mooselips

Hi all,
You know when you get that icky "somethings not right" kind of feeling?

Well, things have really, and truly been going in the right direction for our 34 year old AS, he just found out he got a full time job...with BENEFITS, no less!

But, I noticed he hasn't been calling too much, and last time I talked to him, he sounded down and out, and my "using" antennas went into overtime. Try as I may to let it go, it kind of just lurked in the back of my head, along with everything else going on right now.

Well this evening younger son spilled the beans accidentally, and said his brother relapsed.

Well, low and behold the phone rings and its older relapsed son, and he said he was leaving on Monday to go to California to begin his new job, and the company will fly him back for Xmas, but he won't be here for Thanksgiving.

Well, I said to him...the last time I talked with you, you sounded kind of down and out, and he said...well mom, that's cause I relapsed. I didn't want to tell you, I knew you'd be disappointed, but yes, I did, 2 weeks ago, and since that happened, I have been to a meeting every night. (Surprised me, since neither son actually likes to go to meetings.)

We had a long discussion about having tools in your toolbox you can use, and he said, you know mom, this is my life. I use, I have NO life.

I'm praying this job goes well for him, and it helps his self esteem, I think it's hard to start over again, and again... I'm also praying his court case slowly just goes away.

Hugs to all...

rayofsunshine

Hugs and Prayers, Moose. Maybe just maybe this relapse has given him the strength and determination to work towards a better life.

bookmiser

((((((Diane)))))))

Man! Do I know about that gut wretching feelin'.
It stinks. It's hard to keep from doing it, when you want to believe so badly that your dead wrong and then...
But...
He admitted it, went to meetings because of it, and plans on moving on with the job and hopefully that will help him keep his mind off of it and more on recovery.
I pray that for him, sweetie, and for you, too.
Just remember, he said, "if I use, I have no life".
He knows what it takes.
Hugs, prayers for strength, and support.
Love ya, Moosie. Try not to worry.

Lovestoomuch

Sending some hugs and prayers ((Moose))

mjpaao

(((Moose)))
Yep, he relapsed...but, he told you about it. I think his statement about having no life is a very strong one. As a recovering alcoholic, I also relapsed about 3 months into my recovery, drank for about another month, never felt worse in my life. Some say relapse is part of recovery, I'm not sure, but I do know it is a VERY strong learning experience, one that I do not care to repeat, and hopefully, neither will your son. My thoughts are with you Moose, wishing your family the best.

Ann

I'm sorry he relapsed, but I have to say being honest about it and having gone to meetings each day shows a lot of recovery from where I sit. It doesn't make it better, but it isn't as "worse" as it could have been....does that make sense?

It's amazing how our "Co-dar" works so well, even when we wish it wouldn't. Maybe because our instinct had to scream at us for so many years before we would pay attention.

Your boys are always in my prayers, and so are you, Mr. Moose and sweet Mama Moose
(send her my love)

greeteachday

Keeping you all in my prayers Moose...your conversation with him sounds very positive...I really like how he is figuring this stuff out on his own...We aren't the only ones who take a step back for each two we take forward...but at least we eventually get there, and I believe your son will too.

A job with benefits...how awesome!! It really is. My daughter starts one tomorrow; I know the fact that they wanted her badly and her current employer (she was a temp and they were trying to get her permanent) said they were still going to call her if they could ever get the permanent position just in case she decided she was happier coming back, has been wonderful for rebuilding her self esteem. I hope this new start does the same for your son. Hugs

Lobo

I hate that gut feeling. Maybe it was best that he didn't tell you right away. He is handling it.

I wish him the best with his new job and getting back on the recovery horse.

sjr

i'm sorry you are going through this, i wish you and your son warm wishes and the best of luck....s

hope213

i am sorry this has happened. i know how much hope you had for your guys just like i had for my son. i hope this job helps your son focus on the job & he stays clean.we both know the ball is in their court & we can do nothing to make them stay clean. my prayers for you & mr. moose & both of your sons.big hugs,

caileesnana

sounds like he did the right thing--started back in meetings and didn't continue in the madness.
prayers for you and yours,
susan:praying

MsPINKAcres

((moose))

hate that he relapsed - gosh that is such a nasty word "relapse" - just typing it can make me have that blah in my stomach.

Glad he is working on the recovery again - that is an awesome sign.

So glad that you are doing such great job of detaching and taking care of yourself - you are a wonderful example of recovery,

And if ya'll figure out if we can turn off these "Co-dar"s that we seem to have built in us - please let me know - I think I'm ready to have my shut off!!! - lol

Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita

mooselips

Uh Oh...the back of my mind has this little uneasy feeling about this job he has.....

only because this is what I hear:

We're flying there
They fly me home for Xmas
No we're driving
Leaving on Monday
No leaving maybe Sat. or Sunday
No, we're leaving after Thanksgiving.

He hasn't asked for any money.

We told him this a.m. we needed phone numbers,
and names of where and who he'd be with.

Funny to have to do that when your son is 34.

EEEEK!

cece1960

Geez Moose...I hate that "co-dar" too.

I don't know, while NO ONE wants to experience a relapse, I do think it is sometimes a necessary part of that persons recovery.
And meetings? Well, you can't ask for a better plan, huh?

Sometimes when I get down about things going backwards, I have to remind myself how much forward has happened too.

I'll keep him in my prayers Moose

((((Hugs)))
Cece

cece1960

Out of your control Moose
Keep repeating...
Surrender Moosie, surrender Moosie, surrender Moosie...

I really do hope this is all part of what needs to occur

((((Hugs))))
Cece

Ann

Moose, I'd have a funny feeling about it too, vagueness was always a bad sign for me, but the thing is, it's all out of our hands. It will be what it will be, and we can just pray that it will be something good.

You may remember a year or more ago that I thought I saw my son on "Crimestoppers" as the "star of the show" so to speak, robbing a bank.

I remember thinking at the time, "when I said 'get a job' I didn't mean pull a BANK JOB!"

There are jobs and there are "jobs" and at least your son is talking about the kind of job where you actually earn money and get to work each day.

Prayers continue :praying

And Hugs too

mooselips

Thanks...back to step one for today....

(I KNOW I'm powerless, but sometimes ugly thoughts pop up in the back of my brain.....) shoo shoo shoo

MsPINKAcres

Thanks for sharing your e, s, & h -
Note to self - be specific the job requirement is a Legit job!!

I can just hear mine saying - but you said get a job - you didn't say it couldn't be illegal!

holdingouthope

Somewhere I read this analogy about relapse...

Imagine you are walking to the grocery store. If you slip and fall on the way, you don't go all the way back to your house and start the walk over, you get up, brush yourself off, and continue your walk to the store.

cmc

And....when you walk that way the next time you know better and avoid falling on your hind end.
:praying
Special Hugs & Prayers
****{Moosie}}} ****{Moosie's RAS}}}