The Monster at Work
Power is not having to respond
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
The Monster at Work
Learning to deal with crazy people and not take anything they say or do personal takes practice. The rewards of getting to this point are worth more than any salary could pay.
I am getting way better at not allowing myself to be manipulated. People are noticing.
I have two crazies in my store. One is a supervisor under me, the other is a manager over me. Every day, sometimes every hour is a new drama.
If you are new to recovery, these two people would terrify the pants off you.
If you are NOT new to recovery, you could watch on the sideline, and bust a gut laughing at the absurdity of it all.
Today, the manager over me is having a temper tantrum. He demands that I find a place to put a very large table since there is no room for it in the back.
This is an expensive display table I use maybe 6 times a year.
I tell him that I have no room either.
He responds in a voice just a breath under a scream, FIND A PLACE FOR IT, OR IT JUST MIGHT GET BROKEN TO PIECES AND I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR IT!
He then proceeds to lift this table, drop it on the floor on it's side and drag it across the concrete floor, damaging the side of this table.
He does this to evoke a response of shock and anger from me!
I just looked at him in a very nonchalant and I could care less way, and said,
"Mike, you are the assistant manager, do what ever you wish with that table. If it gets broken, it gets broken! I will just put in a request to purchase a new one. They're only $400.00."
You could have heard a pin drop as I walked away.
I am getting way better at not allowing myself to be manipulated. People are noticing.
I have two crazies in my store. One is a supervisor under me, the other is a manager over me. Every day, sometimes every hour is a new drama.
If you are new to recovery, these two people would terrify the pants off you.
If you are NOT new to recovery, you could watch on the sideline, and bust a gut laughing at the absurdity of it all.
Today, the manager over me is having a temper tantrum. He demands that I find a place to put a very large table since there is no room for it in the back.
This is an expensive display table I use maybe 6 times a year.
I tell him that I have no room either.
He responds in a voice just a breath under a scream, FIND A PLACE FOR IT, OR IT JUST MIGHT GET BROKEN TO PIECES AND I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR IT!
He then proceeds to lift this table, drop it on the floor on it's side and drag it across the concrete floor, damaging the side of this table.
He does this to evoke a response of shock and anger from me!
I just looked at him in a very nonchalant and I could care less way, and said,
"Mike, you are the assistant manager, do what ever you wish with that table. If it gets broken, it gets broken! I will just put in a request to purchase a new one. They're only $400.00."
You could have heard a pin drop as I walked away.
Power is not having to respond
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
LOL, he does not give up. He will continue his path of terrorizing employees and bad mouthing the store manager behind his back. Of course he bad mouths everyone. He is one of those people who believes in stomping on others to make himself look good.
He is one of the best in the company at what he does too. Needless to say, his ego is the size of the state of Texas.
But, for me, he's just another sick soul, and I don't want to play his game or be part of his sickness.
He'll think of something else to try and get under my skin. I constantly have to be prepared for the next attack. It does get tiring. But, I am learning more and more it's all about how you respond to their sickness.
He is one of the best in the company at what he does too. Needless to say, his ego is the size of the state of Texas.
But, for me, he's just another sick soul, and I don't want to play his game or be part of his sickness.
He'll think of something else to try and get under my skin. I constantly have to be prepared for the next attack. It does get tiring. But, I am learning more and more it's all about how you respond to their sickness.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Under the Rainbow
Posts: 1,086
Sounds like someone still sits at the kids' table at Thanksgiving! How immature can you get? That was a priceless response on your part!
I, too, have a DramaQueen at my office. She cut her finger recently and went to get a bandage from the first aide kit. She walked back into the office and said "The first aide kit shouldn't be behind all those coolers!" in a tone of utter indignation that she should have to *gasp* move an empty cooler to get to the first aide kit for a paper cut bandage.
I responded, neutrally, that maybe she shouldn't put all the coolers in front of the first aide kit. She came unglued and started shrieking that she couldn't ship them back and it was the only place to store them.
(As back story, coolers are used to ship samples to me, and before we remodelled my work, they used to be kept in the office, where DramaQueen would eventually get sick of tripping over them and ship them back. When we did the remodel, and she decided to start putting the coolers where they currently accumulate, I was quite vehement that we should not change where the coolers were kept because once they entered my workspace where she couldn't see them, she'd forget and they'd just pile up until they became a fire/first aid/emergency evacuation hazard. I work with some very dangerous chemicals and safety is always a top priority in my line of work)
I thought it was funny to watch her try to justify why it was someone else's fault that she put coolers in front of the first aide kit (which is permanently mounted to the wall), and then, having not returned them to their owners in several months, couldn't get to the first aide kit - because, after all, her inconvenience could not *possibly* be caused by her own actions.
She was so mad at me, she didn't speak to me all day. This made me very happy
I, too, have a DramaQueen at my office. She cut her finger recently and went to get a bandage from the first aide kit. She walked back into the office and said "The first aide kit shouldn't be behind all those coolers!" in a tone of utter indignation that she should have to *gasp* move an empty cooler to get to the first aide kit for a paper cut bandage.
I responded, neutrally, that maybe she shouldn't put all the coolers in front of the first aide kit. She came unglued and started shrieking that she couldn't ship them back and it was the only place to store them.
(As back story, coolers are used to ship samples to me, and before we remodelled my work, they used to be kept in the office, where DramaQueen would eventually get sick of tripping over them and ship them back. When we did the remodel, and she decided to start putting the coolers where they currently accumulate, I was quite vehement that we should not change where the coolers were kept because once they entered my workspace where she couldn't see them, she'd forget and they'd just pile up until they became a fire/first aid/emergency evacuation hazard. I work with some very dangerous chemicals and safety is always a top priority in my line of work)
I thought it was funny to watch her try to justify why it was someone else's fault that she put coolers in front of the first aide kit (which is permanently mounted to the wall), and then, having not returned them to their owners in several months, couldn't get to the first aide kit - because, after all, her inconvenience could not *possibly* be caused by her own actions.
She was so mad at me, she didn't speak to me all day. This made me very happy
Power is not having to respond
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
It's really true Ginger. No matter what you show them or prove to them, they will NEVER admit guilt. It's pathetic. And, come to think of it, the other nut in my work sounds just like your coworker.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Under the Rainbow
Posts: 1,086
I suppose I should be thankful that I only have *one* and not two like you do 
It's probably evil of me in some way, but there are days when I enjoy poking her buttons because it means she'll refuse to speak to me for the rest of the day, and that makes my day so much more pleasant. I kind of feel like I'm taking a first grader's lunch money because it's so easy, but I justify it by telling myself how much more productive I can be when she's refusing to speak to me and I'm not having to deal with the *back of hand to forehead* drama!
It's probably evil of me in some way, but there are days when I enjoy poking her buttons because it means she'll refuse to speak to me for the rest of the day, and that makes my day so much more pleasant. I kind of feel like I'm taking a first grader's lunch money because it's so easy, but I justify it by telling myself how much more productive I can be when she's refusing to speak to me and I'm not having to deal with the *back of hand to forehead* drama!
Power is not having to respond
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
LOL, it's a perfect strategy, Ginger. After all, we are protecting ourselves from them. They look for their next victim. We show them that victim won't be us.
My drama queen is on the biggest head trip I have ever seen since she got promoted to supervisor. She berates everyone under her, and is teetering on calls to the hotline, from what I hear. I dont' want to get involved in other employees troubles with her, but as a manager, when they launch a formal complaint, I have no choice. The question becomes, "Is it against company policy".
So, is it against company policy to insist a 58 year old woman get a broom and get rid of the bird that had flown into the store?? (the ceilings are way high, and in some parts the ceiling is 2 stories high.)
Is it against policy to tell one of your workers, "I know you're having a bad day, but you really need to put on a smile", after this worker just told her his grand mother died today.
She takes pleasure in bullying others and exerting a perceived power. Oddly, she is a child genious. Organized, quick, capable. Therefore the manager coddles her.
Believe this: she got into every single employees PERSONEL FILE, and knows how much everyone in the store makes, including myself! She was nagging a new employee for their salary and that person placed a formal complaint. I went to the boss and complained myself too.
What did the boss do? Absolutely nothing but pat her on the head and apologize to her for causing her stress because someone complained about it!
What a completely dysfunctional workplace.
My drama queen is on the biggest head trip I have ever seen since she got promoted to supervisor. She berates everyone under her, and is teetering on calls to the hotline, from what I hear. I dont' want to get involved in other employees troubles with her, but as a manager, when they launch a formal complaint, I have no choice. The question becomes, "Is it against company policy".
So, is it against company policy to insist a 58 year old woman get a broom and get rid of the bird that had flown into the store?? (the ceilings are way high, and in some parts the ceiling is 2 stories high.)
Is it against policy to tell one of your workers, "I know you're having a bad day, but you really need to put on a smile", after this worker just told her his grand mother died today.
She takes pleasure in bullying others and exerting a perceived power. Oddly, she is a child genious. Organized, quick, capable. Therefore the manager coddles her.
Believe this: she got into every single employees PERSONEL FILE, and knows how much everyone in the store makes, including myself! She was nagging a new employee for their salary and that person placed a formal complaint. I went to the boss and complained myself too.
What did the boss do? Absolutely nothing but pat her on the head and apologize to her for causing her stress because someone complained about it!
What a completely dysfunctional workplace.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Under the Rainbow
Posts: 1,086
Oy, yup, she does sound like my DramaQueen, who has been asking in every non-direct way possible to get a 'title' so she could run around bragging and fluffing herself up. We did, for a short period, give her the job she wanted - of course she didn't actually *do* the job and when things started going wrong, became totally PO'd when the other higher-ups said "You wanted the job, you got the job, you wanted the title, you got the title, now do the job. When you're management, the buck stops with you. Either deal with it or we take the job back." Her way of dealing with it was to yell and be snarly at people, to the point that I have had to take every new employee we've had in the past 2 years and give them the cliff's notes version of how to deal with toxic people. She's classic.
The flip side is that all of them are learning how to deal with her and even if they move to a different job, they will always have some jerk in their lives they'll need to deal with, so the skill set is a good one to have. I let my underlings hide behind me by saying "Ginger said not to" and I'll back them up entirely, even if I never said it. DramaQueen is afraid of me I think I'll keep it that way.
The flip side is that all of them are learning how to deal with her and even if they move to a different job, they will always have some jerk in their lives they'll need to deal with, so the skill set is a good one to have. I let my underlings hide behind me by saying "Ginger said not to" and I'll back them up entirely, even if I never said it. DramaQueen is afraid of me
I think I'll keep it that way.
Power is not having to respond
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
I am finding this thread very theraputic! It does help to get it out. Hearing others talk about their experiences reminds me that any where we go to work, there are crazy people we have to deal with.
Progress Not Perfection
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: "Further up and further in!"---C.S. Lewis
Posts: 563
I am a SAHM, but I found this website because of issues with a relative and it really helped me.
The website is about adult/workplace bullies. Please check it out.
Hope it helps..
Love their mantra: Those who can, do.
Those who can't, bully.
www.bullyonline.org
The website is about adult/workplace bullies. Please check it out.
Hope it helps..
Love their mantra: Those who can, do.
Those who can't, bully.
www.bullyonline.org
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