17 Red Flags In a Relationship
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
17 Red Flags In a Relationship
Before you get into a serious relationship with your boy friend or marry your boyfriend, ask your self…have I seen any of these red flags? If so, you may want to run baby run…
1. If your parents or siblings have doubts about him, pay attention. Listen and check it out.
2. If your intended has nothing good to say about his ex, beware. This is a pattern. Divorce is rarely only one person’s fault.
3. If his children have nothing to do with him, do not believe him if he says his ex brainwashed them against him. My Stepchildren have told me it was because they hated him, and they have good reasons.
4. Look closely at his credit and job history. They are sure predictors of what your life will be like.
5. If he is over 30 and has no money, do not let him move in with you, and don’t marry him until he is financially solvent. If he has any respect for you (and himself), he’ll insist on it.
6. Be sure in your heart that you can live with him AS IS. You cannot change another person.
7. This a biggie: Beware if he has no friends. It is not true they all decided to side with his ex.
8. If your friends dislike him, pay attention. This is also true if he hates your friends.
9. If he has more than one DUI and still drinks, RUN!
10. If he is one personality at work or with others and another person alone with you, run!
11. If he has nothing to do with his parents, investigate why. Don’t take his word for it (I will add this includes his siblings as well, and also if he says a lot of bad things about them it is not a good sign).
12. If he’s an expert on everything and brags a lot, understand that he will turn off a lot of people, eventually maybe even you.
13. If he has sexual problems, go with him to a doctor before you marry him. Believe me, his problem will become your problem.
14. If he is emotionally or verbally abusive, it will only get worse. Yelling, name-calling and glowering are classic signs of an abuser.
15. If he is never wrong and never apologizes, everything will be “your fault” forever. And, after years of hearing it, you may even start to accept the blame.
16. If he does something wrong and he says, “That would not have happened if you hadn’t (fill in the blank),” that another sign of an abuser.
17. If he is mean to children, pets or animals , recognize that he’s pathological , and the next victim could be you.
1. If your parents or siblings have doubts about him, pay attention. Listen and check it out.
2. If your intended has nothing good to say about his ex, beware. This is a pattern. Divorce is rarely only one person’s fault.
3. If his children have nothing to do with him, do not believe him if he says his ex brainwashed them against him. My Stepchildren have told me it was because they hated him, and they have good reasons.
4. Look closely at his credit and job history. They are sure predictors of what your life will be like.
5. If he is over 30 and has no money, do not let him move in with you, and don’t marry him until he is financially solvent. If he has any respect for you (and himself), he’ll insist on it.
6. Be sure in your heart that you can live with him AS IS. You cannot change another person.
7. This a biggie: Beware if he has no friends. It is not true they all decided to side with his ex.
8. If your friends dislike him, pay attention. This is also true if he hates your friends.
9. If he has more than one DUI and still drinks, RUN!
10. If he is one personality at work or with others and another person alone with you, run!
11. If he has nothing to do with his parents, investigate why. Don’t take his word for it (I will add this includes his siblings as well, and also if he says a lot of bad things about them it is not a good sign).
12. If he’s an expert on everything and brags a lot, understand that he will turn off a lot of people, eventually maybe even you.
13. If he has sexual problems, go with him to a doctor before you marry him. Believe me, his problem will become your problem.
14. If he is emotionally or verbally abusive, it will only get worse. Yelling, name-calling and glowering are classic signs of an abuser.
15. If he is never wrong and never apologizes, everything will be “your fault” forever. And, after years of hearing it, you may even start to accept the blame.
16. If he does something wrong and he says, “That would not have happened if you hadn’t (fill in the blank),” that another sign of an abuser.
17. If he is mean to children, pets or animals , recognize that he’s pathological , and the next victim could be you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 92
Those are some good ones, but here are a few more.
18. They gambled away a large amount of money and don't regret it.
19. If your best friend says they doesn't think they are the best fit for you. Listen to this, your true best friend wouldn't steer you wrong.
20. Their relationship history is a good indication of who they are and how things will be if you two end.
21. If you catch them in a lie that seems like they shouldn't need to lie about then they are hiding other things too.
22. They are over 25 and their parents are still buying groceries for them on a weekly basis.
I will return if I think of more.
Thanks!
SG
19. If your best friend says they doesn't think they are the best fit for you. Listen to this, your true best friend wouldn't steer you wrong.
20. Their relationship history is a good indication of who they are and how things will be if you two end.
21. If you catch them in a lie that seems like they shouldn't need to lie about then they are hiding other things too.
22. They are over 25 and their parents are still buying groceries for them on a weekly basis.
I will return if I think of more.
Thanks!
SG
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: here and now
Posts: 1,291
24. Beware of a person who tries to move the relationship along too fast. If he wants to move in with you right away-it is probably because he can't make it on his own and he wants to sponge off of you. Also it is a typical trait of abusive men that they try to move the relationship too fast.
Listen to your instincs, if something doesn't feel right-it probably isn't.
Listen to your instincs, if something doesn't feel right-it probably isn't.
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