because I know I need to get rid of my evil twin. She does and says stupid things and wastes a lot of time that I could be using productively. And I'm so sick of hangovers and all of the emotional pain and regret that goes with them. I'm ready to give sobriety a chance. My plan is to skip the bottle of wine I usually stop to buy on the way home from work next Friday and to log in here instead. I will look for you here. Maybe we could support each other since we are both new and in somewhat similar situations. I know I am going to need all the help I can get. I wish you the best of luck!
tra
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
