want2stopnow

What is wrong with me. I just don,t understand. Here I am feeling sorry for myself and totally embarrassed. I hate drinking but I can't stop. For some reason I think it's fun then I drink, act stupid and feel totally depressed. I just don't know what to do any more. I father died of alcholism when I was 12 years old. Do you think I learned. HELP!!! I've gone to AA meetings, I've gone to church, but it's not working for me. I don't know what do do.

Taking5

So what is not working about AA? Can you give any specifics where you are struggling?

want2stopnow

It's because of my other problem where I just don't trust people. My ex husband had so many affairs. It took me 2 children later and many affairs on his behalf including my so called friends that drove me to divorce. So I have a problem trusting people and connecting with people. I enjoy isolating myself I feel secure that way. It's terrible. I hate being this way. I married so young and had a terrible childhood.

Anna

I think what you might try doing, is taking a step out of the cycle and out of the negativity. If you make one positive change in your life, you will be surprised how much it will affect other parts of your life. Try to make one positive change in your life, starting today.

ccirider

Hi want2stopnow:

Welcome. You have a lot on your plate right now, so don't frustrate yourself by wanting too much too soon. Do you mind if I call you want2stop instead of want2stopnow? You will never be able to maintain sobriety until you address the undertow in your life that is carrying you out to sea without a life preserver.


Peace.

want2stopnow

You are absolutely right. I have WAY too much on my plate. I drink to numb myself. HELP!!! this is not healthy

Empty Cartridge

Amen to that.

There were many things that happened in my life, and relationships that I had, that were not good for me. I wondered for many years why I wasn't meeting better people, why I got into destructive relationships, why I wan't attractive to quality women.

Well...I was a DRUNK! No wonder!

"Why didn't I get that promotion?" I was hung over at work all the time, and I smelled of booze.
"Why do I always seem to meet depressed women or ones that don't better my life?" Because I was meeting women that enabled me to continue being an alcoholic, or were using me as an acceptance for them being an alcoholic.

In retrospect.....DUHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm on the recovery train, and I can see where it's going to lead me, and I feel great about it.

Go to your doctor, and tell him or her everything. Make a commitment, to yourself and to someone else, that you will recover. Not that you will "try," or you're going to "give it a chance." If you're not all in on the recovery, your chance of success is not very high.

With a visit to the doc, you will find that it is not as simple as just stopping. Most need medical assistance, a nutritional plan, and a support group to kick the booze for life.

Hope

You have taken a positive step in the right direction.

Hang on to hope and never give up.

CarolD

Here is a link to the book that convinced me to quit

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

I do hope you will find it helps you decide.