FastSteve

Hi everyone,

This is really hard. I have been unhappy with my drinking for years but have, until now, never really wanted to admit it is a problem. But I have at last admitted that I cannot carry on drinking like I do. I stumbled upon this forum and thought I would take my first step and put a post on here, calling for help I suppose!

I drink in the evenings only, but drink almost every evening. In fact its pretty rare I have a night off the booze. For years I have drunk beer, in varying amounts. Sometimes 6 330ml bottles would be enough for while, sometimes double that. Recently I have found I drink red wine mostly. Between one and two 750ml bottles a night. I am so ashamed.

I am fed up going to work feeling like cr*p every day. Fed up with the way it makes me look. And fed up with the way I cannot do anything else in the evening other than drink. I want to stop so badly. I have been telling myself to stop for years but can never do it. I really need some help.

Over the years I have achieved a lot of things despite drinking too much - I love cycling and last year got really fit and won some road races. I raced motorcycles for a few years and won a championship. I have a good job. However, I really feel that if I carry on drinking it is going to start effecting my life - not to mention the damage to my body.

I am staying over at my girlfriend's place tonight. We usually have a bottle of wine each, but she has recently decided to cut down and probably wont have any, so neither will I. Then on Friday I am thinking about going to a local AA meeting. The only thing that puts me off AA is the religious aspect. Is AA very much about God? (I am in the UK by the way). I need to do something otherwise I'll just drink.

Anyway, thanks for listening everyone. I have no idea how my future is going to go, but I feel I have at least made a start by sharing this with you guys.

Thanks again

Steve

Rowan

Hey Steve! Welcome! I'll be right back. There is a thread that was posted here yesterday by a member that talks about AA - and it was produced in the UK and should allay your fears.

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org....r/videoh.shtml

parentrecovers

nice to meet you, faststeve. i hope you find the support and answers you are looking for here. good idea to go to an aa meeting! blessings, k

Astro

Hi Steve, welcome to SR, this is a great place and I'm glad you've joined us.

Almost three years ago I had the same fears about AA being a religious cult, and it took awhile to dispel those feelings. But I believe now that AA is about spirituality and a God of my understanding, not religion or anyone else's God.
My suggestion is to try a few meetings and then form your own opinion.

In 1989 I gave up motorcycling, knowing that if I continued to drink and ride I'd probably end up dead. 7 months ago I bought a new cruiser, there's nothing quite like riding clean and sober, I'm sure racing would be a thrill! Why don't you check out the Bikers In Recovery forum here when you have some time?

AA has given me a life that I only dreamed of having when I drank. Recovery has given me the chance to live the life I was intended to live.

Scott

Anna

Hi Steve,

Welcome!

I am glad you have decided to take care of yourself and stop drinking. You can do this and we are here to offer support and information. AA works for many people and you need not let the religious aspect put you off. And, there are other methods of recovery, as well. I hope your girlfriend offers your support, but if not, you can get through this anyways.

mike_mass

eWlcome!

TorontoGuy28

Steve - Glad to hear you made the choice & effort to stop drinking.

The only requirement of AA is a desire to stop drinking, and stayed stopped.

Don't compare yourself to others, but relate in what they have to say.

Keep posting man !

kelsh

Hi Steve,

WELCOME!

This is a good place to be for experience, strength, & hope to help you continue on with Sobriety. :ghug2

Keep coming back...read...post...just say Hi!!! :ghug

User_Name

Hi Steve, I too am a motorcycle roadracer (SV650's). What did you ride? I found what worked for me was AA, it's not religious and it was really the only thing that has worked thus far. I wish you luck! This site also helps a lot since there aren't meetings all the time.

CarolD

Hi Steve....
Welcome!

You might want to have an honest talk
with a doctor before stopping abruptly.
De toxing on your own can be dangerous
and it's really uncomfortable at best.

Be both safe and sober

FastSteve

Hey thanks everyone for your encouraging replies. It really does help enormously.

I went to my girlfriends last night and she had bought some wine which she'd already opened. We ended up having just 2 small glasses each with dinner and no more. Which I was quite pleased about. I wanted to talk to her about all this, and AA, but just couldn't find the right moment to bring it up. I will try & chat to her later when she finishes work. She is very caring and will totally support me - I am sure of that.

I have a day off work today as I have to take my son to a tooth specialist this afternoon so I am off out cycling this morning for a couple of hours. This evening I am still planning to go to the AA meeting. Thanks for all your comments about them.

User_Name - I used to race 600's (CBRs), then an Aprilia RSVR. My mate raced SV's for a bit.

CarolD - Appreciate that concern. I worry a bit about what all the drink has done to me. It took me a while to get to sleep last night, but I feel OK.

Thanks again everyone. I hope I can do this.

Steve

ccirider

Hi Steve:

Thanks for sharing. AA does not endorse any religion. And if you find somebody there, and you might, who wants to save your soul from hell, leave that person alone. Many religious people (I think more so in the US than in the UK) are out to save the souls of sinners in the same way that codependents are out to save members of their family from addiction. Your recovery needs to be more important to you than your own family. After all, if you are an addict or a codependent, then you are not going to be there for your family because you are not even there for yourself, right?

AA does speak about a "spiritual awakening" and I know that many people do have a problem with that because they are materialists/atheists. What AA calls a spiritual awakening, as far as I understand it, is nothing more than restoring emotional balance in our lives. Addiction and codependency reaks havoc on our emotions, and it may take quite some time in recovery to restore that emotional balance which we lost. The point is there are different ways to look at things in AA and because there is no central authority or dogma, you can do that easily. A higher power can be whatever you want it to be. It can even be the group if you want it to be. In fact, I have even heard some atheists say that their god is a "group of drunks". Welcome To SR and I hope that my post offered you some guidance.

Peace.

nolonger

Hi Steve,
sounds like you're making a great decision. The way you describe things sounds all too familiar to me - there were years when I was just about keeping my life together, with a job and sort of a life, but feeling stuck in the swamp of drinking every night. I would set three or four alarm clocks to wake me early to make sure I'd be the first into the small company where I worked - if I was the first one there, I couldn't have been out drinking half the night could I, and I would have my head in the computer, so I must be working hard, eh? I don't imagined it fooled anyone for long, but these are things I did.

That was the mornigns: in the evenings, I had a trail of bars I would visit on the way home, pick up a few cans from the off-license to top off when I got back. Didn't usually overdo it to the point of not being able to go to work, but I was - physically, spiritually, every which way - as sick as a dog most of the time.

It's just not worth living that way. People react differently to AA - some people feel like they're coming home when they go to a meeting, others find it's not for them in the short or long term. But in the first months of recovering out of an alcohol problem, it's absolutely one of the best places you can go. You'll meet people there who know what you've experienced, and who really, really want to help you get out of the situation you've wound up in.

peace,
nl.

iancal

Hi Fast Steve,

Just wondering if you have any update.. your situation is very similar to mine.

Thanks,
Ian