Being on the receiving end of an A's tirades
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Tollbooth,
I'm sorry you're feeling this tonight. I know too well how that feels. YOu only had a neon sign? I thought I had a tattoo.
I know nothing I say can help, but think about it maybe this way: Even if one-tenth of what she said was what she actually FELT......that didn't make it so. It was still only the tangled emotions of a deeply disturbed and self-centered personality, slapping a fright mask over your face so she could call you ugly.
Sometimes, friend, you just gotta consider the source. Let the memory of her voice be the sound of white laundry flapping on a line four houses down the block. It means nothing. Nothing.
I'm sorry you're feeling this tonight. I know too well how that feels. YOu only had a neon sign? I thought I had a tattoo.
I know nothing I say can help, but think about it maybe this way: Even if one-tenth of what she said was what she actually FELT......that didn't make it so. It was still only the tangled emotions of a deeply disturbed and self-centered personality, slapping a fright mask over your face so she could call you ugly.
Sometimes, friend, you just gotta consider the source. Let the memory of her voice be the sound of white laundry flapping on a line four houses down the block. It means nothing. Nothing.
Becoming a Butterfly
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
This is hard to talk about, but I quit drinking over a decade ago for lots of reasons, but one was that I was verbally abusive when I drank.
The things I said were true to me at the time - he was a scumbag, jerk, liar, ******, pansy and whatever other choice words I could generate. That's because when I was drunk I hated him. I also hated all other humans, God, animals, and most of all myself. Hate - it just eminated from me in waves and burned everyone who cared about me.
Then there was the next day. Boy was I sorry cause none of it was true anymore. He was my love, my prince, my sweetheart, and I didn't deserve him. The self-loathing I felt at having acted that way - it made me nearly suicidal, and that's no exaggeration.
A friend of mine told me about her alcoholic sister-in-law. She once saw her niece, only 8 or so, tell her mother, "Mommy, I don't like when you drink."
Her mother responded, "Shut the eff up, you little bitch!" Of course the mother was drunk at the time. How will she ever live with herself when she wakes up, I don't know. Is that little girl a bitch? Of course not. Her mother is sick, that's what's going on there.
It doesn't matter what is said, or why. What matters is that your gf abused you for reasons of her own that have little to do with anything outside her own skull. You were smart and saved yourself. You will make better choices next time around. You have gotten a hard lesson in life, and will learn from it - how not to be too much in love too soon, how to tell if you're really loved, that sort of thing. You are stronger for having suffered tears. Thank goodness you didn't marry her. You be singing some hardcore blues like those of us who weren't as smart as you are.
The things I said were true to me at the time - he was a scumbag, jerk, liar, ******, pansy and whatever other choice words I could generate. That's because when I was drunk I hated him. I also hated all other humans, God, animals, and most of all myself. Hate - it just eminated from me in waves and burned everyone who cared about me.
Then there was the next day. Boy was I sorry cause none of it was true anymore. He was my love, my prince, my sweetheart, and I didn't deserve him. The self-loathing I felt at having acted that way - it made me nearly suicidal, and that's no exaggeration.
A friend of mine told me about her alcoholic sister-in-law. She once saw her niece, only 8 or so, tell her mother, "Mommy, I don't like when you drink."
Her mother responded, "Shut the eff up, you little bitch!" Of course the mother was drunk at the time. How will she ever live with herself when she wakes up, I don't know. Is that little girl a bitch? Of course not. Her mother is sick, that's what's going on there.
It doesn't matter what is said, or why. What matters is that your gf abused you for reasons of her own that have little to do with anything outside her own skull. You were smart and saved yourself. You will make better choices next time around. You have gotten a hard lesson in life, and will learn from it - how not to be too much in love too soon, how to tell if you're really loved, that sort of thing. You are stronger for having suffered tears. Thank goodness you didn't marry her. You be singing some hardcore blues like those of us who weren't as smart as you are.
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