badhabits

I (problem) drink when alone. When bored. Only after all my work is done.
But it’s a problem.
I will consume plenty…A bottle or two of wine….a 12 pack of beer…more if I get an early start.
I do it to stop thinking.
I do it to relax.
But mostly because I’m bored.
Sorta stops me feeling so bored.
I never (or hardly-ever) have anything drink when I’m away from the house. In social situations I have plenty of control.
I don’t crave it in the true sense of the word. More, it’s a means to stop the boredom, relax, and stop my brain from going 100MPH. My spouse hates it.

SO…I don’t drink when she’s around. Only when I’m alone.
The volume is creeping up a notch (maybe?).

My problem, despite the fact that I know it isn’t healthy, my spouse hates it, and by every gauge or test I can find tells me it’s a problem….
In the end I shrug my shoulders: what’s the harm?
~this isn’t justification~ Just my mindset
1)Okay it’s not healthy, neither is eating high fat foods and not staying physcially fit.
2) My spouse hates it. That’s a biggie…but I also take into consideration that she has many habits I don’t care for. The difference, I don’t nag her about them.
3)Tests and measures….I can’t argue with facts. Yes I have a problem. Only this comment: for 1000s of years people have consumed alcohol?…and look at the muslims they don’t consume alcohol, I could make a very good case the world would be a safer place if they did!

Okay so there was a fair bit of justification in that. But I’m a logical guy.

I really need solid motivation to want to stop.


Any help

Rowan

Hi and welcome,

Well, here is an excerpt from a very good book which discusses alcoholism in great detail. See if you can identify with it.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

And - you mention that you drink not because you crave, but for other reasons. So -have you ever stopped drinking? Why not give it a try and see if it's 'boredom' or if it's a craving. My opinion - if you're questioning/rationalizing or justifying your alcohol consumption, you may have a problem.

Since I gave up drinking and prescription pills, I feel and look so much better. I have a wonderful relationship with my daughter and family. Life is SO much better without alcohol.

Keep posting!

Here is another link that asks you 20 questions about your drinking.
http://efap.torontopolice.on.ca/alcohol_test.html

Empty Cartridge

Many, many years ago, I went to the doctor for a regular check-up. Things went fine, but I mentioned to the doctor that my then-fiancee complained that I drank too much. I asked him "Is it too much?"

He said that my health was fine (at the time, not later).

I said "Then it's not too much?"

He said "Well, she complains about it. Do you love her?"

"Yes."

"Then it's too much."

If I had listened to him, I wouldn't be single today.

badhabits

Thank you for your response(s)

I don't deny that my drinking is a problem. Obviously it's not healthy (having read the excerpts).

Walking a line here of not trying to justifiy my behaviour but also being honest with myself... so bear with me as I'm not trying to waste my time or yours

There are 1001 high-risk behaviours that people can engage in...Some people do it for a thrill, some to be self-desctrucitve, some for entertainment, and some to relax.
In my case I drink to eliminate boredom.

Bear with me a little more...

If you do something, and you enjoy it why stop?
For the health reasons, for the better family relationship....etc etc..

A healthy unhappy non-drinker could get hit by a bus tomorrow and die...
vs
a moderatly healthy, Happy drinker getting hit by the same bus...

At least the drinker was happy.

Please understand, this is really my thought process. But part-and-parcel to all this is also the knowledge that maybe I should stop drinking.

To do so I need to convince myself. Also, I don't want to replace one addiction with another.

What is also daunting....having drank in this manner for the past 20 years, what do I do with myself to get rid of the boredom?

thanks for any help

Rowan

Well - I stopped drinking when it no longer was fun. I didn't stop for my health or for my family, I stopped because I was depressed and isolating and suicidal and I was blacking out and my behaviour was unpredictable and I lost all self respect.

The moderately healthy, happy drinker getting hit by a bus? They don't even fit into the equation, IMO, because they are 'happy' - happy drinkers don't come here. This has been my experience.

Yes, I was bored when I quit drinking. I no longer had to dodge creditors, explain to my boss why I was late again, explain to my ex why I couldn't take the kids. No more drama! I have made a host of sober friends, and I am busier than ever before. I have time and energy for my daughter and for my family. I walk my dogs and go to movies and have coffee with friends, and come here and share.

I'm glad you are asking questions.

Anna

You're right, that most of us do things sometimes that are not good for us. Using a cell phone while driving, driving without seatbelts and the list can go on and on. It all comes down to you and how you feel about yourself and your life.

If you're bored, take a look around your community and get out and do some volunteer work. Coach a team, help at a school, work at a homeless shelter - there are dozens of organizations in every community that can use help.

Empty Cartridge

Does drinking really cure your boredom? I can't imagine many things more boring than plopping down at the house and downing a twelve pack. And I did it for many years, and much of it started with me telling myself "Well, I've got nothing better to do." I even got to the point where I told myself that I was only drinking to get rid of my hangover!!!. Now that I don't drink, I am hardly ever bored, because a massive part of my time is not in seeking alcohol, drinking alcohol, and battling hangovers from alcohol.

There are always risks in life, but they are all calculated. If you get hit by a bus, you have made a conscious decision to take a risk of crossing the street, and have assessed that the risk is worth the action.

A regular twelve pack of beer is dangerous, period. It is putting a strain on your organs and brain, and breaks your body down. Malnutrition kicks in, you will see your eating and sleeping habits altered, and your body will be dependant upon booze.

Would you punch yourself in the face because it is inevitable that you will experience physcal pain at some point in your life?

I am a bit surprised at your casual approach to your spouse's objections. She isn't griping that you left your dirty socks on the floor. She is expressing a very real concern over your drinking. Hang around the board for a while, and you will see plenty of people who did not enter recovery until their spouse left them, they burned through all their money, or damaged themselves or other people through their alcohol problem.

Your posting here means that you recognize that this is an issue, whether you have convinced yourself of it or not. Your choices are pretty clear

1. You can quit drinking (with a physician's help and support of your friends and family)
2. Or you can degrade into continued or advanced drinking, and watch your life slip away. You might even be telling yourself that you won't let it advance. Problem is, you won't have a choice. Booze will take over, and you won't even know it happened.

Yes, for thousands of years, people have drunk alcohol. 90% of the population can drink without being an alcoholic. Then there's the other 10% of us that, for the equal number of thousands of years, have struggled (or died).