sobercuse

Hello SR Family, as some of you know my AS is in jail. He has been there since June and will most likely be there for 8 more months.

I visit him about once a month. Maybe I will visit him more often now that my work pass days have changed. My AS's daughter is 3 years old. He would like to see her. I am willing to take her there for a visit.

I will need to check with my grand daughters Aunt who has custody of her.
I am worrying about that she may say No, I can handle that.
But, what do you all think about taking a child to the jail?

Today I got a bit teary eyed after walking out from the visit. It's just sad that my son has gotten himself into this situation. I want him to see this beautiful child of his.

I grieve the loss of a great soul. But, this drug addiction and the lieing and stealing has been going on for ten years. We have had him in numerous rehabs and we have helped him get numerous second chances. There's nothing more that we can do but to be a power of example. And to love him unconditionally.

Thanks I will appreciate your feedback. My son melts my heart,

Nikki2003

I don't know if my opinion will help much since I am so new to this. But this is what I told my husband. That if he ever ends up doing jail time, be it a day or years I will not bring my children there to visit him. I will send pictures, letters from them and so on but I will not bring my children to that enviroment. His actions are what would have put him there. The children did nothing wrong so do not need to be there.

I don't know if this is wrong or right. it is just how I feel about it. I hope no one hates me for this opinion.
Nikki

TrishaV

I think this falls under personal preference. When my daughter was in jail she had requested that I bring her children to see her - their ages were 2 1/2 and infant. I explained to her that I didn't think they needed to be exposed to this type of place. I think if she was doing "hard" time (longer than a year or two) I may have felt different. I just told the oldest child that his mommy was working. 18 months is a long time to be away from his child...and...if it effects the child because she or he missing their father, I would say go for it. But, if he has never really been involved in the childs life, and the child doesn't express the need to see him..I think I would just let it be. Maybe it would make it easier if you sent your son photos of his baby??

1963comet

If she is only 3, I would take her to visit. Your son might just see what he is missing. And at that age I don't think that will hurt.

Now would be a good time to tell your son how you feel. He will have the time to think about what you say.

My son has been in and out of prison for the last 10 years. Please tell your son to not listen to all the convicts. My son learned some new bad behavior. But after spending all this time he is fed up with it.

Just trying to help.

hope213

sorry you have to go thru with this. i too have been going to jails & prisons for the pass 13 yrs. last time he was in i only went one time & he is waiting for trial to go again.the 1st time he was arrested i took my grandchildren to see him. they were 3 & 5 yrs old at that time. there mother was murdered (not by my son) while he was in there. the sheriff was nicer enough to take him to a room for us all to visit.he did that until he was sent to prison. none of my grandchildren (his children) have ever seen him in jail.prison is a little different. the times he was in a break room i took them, other than that i didn't.it is a hard thing for us to see & i think it would be harder on the kids. what would they think & what would u tell them,?by the way those babies are almost 16 & 18 now & he is still doing the same things.i do not plan on going to prison this time to see him. prayers for your son.& you too.

sobercuse

Thank you for your posts. I know that she misses him. She writes him pretend letters.
She just doesn't know why he is there. She can only understand a basic explanation.
Like, "Daddy is working here.".........Her Mama, my AS's AGF is at a shock camp.She will be there until next spring, if she makes it through the tough program.

It's a delicate situation. The holiday season inspire me to bring loved ones together.

I'll see and I'll let you know when I call the Aunt for permission.

hope213

please let us know....& if you do how it goes.

deedee

(((sobercuse)))

I agree it's a matter of personal preference. When my son was in jail the first time, I took my grandson (then 4) to see him once son was moved to the VOP section. It was in a separate building and pretty non-threatening. We only had to go thru a metal detector and the room we met in was the cafeteria. The second time my son did time, I didn't take gs to visit, but then I didn't visit myself. It was just where my head was at the time. I would say go with your gut.

hugs ~

deedee

greeteachday

This is the only thing that I have experienced and I saw children there visiting their moms and it warmed my heart. I don't know what other environments may be like, but from what I saw, in this type of situation, both the little ones and the parent benefited from the visit.
Hugs going out to you...I know it must hurt your heart to try so hard to help your son and have the pattern repeat over and over. I'm praying that this time he will see that he has the power to choose recovery.

Wascally Wabbit

I have taken my grandbaby to see her father since she was born. He only got to see her behind glass untill a month ago. He got to hold her for the first time. It was a Kodak moment for sure and everyone in the room was happy for him.

Spiritual Seeker

Sorry for your grief...I can't imagine my son being in jail. However, there must be some comfort knowing he is safe, fed and hopefully getting a lesson he wasn't able to get another way.If they have a visiting area it doesn't seem that cognitively the 3 yr. old baby would know that she's at a prison.

THE KING

the feeling I get from your post is that your son is a good person that loves his child, do not deny him the chance to see his child