pepperpod

I am so grateful for this site...I have hovered more than you can imagine since my husband's death. If you have not read my other threads, he died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head on November 6th. I just want all of you to know that whether you are the Alcoholic, the caretaker, the lover, the friend, the golfing partner, a member of the family - whatever; this disease just keeps on hurting. Yes, it changed after his funeral, I have gone through thinking it was a mistake, he didn't mean to do it; the anger; the sadness; the grief; the feeling so sorry for my beloved husband who couldn't win the battle with his demons. Now I am in a deep grief process. I continue to put one foot in front of the other, and somehow am getting the business of being the "CEO of this mess" done. If you do not hear anything else I say, please know that this disease/illness just keeps on hurting after they are gone. You will not only grieve the loss of your loved one, you will grieve the loss of what might have been, what could have been/what should have been. Get help, get out, or do a whole lot of praying to your higher power. Thank you for all of the support - I will continue to hover for awhile if you don't mind.

Sadder than SAD
pepperpod

DesertEyes

Hello there pepper

Thank you for letting us know how you're doing, and that you are making progress moving thru the grief. You and your famliy are in our prayers every day. And yes, you go right ahead and hover as much as you want.

Mike

miss communicat

Dear Pepperpod

I am so sorry that you must face such a huge grief and sadness.

Please know that you are not alone and that you and your husband are in our prayers and on our hearts.

splendra

(((((pepperpod)))))

I am so sorry for your loss. You sound strong and willing to go thru the process of grief. I know it ain't easy. Prayers and (((((((BIGHUGS))))))) going out for you

ARealLady

((((((((((((((Pepper))))))))))))))

Reaching out across the miles to you.

Please hover here and please keep posting. Your insight is valued because you've experienced the effects of this disease from one more perspective and many of us are still learning.

ARL

wraybear

Pepper, so so sorry to hear of this tragedy. I hate this disease.
I will pray for you to have the strength to keep on keeping on and that you will
have the ability to embrace your grief and not run from it and praying that by embracing it, your grief will lesson each and every day.

I hope by hovering here, you will get some, even if it is just a little, comfort.

tanyapmc

Pepper. I am so very sorry for your loss. The trauma this disease puts people through is horrible.

AWEDA

Thinking of You:praying

Miss Pink

your words, pepper, have helped me today. thank you for that.

im so sory for your loss,and grief. lean into the pain...dont deny it, dont avoid it...feel it til its done. then u will recover.

blessings to you and your family

Barbara52

You have my prayers for continued healing. And your family too. ****{hugs}}}

Cindi R

I'm so sorry for your loss
****{big warm bear hugs}}}

CBrown

Pepper, I am and will be praying for you, for your family, for the Sober Recovery family, and for my XABF. Instead of thinking "why" and "what if" I'm going to let that go, and just say "God, it is in your hands and I pray for healing of the mind, body and spirit." I am so sorry for the grief you are going through. Please, please stay with us. We'll try to help you as you help us.

ccirider

Hi Pepperpod:

Words fail us at times like these. What can I say? Best of wishes to you and please keep us updated how you are doing.


Peace.

cmc

(((pepperpod)))
Many thoughts and prayers are coming your way. I'm glad you continue to be a part of our forum.
:praying

kglast

((((()))) please know that many thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief....

FormerDoormat

I know how you feel, PepperPod. My boyfriend of 25 years succumbed to alcoholism just five months ago. I know it takes a long time for the pain to ease, but I can honestly say that my pain has grown to monumental proportions over the months and I miss Richard more now than ever before. More than I could ever have imagined. Maybe it's because the holidays are upon us and this is my first Thanksgiving and Christmas without him. Maybe it's just all part of the grief process.

I dreamt about Richard last night. He was frail and thin, and he seemed so very old. I tried to kiss him and he turned his face away from me at the last second. Even in my dreams I can't seem to get one last kiss goodbye.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

deedee

(((pepperpod)))

Thinking of you and your family during this very sad time ... :praying

Ann

I am so sorry Pepperpot

My heart goes out to you along with my prayers of comfort and peace.

Just know we are here and we care.

Hugs

hopeangel

pepper, i'm so sorry for your loss. thanks for your post and reminding me not to take anything for granted. life is short for all of us. we must live it to it's fullest.

thank you and please, keep posting.

kimmyf1965

Pepper:

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I have also suffered a great loss this year. My 16 year old son passed away at the end of August with DMD.

I go through the motions daily. I wonder "what if" all the time. There's a reason for everything we go through on this earth. It's all part of the plan. Whether you believe in God or something else, I know that there is something special awaiting us all one day.

I cried as read through story because I'm going through the same feelings.

Know that I'm praying for you and your family!!