It Ain't Hallmark But Oughta Be Xmas Cards and Letters
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It Ain't Hallmark But Oughta Be Xmas Cards and Letters
It's time for some Christmas fun here, so let's put out our own Christmas Cards and Family Letters that Hallmark never thought of. 
I'll start, and then everyone add your own...
Dear Earth People Family and Friends...
As our thoughts turn to Christmas, I'd like to share my year with all of you.
My Johnny has had a busy year, bless his heart, and is now working for the Government, something to do with manufacturing...license plates, I think he said. He wears a uniform (bright orange jumpsuits really become him), and his new profession takes him to an area of "high security". They have guaranteed him 10 years at this job and even gave him his own office, again well secured with bars and cameras to ensure his safety...and theirs.
Before this job he was so busy I hardly saw him....something about "shipping and receiving" (of what I am not certain) and I think this may have even been an international position because I know we got phone calls from all over. And you know what a multi-tasker Johnny always was...this job was on top of his farming job growing crops that were always top secret. Now don't breath a word of this, but I think Johnny was in big with the FBI and CIA.
Your Uncle Fred is doing better, he goes to church seven days a week and meets with some group that reads and studies some book, I think he said it was a really Big Book so that explains why it takes so many meetings to read through it. And he must have a side business too, because he seems to be forever taking inventory. It's just wonderful having a family of entrepreneurs.
Me? Well, I've been well except for the visit to my shrink because I thought I was losing my mind. When Johnny was home for a visit, before his new job, he did a little housecleaning and now I just can't find anything. I could swear that I had a TV and DVD player in my living room, but now there is only one old empty table in that corner. That Johnny, what a kidder, I know he likes to rearrange things but for the life or me I cannot find where he put anything.
Christmas will be quiet here this year, without the TV and Johnny, but I've got my little tree and grandma's collectible ornaments (if I can ever find the darn things, that Johnny was playing with them too). If you are looking for gift ideas for me, well maybe some silverware...mine seems to have disappeared, and it's hard to eat Christmas dinner with my fingers.
I'll call each of you Christmas Day, just as soon as I find my cell phone.
Merry Christmas. :day4
I'll start, and then everyone add your own...
Dear Earth People Family and Friends...
As our thoughts turn to Christmas, I'd like to share my year with all of you.
My Johnny has had a busy year, bless his heart, and is now working for the Government, something to do with manufacturing...license plates, I think he said. He wears a uniform (bright orange jumpsuits really become him), and his new profession takes him to an area of "high security". They have guaranteed him 10 years at this job and even gave him his own office, again well secured with bars and cameras to ensure his safety...and theirs.
Before this job he was so busy I hardly saw him....something about "shipping and receiving" (of what I am not certain) and I think this may have even been an international position because I know we got phone calls from all over. And you know what a multi-tasker Johnny always was...this job was on top of his farming job growing crops that were always top secret. Now don't breath a word of this, but I think Johnny was in big with the FBI and CIA.
Your Uncle Fred is doing better, he goes to church seven days a week and meets with some group that reads and studies some book, I think he said it was a really Big Book so that explains why it takes so many meetings to read through it. And he must have a side business too, because he seems to be forever taking inventory. It's just wonderful having a family of entrepreneurs.
Me? Well, I've been well except for the visit to my shrink because I thought I was losing my mind. When Johnny was home for a visit, before his new job, he did a little housecleaning and now I just can't find anything. I could swear that I had a TV and DVD player in my living room, but now there is only one old empty table in that corner. That Johnny, what a kidder, I know he likes to rearrange things but for the life or me I cannot find where he put anything.
Christmas will be quiet here this year, without the TV and Johnny, but I've got my little tree and grandma's collectible ornaments (if I can ever find the darn things, that Johnny was playing with them too). If you are looking for gift ideas for me, well maybe some silverware...mine seems to have disappeared, and it's hard to eat Christmas dinner with my fingers.
I'll call each of you Christmas Day, just as soon as I find my cell phone.
Merry Christmas. :day4
A work in progress....
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
How great!! I have already composed a letter for ex's family, but it really isn't so funny....I haven't decided whether to mail it or not.....here goes:
Dear (SIL),
With the holidays coming up, I felt I should write to you and ‘clear the air’. I didn’t want Christmas to get here without somehow letting you know how I feel. I care very much about you, (BIL), (nephew), (MIL), and all the rest of the family that I have called my own for so many years. I am very sorry that things have turned out the way they have for (ex), for me, but most of all for our boys.
I know (ex) is your brother, I know you love him. I know that you probably don’t understand why I am divorcing him, and I wouldn’t expect you to because you haven’t lived with him for the last 25 years. I know he has a completely different viewpoint on the situation and I have no doubt that you have heard it. His complete denial of the real issues in our relationship has been the thing that has caused it to end.
There is no way I could ever relate to you the things that the boys and I have been through with (ex), and I wouldn’t even if I could. It just doesn’t matter; it is water under the bridge. Nothing is ever one person’s fault in a relationship; I made some bad choices of my own over the years, but I did the best I could to take care of our kids, the business, our home, and even (ex), although he probably thinks otherwise. I did much too good of a job of making things look ‘normal’ in our family. They have never even remotely been ‘normal’. At this point in my life, I simply cannot live the lie anymore. I have to have some peace, serenity and honesty. I cannot spend any more time trying to turn my marriage into something it never was and never would have been.
(ex) is not a bad person. I know he loves his family and I know he is very hurt over the divorce. I believe that he honestly thinks he has changed, and he honestly doesn’t understand why I won’t try to work things out. I am not trying to punish him, to get back at him for anything, or to make things hard on him. I offered to let him have the house, and I am not trying to take more than my fair share of any assets that we have. I am not trying to ‘take (11-year-old) away’ from him, as he is so fond of saying. The last thing I want is to keep (11-year-old) away from a father that is emotionally healthy and will nurture him the way a father should. But, for now at least, (ex) has proved unable to do that. I have a responsibility to protect (11-year-old) as best I can from any emotional/mental abuse and I fully intend to do that. (ex) has some serious emotional problems, and he needs help in knowing how to treat (11-year-old)-and (middle son) and (oldest son) for that matter. I know I can’t make him see that, but I can at least do what I can to protect our little boy. It is my prayer that by forcing him into counseling in order to see (11-year-old), he will somehow come to understand his problems, work on them, and become a whole and healthy man. I want that more than anything for our boys, and for (ex) himself. It is simply too late for our marriage, but I honestly wish him no ill will. I want what is best for him, I really do. I hope you can find it in your heart to believe that.
This is not a decision that I have reached lightly; it has cost me lots of pain and tears. I have counseled with our Pastor, and I have prayed and searched for God’s guidance. This is part of an email I received from (pastor) last week on the day of our mediation:
“I know you are against divorce and never wanted to be divorced. I feel the same way about divorce. But there is no day-by-day guidebook for life. I wish there was. And sometimes life turns out wholly different than we expected. It has for me and I know that it has for you. I only hope that none of us will point fingers at each other but as God does, extend mercy and kindness to one another. If anyone gives you a hard time at (our church), send them to me. Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.”
You have been through the pain of divorce yourself, so I know that you understand at least in part. I love you and the rest of the (ex’s) family and I hope that we can remain at least friends when this is all over.
Wishing you the most blessed Christmas,
Jen
Dear (SIL),
With the holidays coming up, I felt I should write to you and ‘clear the air’. I didn’t want Christmas to get here without somehow letting you know how I feel. I care very much about you, (BIL), (nephew), (MIL), and all the rest of the family that I have called my own for so many years. I am very sorry that things have turned out the way they have for (ex), for me, but most of all for our boys.
I know (ex) is your brother, I know you love him. I know that you probably don’t understand why I am divorcing him, and I wouldn’t expect you to because you haven’t lived with him for the last 25 years. I know he has a completely different viewpoint on the situation and I have no doubt that you have heard it. His complete denial of the real issues in our relationship has been the thing that has caused it to end.
There is no way I could ever relate to you the things that the boys and I have been through with (ex), and I wouldn’t even if I could. It just doesn’t matter; it is water under the bridge. Nothing is ever one person’s fault in a relationship; I made some bad choices of my own over the years, but I did the best I could to take care of our kids, the business, our home, and even (ex), although he probably thinks otherwise. I did much too good of a job of making things look ‘normal’ in our family. They have never even remotely been ‘normal’. At this point in my life, I simply cannot live the lie anymore. I have to have some peace, serenity and honesty. I cannot spend any more time trying to turn my marriage into something it never was and never would have been.
(ex) is not a bad person. I know he loves his family and I know he is very hurt over the divorce. I believe that he honestly thinks he has changed, and he honestly doesn’t understand why I won’t try to work things out. I am not trying to punish him, to get back at him for anything, or to make things hard on him. I offered to let him have the house, and I am not trying to take more than my fair share of any assets that we have. I am not trying to ‘take (11-year-old) away’ from him, as he is so fond of saying. The last thing I want is to keep (11-year-old) away from a father that is emotionally healthy and will nurture him the way a father should. But, for now at least, (ex) has proved unable to do that. I have a responsibility to protect (11-year-old) as best I can from any emotional/mental abuse and I fully intend to do that. (ex) has some serious emotional problems, and he needs help in knowing how to treat (11-year-old)-and (middle son) and (oldest son) for that matter. I know I can’t make him see that, but I can at least do what I can to protect our little boy. It is my prayer that by forcing him into counseling in order to see (11-year-old), he will somehow come to understand his problems, work on them, and become a whole and healthy man. I want that more than anything for our boys, and for (ex) himself. It is simply too late for our marriage, but I honestly wish him no ill will. I want what is best for him, I really do. I hope you can find it in your heart to believe that.
This is not a decision that I have reached lightly; it has cost me lots of pain and tears. I have counseled with our Pastor, and I have prayed and searched for God’s guidance. This is part of an email I received from (pastor) last week on the day of our mediation:
“I know you are against divorce and never wanted to be divorced. I feel the same way about divorce. But there is no day-by-day guidebook for life. I wish there was. And sometimes life turns out wholly different than we expected. It has for me and I know that it has for you. I only hope that none of us will point fingers at each other but as God does, extend mercy and kindness to one another. If anyone gives you a hard time at (our church), send them to me. Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.”
You have been through the pain of divorce yourself, so I know that you understand at least in part. I love you and the rest of the (ex’s) family and I hope that we can remain at least friends when this is all over.
Wishing you the most blessed Christmas,
Jen
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
That's a wonderful letter, Duet, filled with compassionate honesty.
Whether or not they like it is up to them. If I received that from someone in my family, I would appreciate it.
Hugs
Whether or not they like it is up to them. If I received that from someone in my family, I would appreciate it.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Well, tis the season again and since I have been so busy with staying home and hibernating from the world, I thought that I would catch you up on what has been happening to me and my loved ones. As some of you know my daughter has been busy learning lessons from the University of Life. She thought that would be a better way to learn than actually attending a qualified University. She has learned some very valuable lessons there. She now knows how to get money for free or the art of not answering the phone when the bill collectors call. If by mistake she does answer, she knows to tell them that the check is in the mail. She has also learned how to live well without electricity, water or heat. That, I am sure, will help her when she gets back into the real world. She has also been traveling a lot and checking out the cheaper motels in the area. Maybe someday that will translate into a job in travel. She has to keep moving because she does not want to wear out her welcome by staying for free for too long. Funny thing is that each time she moves she has less to weigh her down. Moving in the middle of the night does not leave a lot of time for packing. She is learning how not to be materialistic. Hard to be materialistic when all you have is the clothes on your back. But that too will serve her well someday. On to my husband. He lost his job a couple of months back but that too is a blessing in disguise. We are learning how to live on less and believe me we are becoming more frugal and grateful for the things that we do have. It also gives us the opportunity to find a new place to call home in the future. After all we have spent way too many years living in this place called home. Me, I am doing well. Learning my life lessons too. I am learning how to make idle chitchat when the daughter finds time to get in touch with me. It is amazing how many ways I can find to say the same thing. Also busy finding Christmas presents that are appropriate for someone who hasn't learned how to take care of the things she does have. So far, the presents consist of two bras since the ones she does have are a little grey due to the constant moves and inability to find a good laundromat close by. My mom always impressed upon me growing up to have good, clean underthings in case of an emergency trip to the hospital. I am passing that lesson on to my daughter. But hey, it saves me a few dollars and since we are economizing this year, it fits perfectly into our plans for a quiet, uneventful Christmas spent in our own loving company. Hope that you and yours have a lovely Christmas and remember, God never gives us more than we can handle. It just feels like it sometimes
Peace and Joy, Marle
Peace and Joy, Marle
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Dear Friends, and Family,
Just a wee little note to let you know what a wonderful year we have had this past year.
This is probably the first year both of the sons will be home for Christmas, we’re so proud and happy that they both are footloose and fancy free. And by free, I mean OUT of prison.
So, I’m hoping, our dinner this year doesn’t get interrupted, as in the past, by the police serving warrants when I’m trying to serve the mashed potatoes.
I did have a sort of conundrum trying to figure out what to buy them this year. Since the oldest son is building stuff, I bought him a hammer, so I sure hope there’s no bloodshed during unwrapping. The youngest son, who says he likes to cook, actually asked for a set of kitchen knives, so I’m beginning to feel that fear factor creep in.
Oldest son has been making extra money on the side by doing “tats” For those of you that don’t know, those are those colorful designs on peoples skins, that don’t wash off. Yep, he sure is turning out to be extremely talented. He’s had business cards done up, so I’ll be enclosing one, in case any of you are interested, you can just give him a call.
Merry Xmas, and Happy New Year…
Just a wee little note to let you know what a wonderful year we have had this past year.
This is probably the first year both of the sons will be home for Christmas, we’re so proud and happy that they both are footloose and fancy free. And by free, I mean OUT of prison.
So, I’m hoping, our dinner this year doesn’t get interrupted, as in the past, by the police serving warrants when I’m trying to serve the mashed potatoes.
I did have a sort of conundrum trying to figure out what to buy them this year. Since the oldest son is building stuff, I bought him a hammer, so I sure hope there’s no bloodshed during unwrapping. The youngest son, who says he likes to cook, actually asked for a set of kitchen knives, so I’m beginning to feel that fear factor creep in.
Oldest son has been making extra money on the side by doing “tats” For those of you that don’t know, those are those colorful designs on peoples skins, that don’t wash off. Yep, he sure is turning out to be extremely talented. He’s had business cards done up, so I’ll be enclosing one, in case any of you are interested, you can just give him a call.
Merry Xmas, and Happy New Year…
Last edited by mooselips; 12-08-2007 at 07:28 AM. Reason: Because I can
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Oldest son has been making extra money on the side by doing “tats” For those of you that don’t know, those are those colorful designs on peoples skins, that don’t wash off. Yep, he sure is turning out to be extremely talented. He’s had business cards done up, so I’ll be enclosing one, in case any of you are interested, you can just give him a call.
I'm getting my morning smiles here gang. Keep those cards and letters coming.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Moose, Does your son give discounts for Senior Citizens. Been thinking of getting one of those nice barbed wire arm tatoos. You know the ones that go along with the tough guy personna. Hugs and thanks for the laugh, Marle
A work in progress....
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
Originally Posted by Ann 
If I received that from someone in my family, I would appreciate it.
A work in progress....
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
Now for some fun....
Dear friends and family,
As we once again come to the most wonderful season of all, I wanted to catch everyone up on life here in Tennessee.
Our business-you know the one where you all used to come and get those wonderful 'family discounts'?-has gone bottom up. Of course, my dearest husband had no fault whatsoever in the demise of said business! He had better things to do than work, so how in the world could it have been his fault? It had to have been the fault of the rest of us who so badly mis-managed it all these years! I do wonder where in the world all that hunting equipment in my garage with price tags still on it came from, though. Perhaps Santa came very early this year! (Like in January?)
I will be putting our home on the real estate market after the first of the year. Poor, dear husband simply cannot afford to pay the mortgage since that would require him to actually work for a living and we all know that we just cannot ask that of him. It would just be too much for him to stand!
If anyone needs any landscaping or remodeling done, please do give him a call, though. He doesn't have a business and he isn't making any money but he would love to come and do massive amounts of work for you all at no charge whatsoever!
You can all come and visit me and the boys anytime you want to, over the river and through the woods at the Rockin' C. It isn't the palace that I took away from dear husband, but it's home!
Until next year, have a wonderful holiday!
Jen
Dear friends and family,
As we once again come to the most wonderful season of all, I wanted to catch everyone up on life here in Tennessee.
Our business-you know the one where you all used to come and get those wonderful 'family discounts'?-has gone bottom up. Of course, my dearest husband had no fault whatsoever in the demise of said business! He had better things to do than work, so how in the world could it have been his fault? It had to have been the fault of the rest of us who so badly mis-managed it all these years! I do wonder where in the world all that hunting equipment in my garage with price tags still on it came from, though. Perhaps Santa came very early this year! (Like in January?)
I will be putting our home on the real estate market after the first of the year. Poor, dear husband simply cannot afford to pay the mortgage since that would require him to actually work for a living and we all know that we just cannot ask that of him. It would just be too much for him to stand!
If anyone needs any landscaping or remodeling done, please do give him a call, though. He doesn't have a business and he isn't making any money but he would love to come and do massive amounts of work for you all at no charge whatsoever!
You can all come and visit me and the boys anytime you want to, over the river and through the woods at the Rockin' C. It isn't the palace that I took away from dear husband, but it's home!
Until next year, have a wonderful holiday!
Jen
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Oh! I want to play!
I should preface this with the fact that my when my Mom passed away, 19 years ago, her entire family acted as if we dropped off the face of the earth. so...
To my favorite Aunt as a child (from Mom’s side):
I hope this holiday update finds you well…or at least alive and kicking.
Its been so long hasn’t it? I believe since Mom left us. I think of her everyday.
Its too bad we haven’t kept in touch, but understandable given you all live 25 miles away. Distance really hinders doesn’t it?
We all are doing well, me and the three kids. Oh! You never met my youngest! He’ll be 19 soon, and such a nice young man. Someday you will have to visit and introduce yourself. He doesn’t believe I have Aunts and Uncles and the like. But that’s due to the other two telling him they’ve seen no proof I suppose. And of course the unanswered calls years ago.
Oldest is well. He tried a career in pharmaceuticals, but decided it wasn’t for him. He does dabble part time, however, when his job allows him. Seems his new career in road construction doesn’t look kindly on moon-lighting in such fields. But he makes what he needs and always covers his bar bill.
My daughter had a daughter! Yes, she was the baby when we last saw one another. But now she’s a mommy and doing well. The little one keeps her hopping, but she’s SO bright! Just last week she challenged her Mom and won when she called her an idiot. Oh that little one, always repeating her Pappy…my ex…the one you loved. Perhaps I should’ve paid more attention when you wagged your finger in my face and warned me that he was too good for me at Mom’s funeral. But alas, he moved on to another “good” woman.
I’ve done well, earned my way, own my own house. I know, I know, you are surprised to hear that given you were sure I would never amount to much. But a second hubby and divorce later, I’m on my own. Yes, he was a good one too…too bad I can’t keep them, huh?
I have a great education too! I’ve learned so many new terms like, codependency and awfulizing, and did you know that “No” IS a complete sentence?
Hope all is well and happy holiday
Love your long lost but always been here niece,
“That gal is headed for trouble” Cece
PS…bite me
I should preface this with the fact that my when my Mom passed away, 19 years ago, her entire family acted as if we dropped off the face of the earth. so...
To my favorite Aunt as a child (from Mom’s side):
I hope this holiday update finds you well…or at least alive and kicking.
Its been so long hasn’t it? I believe since Mom left us. I think of her everyday.
Its too bad we haven’t kept in touch, but understandable given you all live 25 miles away. Distance really hinders doesn’t it?
We all are doing well, me and the three kids. Oh! You never met my youngest! He’ll be 19 soon, and such a nice young man. Someday you will have to visit and introduce yourself. He doesn’t believe I have Aunts and Uncles and the like. But that’s due to the other two telling him they’ve seen no proof I suppose. And of course the unanswered calls years ago.
Oldest is well. He tried a career in pharmaceuticals, but decided it wasn’t for him. He does dabble part time, however, when his job allows him. Seems his new career in road construction doesn’t look kindly on moon-lighting in such fields. But he makes what he needs and always covers his bar bill.
My daughter had a daughter! Yes, she was the baby when we last saw one another. But now she’s a mommy and doing well. The little one keeps her hopping, but she’s SO bright! Just last week she challenged her Mom and won when she called her an idiot. Oh that little one, always repeating her Pappy…my ex…the one you loved. Perhaps I should’ve paid more attention when you wagged your finger in my face and warned me that he was too good for me at Mom’s funeral. But alas, he moved on to another “good” woman.
I’ve done well, earned my way, own my own house. I know, I know, you are surprised to hear that given you were sure I would never amount to much. But a second hubby and divorce later, I’m on my own. Yes, he was a good one too…too bad I can’t keep them, huh?
I have a great education too! I’ve learned so many new terms like, codependency and awfulizing, and did you know that “No” IS a complete sentence?
Hope all is well and happy holiday
Love your long lost but always been here niece,
“That gal is headed for trouble” Cece
PS…bite me
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