12 Steps
Recovering Codependant
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
12 Steps
I've been thinking about the twelve steps. I haven't yet attended an al anon meeting but wanted to try and work through these steps. When I have read through them however, I can't say that they immediately spoke to me. I have been at a loss of how 'to work through each step'. Most just seemed to be a statement I had to make to myself.
Well!!...
I am soo glad I stumbled over this (posted by Robin, taken from a sticky thread by Minnie). I read through this and I had one of those cold, shivery movements run through my insides, which I feel when I've just read something that hits me in the cranium.
I can see my mother in every one of these steps. Honestly, I can see myself in five straight away. On deeper reflection I bet this number will grow. I can think back perhaps 18 months ago to when I was so angry with the world, I felt its injustice deeply and couldn't understand how people could carry on day to day living with it, seemingly not bothered that these things were happening. I would tell anyone, they should act nicer, speak more politely, and feel a ball of fire in my stomach when someone irritated me. Interesting that this could be viewed from a codependancy angle.
Now I still feel great compassion for people but I am no longer a 'vigilanty' wanna be.
Lily xxxxxxxxxxx
Well!!...
I am soo glad I stumbled over this (posted by Robin, taken from a sticky thread by Minnie). I read through this and I had one of those cold, shivery movements run through my insides, which I feel when I've just read something that hits me in the cranium.
I can see my mother in every one of these steps. Honestly, I can see myself in five straight away. On deeper reflection I bet this number will grow. I can think back perhaps 18 months ago to when I was so angry with the world, I felt its injustice deeply and couldn't understand how people could carry on day to day living with it, seemingly not bothered that these things were happening. I would tell anyone, they should act nicer, speak more politely, and feel a ball of fire in my stomach when someone irritated me. Interesting that this could be viewed from a codependancy angle.
Now I still feel great compassion for people but I am no longer a 'vigilanty' wanna be.
Originally Posted by robina 
...It really makes you stop and think about the 12 step recovery process.
http://joy2meu.com/Twelve_Steps.html
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The Twelve Steps of Non-Recovery
author unknown
1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing, that we would manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us to.
2. Came to believe there was no power greater than ourselves and the rest of the world was insane.
3. Made a decision to have our loved ones and friends turn their will and their lives over to our care, even though they couldn't understand us.
4 Made a searching moral and immoral inventory of everyone we knew.
5. Admitted to the whole world the exact nature of everyone else's wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to make others straighten up and do right.
7. Demanded others to either shape up or ship out.
8 Made a list of all persons who had harmed us and became willing to go to any length to get even with them all.
9. Got direct revenge on such people whenever possible, except when to do so would cost us our lives, or at the very least a jail sentence.
10. Continued to take inventory of others, and when they were wrong promptly and repeatedly told them about it.
11. Sought through complaining and nagging to improve our relations with others as we couldn't understand them, asking only that they knuckle under and do it our way.
12. Having had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown as a result of these steps, we tried to blame it on others and to get sympathy and pity in all of our affairs.
--------------------------------------------------------
Robin
http://joy2meu.com/Twelve_Steps.html
-----------------------------------------------
The Twelve Steps of Non-Recovery
author unknown
1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing, that we would manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us to.
2. Came to believe there was no power greater than ourselves and the rest of the world was insane.
3. Made a decision to have our loved ones and friends turn their will and their lives over to our care, even though they couldn't understand us.
4 Made a searching moral and immoral inventory of everyone we knew.
5. Admitted to the whole world the exact nature of everyone else's wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to make others straighten up and do right.
7. Demanded others to either shape up or ship out.
8 Made a list of all persons who had harmed us and became willing to go to any length to get even with them all.
9. Got direct revenge on such people whenever possible, except when to do so would cost us our lives, or at the very least a jail sentence.
10. Continued to take inventory of others, and when they were wrong promptly and repeatedly told them about it.
11. Sought through complaining and nagging to improve our relations with others as we couldn't understand them, asking only that they knuckle under and do it our way.
12. Having had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown as a result of these steps, we tried to blame it on others and to get sympathy and pity in all of our affairs.
--------------------------------------------------------
Robin
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Lilyflower,
Those non-recovery steps perfectly describe the chaos of codependency.To tell you the truth I didn't need to read them because they were all too painfully familiar.
The 12 steps of recovery point the way to where I am going, and sometimes where I find myself now.
It's always good to learn of someone, like yourself who is drawn to recovery and can identify with the program.
I hope you will try some meetings because jmho, that is the best way to see how others work the steps.
Thank you for sharing.
Those non-recovery steps perfectly describe the chaos of codependency.To tell you the truth I didn't need to read them because they were all too painfully familiar.
The 12 steps of recovery point the way to where I am going, and sometimes where I find myself now.
It's always good to learn of someone, like yourself who is drawn to recovery and can identify with the program.
I hope you will try some meetings because jmho, that is the best way to see how others work the steps.
Thank you for sharing.
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