pissed at myself
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
pissed at myself
I thought I was doing it so well at turning it all over, letting go, trusting God...
But over the Thanksgiving weekend, I was right back to thinking she is dead, obsessing, fear, grief... Just minutes before leaving the house to go the police on sunday to report her missing, she called. "I'm so sorry I didn't call you mom...."
She had told me Wed night she was gonna leave her boyfriend of 4 months (the one who took her off the street and out of the abandoned building), has recently become abusive. When i asked her where she will go, she told me there was this much older guy (in his 50's. she's 19) who is a 'customer' of hers and who follows her from strip club to strip club "He says he's in love with me.", and that he would certainly let her stay at his place. She didn't listen to me, of course, when i told her he was little more than a perverted stalker. She promised to call me and let me know the minute she got there - and give me his name and address in case she met with foul play. Needless to say, she never called, but the abusive boyfriend called to ask me if I'd seen her. So, needless to say, i panicked. Why do I believe an active addict when they say they promise to do something?
So, I'm off to my first naranon meeting tonight. An hour away, but if I can find some more people to show me how to do this, it will be worth the drive.
But over the Thanksgiving weekend, I was right back to thinking she is dead, obsessing, fear, grief... Just minutes before leaving the house to go the police on sunday to report her missing, she called. "I'm so sorry I didn't call you mom...."
She had told me Wed night she was gonna leave her boyfriend of 4 months (the one who took her off the street and out of the abandoned building), has recently become abusive. When i asked her where she will go, she told me there was this much older guy (in his 50's. she's 19) who is a 'customer' of hers and who follows her from strip club to strip club "He says he's in love with me.", and that he would certainly let her stay at his place. She didn't listen to me, of course, when i told her he was little more than a perverted stalker. She promised to call me and let me know the minute she got there - and give me his name and address in case she met with foul play. Needless to say, she never called, but the abusive boyfriend called to ask me if I'd seen her. So, needless to say, i panicked. Why do I believe an active addict when they say they promise to do something?
So, I'm off to my first naranon meeting tonight. An hour away, but if I can find some more people to show me how to do this, it will be worth the drive.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i know you were really worried about her. it is hard to let go but when we finally realize they are going to do what they r going to do we learn. i am glad you are going to a meeting & glad she FINALLY called you. prayers for you & your daughter.hugs,
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