MATANE

My husband has just started counseling with a LADC, three sessions now.
He reached out to me the other day saying,. gee, if you did what I have been doing for the last 3 decades, I would have left you...you must really love me.
Shouldnt all this new found honesty be a good thing? .... felt like crap. Shouldnt I just be so happy he is as least talking to me after so many years or silence about his alcoholism.

Barbara52

There are no "shoulds" when it comes to what we feel. Our emotions are just that, our emotions.

How about you? Are you in counselling or going to AlAnon?

hadenoughnow

I've got an even better one, after one session of SA counseling he announces "the counselor says that I am not a bad person". Mind you I have never told my AH that he is a "bad person".

Recovery is a long process, I understand your frustration.

mamajama

I really don't think you can take to heart anything that your dh says at this point. The disease is probably still talking and will be for awhile.

And in the famous words of Tina Turner, what's love got to do with it? I mean, really? Many of us have stayed in destructive relationships because of love. But we all know that our bond with the alcoholic goes way beyond loving feelings. Alcoholism is family disease and everyone has their own recovery process. You will be feeling a lot of things during this process - just try to keep the focus on your own wellness. Hugs to you.