hi again
step by step
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: united kingdom
Posts: 45
hi again
i've visited this site before and found it really helpful, unfortunately i've been without my pc for a few months. i've had a really testing couple of months, one day i've been depressed the next anxious, i've had suicidal thoughts running through my head and haven't been able find any peace of mind, i'm seeing a psycologist on thursday, have been waiting for the appoinment for what seems like an eternity!!
when i was drinking my family (mum and two sisters) were always on my case to give up!! now i'm not (three years sober) they aren't around to nag or basically say anything. i haven't spoken to my sisters for nearly two years, speak to my mum when she can be arsed to get in touch, reason being i have only one mum. all through my drinking days i was constantly compared to my diseased father who was a former aLCOHOLIC (HE STAYED SOBER FOR FIVE YEARS BEFORE HE DIED, WHICH NEVER SEEMED A GREAT TRIUMPH IN MY FAMILYS EYES). i feel so much bitterness towards my family and i hate myself for feeling the way i do, i have always prided myself in my caring nature even when i was drinking, i cared about others, the one person i didn't care for was myself!! with xmas coming up i'm getting depressed thinking of them and getting myself wound up by the hatred i feel towards them. their harsh words from the past can be forgiven if they'd only realise they've been to blame for this falling out aswell as myself. i vowed to myself that this time (after many arguments before) that they'd have to come to me first this time, i'll be waiting for ever by the looks of things. just wish my father was here to help out!!
so sorry for ranting on i just need get things outta my mind!!
when i was drinking my family (mum and two sisters) were always on my case to give up!! now i'm not (three years sober) they aren't around to nag or basically say anything. i haven't spoken to my sisters for nearly two years, speak to my mum when she can be arsed to get in touch, reason being i have only one mum. all through my drinking days i was constantly compared to my diseased father who was a former aLCOHOLIC (HE STAYED SOBER FOR FIVE YEARS BEFORE HE DIED, WHICH NEVER SEEMED A GREAT TRIUMPH IN MY FAMILYS EYES). i feel so much bitterness towards my family and i hate myself for feeling the way i do, i have always prided myself in my caring nature even when i was drinking, i cared about others, the one person i didn't care for was myself!! with xmas coming up i'm getting depressed thinking of them and getting myself wound up by the hatred i feel towards them. their harsh words from the past can be forgiven if they'd only realise they've been to blame for this falling out aswell as myself. i vowed to myself that this time (after many arguments before) that they'd have to come to me first this time, i'll be waiting for ever by the looks of things. just wish my father was here to help out!!
so sorry for ranting on i just need get things outta my mind!!
step by step
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: united kingdom
Posts: 45
rusty, you're right!!
i just wish i could stop thinking of them, friends whom i've been close to have come and gone during my sober time and i don't spend much time at all dwelling over the loss of their friendship, real friends are there no matter what and the ones that have gone, well i guess they weren't true friends, hang on, i know they weren't true friends!!
i expected a bit more of a grown up attitude come from my family though, although theirs always been issues surrounding myself, my sisters and my mum.
thanx for your understanding though
cheers rusty
x
i just wish i could stop thinking of them, friends whom i've been close to have come and gone during my sober time and i don't spend much time at all dwelling over the loss of their friendship, real friends are there no matter what and the ones that have gone, well i guess they weren't true friends, hang on, i know they weren't true friends!!
i expected a bit more of a grown up attitude come from my family though, although theirs always been issues surrounding myself, my sisters and my mum.
thanx for your understanding though
cheers rusty
x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Des Plaines,IL
Posts: 187
Hi Rusty:
Congratulations on the sobriety. One topic that keeps coming up on the forum is serenity and how to get it. My suggestion to you is to find someone who can mentor you, someone who can clearly show you how to go from the insanity of addiction to the serenity of sobriety. Sobriety is one thing and the serenity of sobriety is something completely different.
Peace.
Congratulations on the sobriety. One topic that keeps coming up on the forum is serenity and how to get it. My suggestion to you is to find someone who can mentor you, someone who can clearly show you how to go from the insanity of addiction to the serenity of sobriety. Sobriety is one thing and the serenity of sobriety is something completely different.
Peace.
. You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family!
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