Heroin

Old 11-16-2007, 04:17 PM
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Heroin

What are the real signs that someone is high on heroin? I've read all the government info but I'd like to hear from real people about their experiences. My husband says he quit but I've just not buying it but because I don't know that I've ever seen him high on heroin, I don't know if I'm missing it. Some insight? Thanks!
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Old 11-16-2007, 04:21 PM
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What I noticed was forgetfulness, very soft spoken and "nodding," with half-closed eyes, eyes almost crossing when he tried to focus. That and dropping cigarettes and looking morose.
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Old 11-16-2007, 04:37 PM
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Pinpoint pupils and nodding. My daughter's voice would get kind of whiny and I would get an icky feeling when I was around her.
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Old 11-16-2007, 04:40 PM
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trust your instints but from what i know they nod of alot. if u think he is using he probley is. keep coming back.more will be along to help you. prayers, hope
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Old 11-16-2007, 04:44 PM
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Then he's high again. What do I do? He just will deny it, get mad and leave.
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Old 11-16-2007, 04:50 PM
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Originally Posted by DevastatedJP View Post
Then he's high again. What do I do? He just will deny it, get mad and leave.
As you said, there is just no point in asking an active addict if they are using, it never goes anyplace good.

You can't change him or what is, but you can find help for yourself. I don't recall if you go to meetings, but I know when I go through times like this, it always helps to go to lots of meetings and surround myself with support while I put the focus of my life back on me.

Hugs
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Old 11-16-2007, 04:59 PM
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(((((((Devastated))))))))


I'm Linda and the mom of a 26 yo addict son.
He doesn't work a recovery program, has never been to rehab, and doesn't attend 12 step meetings. What stopped him from shooting heroin into his veins?
Me pressing charges 2 years ago for robbing my house and him spending 6 months in the county prison. He still smokes pot and did drink alot when he first got out, but I learned 3 things....
1. I didn't cause it
2. I can't control it
3. I can't cure it.
I love my son and we talk daily. I thank God daily that he's not using the drug he use to use, but I CAN'T live in the same house with him. lol
No way.
I'm sorry for your pain, sweetie. I truly am. Do you have children with this man?
Where do you want to be in 5 years? He!!, make it 1. What do you want to be doing in a year?
I drove myself crazy with my son. The only thing that saved me was soberrecovery and going to alanon meetings. I learned to stop focusing on him, his disease of addiction, and how not, to enable his addiction.
I learned to step back, focus on me, and give my son over to my HP, which, I believe, to be God.
Now, my son is doing alot better. He's in a relationship with a mature, older, and non addicted woman, who keeps him wanting to stay clean.
I don't ask for more than that, anymore. Life on life's terms and one day at a time.
It's all I can do.
So....
You need to start by taking baby steps to ensure these things in your life.
If you love him, stay. Be prepared by reading here, attending meetings, and read literature about addiction, recovery, codependency, ect., and keep coming back.
This is a great place to share, get support, prayers, and hugs.
A new sr buddy,
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Old 11-16-2007, 05:17 PM
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i would also like to mention to you other signs that my daughter has even if she wasn't high at the time.
~very red around the nose...(she snorts more than she shoots)
~low self-esteem
~lose of appetite
~sleeps alot
~the pupil thing is a dead give away, by the way

hope these things help you...good for you for being perceptive enough to "see" it.
i didn't. i made excuses for all the definate "signs" of an addict. but i am a mom, & moms never want their kids to be addicts.

good luck to you
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Old 11-16-2007, 05:35 PM
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Thank you

Yes, I have a 15 mo. old with him. He's nodding right now with a ciggerette in his hand. I sleep with my purse and a fire extinguisher next to my bed in case he does more than burn up the carpet.

Why don't I have a right to confront him and expect more. I don't have to live this way. How do you just ignore it? Why, since we've gone through this before (I didn't know he was doing it, I caught him getting ready to melt it in a spoon) does he beleive he has a right to be high around the kids, in our house and right under my nose?

I'm calling his best friend tomorrow and I'm calling the guy he's getting it from and I'm going to tell him (and this is the truth) that I busted him last time, got the envelope out of the trash and took it to my best friend who is a district attorney and she and one of her friends on vice tested it. Of course it was positive so I'm going tell him I'm going to have him busted if he ever sells to my husband again. I know it's not smart but I have to follow through and make it difficult. I can't endorse it or ignore it.
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Old 11-16-2007, 05:41 PM
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i don't know about the drug dealers in your area~but the ones in mine dont take to kindly to getting busted...i don't know that i would be calling and giving them a heads up what i was about to do!! you can still turn them and i think you should, but not by putting yourself in danger...S
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Old 11-16-2007, 05:47 PM
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I agree with SJR - be very careful!
When my ah was sober, he told me that he was the one that went to the dealer, so
you can be angry with the dealer, but remember it was your husband that went to him. I don't know if he was telling me that because I threatened to make an anonymous call and turn the guys butt in and he didn't want to loose the connection for the future - which he did....
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Old 11-16-2007, 06:12 PM
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Unfortunately the addict will always be able to find a dealer, even if you locked this one up he'd just find another source...

I'm sorry you are dealing with this, it is so hard. Try to protect yourself and your child. Take time to decide if YOU think it is ok or if you can put up with him being high under your nose or around your child or in your house. Because ultimatums won't stop him...the only thing you can really honestly change is you.

hugs..
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Old 11-16-2007, 06:23 PM
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Dev,

I had a dealer call my house once. My son was staying with us at the time.
He'd just gotten out of jail and was on house arrest.
The guy pretended to be a concerned friend who just wanted to tell my son to keep his nose clean. Not!
He was letting my son know that his drugs would be in my mailbox tomorrow.
The next day my son told me he owed someone money and if he didn't pay the guy, the guy knew where we lived and he was gonna burn my house down.
Threat or not, I gave him 80.00
Then I called the probation officer and told him to come and get my son because he'd used drugs and broke probation.
They came the next morning and arrested him.
Which caused my son to have to stay in jail for 6 months.
My point...go to the source.
The source is the user.
Stay out of it or put him out. Those seem to be your options.
I'm sorry to be so blunt. I just hate to see you driving yourself crazy when you can't change anything. If he wants to use, he's gonna use.
You need to take care of yourself and your child.
I'm sorry for your pain.
:praying
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Old 11-16-2007, 06:57 PM
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In the past I have called the numbers on my daughter's phone that I knew were dealers and told them to stop selling her drugs or I would give the numbers to our local narcotics force. All it did was drive me crazy and did not affect her drug supply in the least. She lives with her addict boyfriend and he buys the drugs. So short of bumping him off and cutting off her supply that way, the only thing left for me to do was go down with her or get myself better. I chose the latter because when all is said and done it is the only thing that we who love addicts can do. Don't put yourself in danger. There are hundreds of dealers out there and if your husband wants to use he can always find someone who is more than willing to supply. Take care of you and your child. Your child needs you. Hugs, Marle
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Old 11-16-2007, 07:03 PM
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If your husband's dealer is busted, your husband will simply find another dealer.

And in the meantime, you AND your child might get very badly hurt.

For nothing.

You DON'T have to ignore his use. That's not what anyone here is saying. Is that what you're hearing?

And...rights? None of us has rights when it comes to addiction. It is a wanton killer and destroyer of families and lives. Allowing someone who actively uses heroin to live under the same roof with you and your child is opening you up to a world of trouble (including having your child taken away) ....and blaming his dealer won't improve things one bit.

I'm sorry to sound so harsh, but the harsh reality is that your only protection will be setting boundaries in your own home, and sticking to them. You are a prisoner in your own life, and I hurt for you. Heroin stole my sister from me and I know how futile it is to get angry and posture and flail around blaming everyone but the one who deserves the blame -- your husband.

Protect yourself. And if you won't do that, protect your child.
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Old 11-17-2007, 12:02 AM
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Devastated, dope dealers are not nice people. It would be insane to tell them that you turned them in to your friend the District Attorney. IMO that is just about as dangerous as using the drugs. Although I can understand being angry with them.
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Old 11-17-2007, 04:17 AM
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My 68 year old mother thought she would go to her granddaughters dealer and knock on his door , she told him she would be calling the police on him also . There must have been an angel with her that night . I didn't know this was going on or I would have let the air out of her tires LOL !! She was lucky that he was a "nice" dealer ?? NOBODY is holding that pipe / needle whatever gadget they need to get high , other than them ! Don't put yourself in danger by going after the dealer . More than likely they are not nice people. Think about your baby , if anything happens to you who would care for the child ? The addict father ?? sorry to sound kinda harsh but please , please don't risk your safety .
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Old 11-17-2007, 12:16 PM
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What are the real signs that someone is high on heroin?
Nodding out, scratching, animated one second....drifting the next, smoking HEAVY, pinned eyes, eating and drinking EVERYTHING with sugar - hope that helps

Now about calling the dealer... THAT IS A VERY DANGEROUS IDEA - (Not all dealers are the "main man" - they are the little guppies in the pond and they answer to a bigger fish who take threats very seriously) and if the bigger fish get a hint that someone has threatened to drop a dime = call the cops .. things can get really ugly and (usually they want the person silenced if you get my drift OR something might happen to your husband (bad dope), some sort of accident .. but first and foremost you don't want to jeopardize your safety and ESPECIALLY your children's. (also you need to take into consideration if you make a threat now - and lets say a few months down the road a bust takes place) because you made u make a threat in their mind YOU STICK OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB

And the reality is this YOUR HUSBAND IS A GROWN MAN - No one is holding a gun to his head saying come buy dope from me - he is choosing to because HE IS AN ADDICT - if his connection gets busted he'll just find a replacement. The dealer isn't the problem - the addiction is .. and you can take the dealer out of the picture, but until your husband confronts his addiction and 'deals' with it ... the problem is still going to be there. Drugs are everywhere - and as long as he is active in his addiction where ever he goes .. there he is and you can bet his companion (addiction) is right there with him.

The best thing you could do for your husband is to educate yourself .. learn all that you can about his drug addiction ... learn all that you can about what it does to a person what behaviors it cause .. learn all about enabling, codependency and detachment - apply what you've learned to your life ... He's gonna do what he's gonna do no matter what and there isn't anything you can do to stop him ... He has an addiction .. it is his and it belongs solely to him .. he is the only one that can stop it (the battle belongs to him) if he isn't ready or doesn't want to then he will continue to use REGARDLESS .. You didn't cause it .. you can't control it nor cure it .. there is nothing you can do to stop it .. but you can take all the engery that you would be using to try and fight his battle .. put it into taking care you and your kids ... Let go and let God take care of him.

Easier said then done, but possible .. Stick around here .. You're in good hands

******{Hugs}}}}
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Old 11-17-2007, 03:09 PM
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He was eating all the Halloween candy last night!!! All of it and drinking like a fish. I had a hair appt. this morning so I took his truck (mine has the baby seat in it so that was my excuse since I left the baby) and I found two syringes in the compartment where the tire jack goes. I took them out and took them to my office at work where i have all the other stuff I've found on (in case of a custody battle I'm preparing myself). He knows I have them but has said nothing. He knows I called his best friend (a minister and told him cause the friend call him and asked him - of course, he denied it) but he's been very pleasant today. Now he's been gone filling the cars up with gas so I don't know how he's going to be when he comes back. I also found a bottle of Oxycodone in his car, the capsules, so he can shoot up those too. I took half of them and stashed them. I swear, I'm calling his doctor's on Monday and putting the word out that he's abusing and should be monitored more carefully. I'm ready to really F*&( his world cause that's what he's done to me. Ya'll have been great. I love coming back to check to see if there's anything new. Oh yeah, when I made him come to bed at 3:30 this morning cause I was worried he'd burn down the house, he called me a sick bitch. How nice......I'm sick? What?
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Old 11-17-2007, 04:58 PM
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You are still leaving your baby in his care?

I'm sorry. I'm out of words.
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