pgreer3708

Hi I am just over a month sober and I am having a hard time with something here at work. I was the drinker who never drank at work but couldn't wait to leave and get a drink! I had to drop something off to my boss one evening and I had been drinking a cpwprker told me last week she told quite a few people here at work I was drunk. I am not sure why this is bothering me so badly I was drinking and I need to let it go I am just having a hard time with it. Any suggestions this is crazy I think it is reality and I am having a hard time dealing with it! Thanks

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

HI,

Congrats on your sober time.

Maybe you could speak with your boss? Ask what she/he has been saying to others? That would make me upset as well. However, that's not YOU anymore. Along with letting go and letting God, you also have to be willing to do the next right thing..this includes cleaning up the messes that we made when we were drinking.

good luck.

Karen

Taking5

How long ago did this happen? Has anyone else mentioned it? Maybe the best thing to do is nothing.

Anna

I would speak to the boss.

What was her motivation for spreading that gossip? If she thought you were drunk, she should have spoken to you personally.

So, I think you should speak your feelings to your boss and then let it go.

SaTiT

you mean... drop it ?

For me at first i had a hard time understanding the god thing.
I went home and clean house thou. That's what they say
"clean house". F-it..I din't understand it, but those where the
directions. And it wAsn't a bad suggstion,the house as a big,
big mess anyway.

Then i had a light buld mement oneday as i was taking out the
trash to leave it for the trash man to take away. Beats the hell
out of me who the trash man is ????..but all I had to do was do my
part.

Beats the hell out of me what god is doing at this moment and
i don't really understand god. But I'll drop it anyway.
of course it feel uncomfortable at first...
The big ass mess i had in my house made me tired just looking
at it. i just started cleaning one coner at a time.
Kind of like me dealing with my issues one problem at a time.

I'm an alki i do stuff backward..sometimes my body has to go
first before my mind can catch up...like dragging my ass to a meeting
even when i don't want to. Same as cleaning house. i clean on the
outside so my brain can grasph the simplicity of it so i can clean house
on the inside of me.

or just focus doing what's in front of you and let everyone else worry
about there own BS...

A simple excersize I do. I walk on a plank or a crub.
I stretch my arms out to keep balance.
I put one foot in front of the other.
I breathe in , i breathe out.
I stay focus in the moment of just doing that.
I feel very at peace in that moment. i have no problems , no worries
in the moment.

barb dwyer

The hardest act of the Warrior ...
is to be still ...
and trust that Integrity of Character ...
will do the talking.
It's a freaking hard thing to do.
But I have never - NEVER ....
not have it pay off.

It is a wise thing to do.

You -
keep your head in recovery.
Your nose in the BB ... your hiney - in meetings.
Let those around you ...
do whatever it is ....
they do.

Put the palm of your hand on the end of your nose.
(oh. like anyone is looking - JUST DO IT)

now~

everything from the back of your hand .... out?
is probably everything you can do NOTHING about.

but ~

from the palm of your hand ... IN?

that ... you can probably DO something about.

Jomey

AWESOME POST, BARB! LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!! HUGS! j

Missymae737

Welcome to SR...

Lots of great advise here so I won't add anything but,

Keep posting...:morning

ccirider

What do you think is crazy and what do you think is reality? I am having a tough time understanding your last sentence.

pgreer3708

I think it is reality I was drinking and crazy I can't let it go.

Jersey Nonny

Early in recovery, I asked my sponsor the exact same thing. Her response, "Stop holding on." That goes for a resentment, relationship, negative feeling, etc. It was also suggested that I pray for a certain person who I felt was responsible for hurting my feelings. It worked...I was so busy praying, I didn't have time to feel miserable anymore.

When I had a brief relapse after four months in recovery, someone at work said, "I hear you fell off the wagon." I was terribly hurt, but realized people are bound to say insensitive things...I have no control over that. What I do have control over is my reaction. The best thing you can do is set a good example by your sober, calm demeanor.

gypsytears

It happened over a month ago. You said yourself you never drank at work so what's the difference if your co-worker saw you drunk after work hours? You are addressing your own problem now... let your co-workers worry about themselves. JMO.

Congrats on the month of sobritey .

Empty Cartridge

Barb's is great advice.

If you work in the corporate world, or a company of any reasonable size, they can't actually do anything to you based on the gossip of a co-worker. If you keep your trap shut, go on about your work, and stay sober, then the gossiper will pay a price, not you.

I used to be in the corporate world, and like you, did not drink at work. I got loaded every day after work...that's why I'm here.

My employees mentioned to my boss that they could smell booze on me, and that they could tell when I was hung over (if only they knew that I was hung over every day). Anyway, the company never took action because my work did not suffer...it was none of their business! My boss, on a personal aside, told me that he was concerned for me and my health, and that some day it would get me in trouble.

He probably would have been right if I had stayed with the company, and had not sought sobriety.

I'm babbling. But the bottom line is this: the boss might have heard the gossip and may pay attention to you more than you would like. However, as time goes by and he sees that the charge is unfounded, it will reflect very, very poorly on the gossiper, and it will bring unwanted attention upon them.

Good bosses despise gossip. And under no circumstances should you try to "cut it off at the pass" by approaching your boss. This will look like you are trying to cover up to save your hiney. If you are diligent in your work and pay the rumor no mind, then the boss will notice that you are a strong, confident person that lets their actions speak for themselves.

Congratulations on your sobriety, and keep us updated!

ccirider

Hi Pgreer:

May I suggest that the reason you can't let go is because you are having trouble facing it? Either you were drinking or you were not. What you said above, "I think it is reality I was drinking", indicates to me that you are having trouble facing the truth.

Having said that, the truth is not a sledgehammer that we hold over people's heads and anybody that does that to you is certainly not your friend. My advice to you is to forgive her. You are not forgiving her for her sake, but rather you are forgiving her for your own sake so that you can obtain serenity and move forward in your recovery. Forgiveness is the key to letting it go, my friend. Tell somebody who you can trust what happened and tell them that you forgive her for what she did. There is nothing new here, and I am not the first person to say this.

So what are you going to do after you forgive her? You are going to be extremely careful around her because anything you say or do can be and will be used against you like you were in a court of law. The lady is not your friend and obviously doesn't have your best interests at heart, so be careful around her. However, forgive her so you can move forward in your recovery. Best of luck to you my friend. That is the best advice I can give you.

Peace.