do you ever stop wondering?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: north carolina
Posts: 139
do you ever stop wondering?
my daughter has been home for three days now. and i must say it has been three good days. she is still in the i am sorry mode. which has usually lasted a week or two, then back to the same 'ole. i have gotten a glimpse of the kid i raised, she is still in there some where.
but everyday when i come home from work i wonder if she is going to be here. i gave her the house keys back, i had to because i usually work till 7 or 8 at night, and she gets out of school at 3:30 (by the way she hasn't skipped, well at least not that i know of)!(i will call monday to get her attendance record for the week)
friday when i came home she wasn't here, i freaked out!!! i called around, no one has seen her, nothing. I had literally picked up the phone to report her as a runaway AGAIN when she walked through he door...i immediately said Where Have You Been!!! she says to me mom, i've been doing laundry (we go the laundry facility at our apt. complex)...didn't you see the laundry basket was gone? i actually laughed! no dear i didn't look to see if the laundry basket was gone...not my first thought when MY KID isn't home!
so we've had a couple of good days...she still doesn't think she has a problem, ohhh, but by the way, she thinks her runaway friend really does, and she hopes she gets help! go figure. i am hoping she will go to a meeting mon. i know of a na meeting where there alot of young adults at~she can relate better to people her age...even though i am 37 she thinks i was born in the stone ages....cause "things are different now mom" lol
i know this battle isn't over. it is taking a break....i am waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me and her ....again...does that ever stop? or do you just shove it to the back of your head and enjoy the good day? how do explain to a 16 year old kid that pot is a drug too...and just because you don't snort it or shoot it, that doesn't make it dangerous. i plan on testing her tonight...all the other stuff should be out of her system now except for the pot. so we will see if she has been telling the truth about not using since the hospital incident (when i tried to have her committed). i haven't noticed any of the typical behaviors.
so, i am just trying to figure out....do i stop walking on eggshells today. and just enjoy the moment. or do i continue to over think her every move? i feel in my heart this isn't the end...experience has told me so....i just want it to be...so badly...i feel like her disease is eating me alive. ahhhhhhh....remember the good 'ole days when they we're little and all they wanted was their mommy. i miss that.
but everyday when i come home from work i wonder if she is going to be here. i gave her the house keys back, i had to because i usually work till 7 or 8 at night, and she gets out of school at 3:30 (by the way she hasn't skipped, well at least not that i know of)!(i will call monday to get her attendance record for the week)
friday when i came home she wasn't here, i freaked out!!! i called around, no one has seen her, nothing. I had literally picked up the phone to report her as a runaway AGAIN when she walked through he door...i immediately said Where Have You Been!!! she says to me mom, i've been doing laundry (we go the laundry facility at our apt. complex)...didn't you see the laundry basket was gone? i actually laughed! no dear i didn't look to see if the laundry basket was gone...not my first thought when MY KID isn't home!
so we've had a couple of good days...she still doesn't think she has a problem, ohhh, but by the way, she thinks her runaway friend really does, and she hopes she gets help! go figure. i am hoping she will go to a meeting mon. i know of a na meeting where there alot of young adults at~she can relate better to people her age...even though i am 37 she thinks i was born in the stone ages....cause "things are different now mom" lol
i know this battle isn't over. it is taking a break....i am waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me and her ....again...does that ever stop? or do you just shove it to the back of your head and enjoy the good day? how do explain to a 16 year old kid that pot is a drug too...and just because you don't snort it or shoot it, that doesn't make it dangerous. i plan on testing her tonight...all the other stuff should be out of her system now except for the pot. so we will see if she has been telling the truth about not using since the hospital incident (when i tried to have her committed). i haven't noticed any of the typical behaviors.
so, i am just trying to figure out....do i stop walking on eggshells today. and just enjoy the moment. or do i continue to over think her every move? i feel in my heart this isn't the end...experience has told me so....i just want it to be...so badly...i feel like her disease is eating me alive. ahhhhhhh....remember the good 'ole days when they we're little and all they wanted was their mommy. i miss that.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
this is a one day at a time program for you & her both. i hope she will go to the meetings.they help alot. are you going to meetings? you need to go also. work your program & you will learn to NOT walk on egg shells.you can not keep her clean & sober. it is all up to her.keep reading around here & keep posting. i am glad she is doing good but you know she has got to admit to herself & you too she has a problem before her recovery can really get started.we r here for you.prayers for you both.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
Daughter is still home...
I just read this post. Guess I am not awake yet. Had three grandsons for overnight and it was a busy day yesterday. They are 15...14...6...the six year old woke up first this morning and wrote on our ceramic tile floor with marking pens...did get most of it up with alcohol and paper towels.
We'll have his Mother help him finish cleaning it up when she gets home. Dad works twelve hour shifts at the mill starting this morning at six am and Mom went to her Civil Air Patrol conference out of town. She will be home by 5 pm tonight.
I went through my youngest daughter's 14 and 15 years with a lot of anger, grounding and observation...at her ball practices and games. She did not use drugs or alcohol but is a insulin dependent diabetic and would get in one of her moods & run away from home with this guy four years older than she was. I was consistant with my punishment...was sure it fit the crime...and didn't give up. It paid off in the long run.
He finally got arrested for abusing young girls and has been in prison a long time. He got out once and in two days was caught by the Sheriff's Office at the public swim area with a young girl so back to prison he went. :caveman
It took his going to prison for my daughter to completely understand what this dude was all about. He had her believing that I was a mean mom and that she should be in a Foster Home. Whoaaaa....this time she was picked up by the Sheriff's office due to the fact she had been gone three days without her insulin and proper food.
They called me and had me come up while they talked to her....and then they did recommend we have Family Counseling which we did...I was a Geriatric Mental Health Counseor and the counselor we had from DSHS worked at my office with me.
Very embarrassing in the beginning. It did help though.
Hope things even out with your daughter...unknowns are hard to work with. :comfort
kelsh
We'll have his Mother help him finish cleaning it up when she gets home. Dad works twelve hour shifts at the mill starting this morning at six am and Mom went to her Civil Air Patrol conference out of town. She will be home by 5 pm tonight.
I went through my youngest daughter's 14 and 15 years with a lot of anger, grounding and observation...at her ball practices and games. She did not use drugs or alcohol but is a insulin dependent diabetic and would get in one of her moods & run away from home with this guy four years older than she was. I was consistant with my punishment...was sure it fit the crime...and didn't give up. It paid off in the long run.
He finally got arrested for abusing young girls and has been in prison a long time. He got out once and in two days was caught by the Sheriff's Office at the public swim area with a young girl so back to prison he went. :caveman
It took his going to prison for my daughter to completely understand what this dude was all about. He had her believing that I was a mean mom and that she should be in a Foster Home. Whoaaaa....this time she was picked up by the Sheriff's office due to the fact she had been gone three days without her insulin and proper food.
They called me and had me come up while they talked to her....and then they did recommend we have Family Counseling which we did...I was a Geriatric Mental Health Counseor and the counselor we had from DSHS worked at my office with me.
Very embarrassing in the beginning. It did help though.
Hope things even out with your daughter...unknowns are hard to work with. :comfort
kelsh
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
It's hard not to have that waiting for the other shoe to drop feeling. The thing is though, all the worry doesn't change a thing since we can't control addiction. Your daughter is young and you are doing what you can but ultimately unless you are with her 24-7 (which of course would drive you both nuts) she will do what she will do. It takes lots of hard work to try to stay in the moment, plan but not project...I hope you will keep practicing...it's good for both of you! Hugs
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
eggshells? It will take TIME, which in my group stands for Things I Must Earn
I can step over some eggshells, but they are still there....
I can step over some eggshells, but they are still there....
Last edited by caileesnana; 11-18-2007 at 04:14 PM. Reason: wrong word!
Content with my past
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Cincinnati Ohio
Posts: 643
I know all about the eggshells, when my son lived with me and my husband and my 2 stepkids, I would give in to every little whim just to keep the peace. Now that I am sober and he doesn't live with me I have no eggshells. But I know exactly where you are coming from. Everytime I look at my son, I see that cute little boy that loved to cuddle up on the couch in the blanket and watch movies with his mom. I see that little boy that would go out and ride his bike and get all dirty and come in thirsty or with a boo boo and I miss that. God I miss that little boy.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
God I miss that little boy.
I have said that a million times. He is in there, he just has to want to come out of hell to the light. If we could fix it or want it for them, we would have long ago!
susan
:praying
I have said that a million times. He is in there, he just has to want to come out of hell to the light. If we could fix it or want it for them, we would have long ago!
susan
:praying
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