Very angry, is my AH psycho?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 17
Very angry, is my AH psycho?
I've been riding a roller coaster of feelings and I'm angry right now. We did a succesful intervention and my AH is entering treatment tommorow night.
His last stunt was to pull a bender this past weekend and come home MOnday morning puking. He said "I am not throwing up bc I've been drinking, but bc I took the last of my pills (He had about 5 or 6 Lexapro left)." Practicing AL anon I said, if your suicidal call this crisis line and left the house with my baby. Of course I was worried sick about him and have been feeling lots of compassion. He just called and left a message. He is not yet in treatment but staying at a hotel with his interventionist until he goes. His message said, "I didn;t take those pills, I would never do that, I just didn't want you to know that I had drank." What is he lying about? It infuriates me. I need to focus on the fact that he is gone and that is good. Is he just trying to reel me in since I have been so detached as his one last hurrah before he goes into treatment.
IN the end, it doesn't matter cause I need to take care of me but it's hard not to wonder.
His last stunt was to pull a bender this past weekend and come home MOnday morning puking. He said "I am not throwing up bc I've been drinking, but bc I took the last of my pills (He had about 5 or 6 Lexapro left)." Practicing AL anon I said, if your suicidal call this crisis line and left the house with my baby. Of course I was worried sick about him and have been feeling lots of compassion. He just called and left a message. He is not yet in treatment but staying at a hotel with his interventionist until he goes. His message said, "I didn;t take those pills, I would never do that, I just didn't want you to know that I had drank." What is he lying about? It infuriates me. I need to focus on the fact that he is gone and that is good. Is he just trying to reel me in since I have been so detached as his one last hurrah before he goes into treatment.
IN the end, it doesn't matter cause I need to take care of me but it's hard not to wonder.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Even when you hold the facts in our face...for some reason we think that a lie will cover things over (or we sure hope it does)
The intent was never to hurt or harm, it was a last ditch effort to save myself from what I thought was impending doom. I was caught!
Once we start on the path of recovery... AA teaches, and we learn (if we work at it) that the truth is so much better then the lies of our past.
I could type all night long trying to explain why we do what we do... but you would never fully understand the nonsense that many of us alcoholics thought was common sense.
The intent was never to hurt or harm, it was a last ditch effort to save myself from what I thought was impending doom. I was caught!
Once we start on the path of recovery... AA teaches, and we learn (if we work at it) that the truth is so much better then the lies of our past.
I could type all night long trying to explain why we do what we do... but you would never fully understand the nonsense that many of us alcoholics thought was common sense.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
No...
an annalogy
the codi is actaully the psychopath. The psychopath acts and thinks
in ways that he/she deems him/herself rightouse..( victim, savore or not the sick one in the
relationship)
the alki is more of a socialpath . Soscialpath has a hard time comforming to society
or rules to point of where they don't really give a shiet. ( encapible of love or a lack
of compassion and don't care who they hurt)
in the end. no..it dosn't matter. codi/alki = unhealthy combination
The cycle of insanity (sickness) takes on a life of it's own, like a wild
fire gone out of control. The cycle has machanism that keeps
both partners in the cycle. Each partner now becomes a part of
the problem or cycle.
As in a hay bale fire. The fire is egnited due to compression from the inside.
The more water you pour on it, the more it will feed the fire and keep it hotter.
Contrary to conventional fires. Codi/alki dance is in such a manner
The only way to stop the fire is to let it burn itself out..
Stepping away and preventing further wreackage.
In a sense steping away from the alki.. not pouring more water or enabling.
Letting the fire burn itself out...allowing the alki to hit bottom.
an annalogy
the codi is actaully the psychopath. The psychopath acts and thinks
in ways that he/she deems him/herself rightouse..( victim, savore or not the sick one in the
relationship)
the alki is more of a socialpath . Soscialpath has a hard time comforming to society
or rules to point of where they don't really give a shiet. ( encapible of love or a lack
of compassion and don't care who they hurt)
in the end. no..it dosn't matter. codi/alki = unhealthy combination
The cycle of insanity (sickness) takes on a life of it's own, like a wild
fire gone out of control. The cycle has machanism that keeps
both partners in the cycle. Each partner now becomes a part of
the problem or cycle.
As in a hay bale fire. The fire is egnited due to compression from the inside.
The more water you pour on it, the more it will feed the fire and keep it hotter.
Contrary to conventional fires. Codi/alki dance is in such a manner
The only way to stop the fire is to let it burn itself out..
Stepping away and preventing further wreackage.
In a sense steping away from the alki.. not pouring more water or enabling.
Letting the fire burn itself out...allowing the alki to hit bottom.
Last edited by SaTiT; 11-14-2007 at 10:53 PM.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 61
I think it all depends how far your AH is in the disease. Your not the psycho your husband is - and don't let anyone else make you think that!
I could make a list a mile long of all the psychopathic and neurotic tendencies my EX AH had (he died 2 weeks ago). He was evaluated by a psychologist who specialized in alcoholic abuse and after I told him all that went on in our home and he met him himself - he told me to call a lawyer and get the hell out of that house for my own safety. He said he was displaying psychotic tendencies - yet he held down a job for the next few months and acted VERY normal as long as he was SOBER! They are masters at acting 'norma' and healthy - but they are very, very sick in the mind and in the body.
Based on my ex AH's physical health and ongoing bleeding esophageal varices - he must have been drinking for about 20+ years and he was only 41 when he died.
Like I said I could make a long list of very abnormal psycho behaviors that he displayed - even if you have ONE thing that you believe is not normal, it should be enough to force you out - if not for our sake for your babies. You will never change him but you can save your life and your babies.
What if he came home and instead of taking pills opted to light a candle, passed out and burned your house down? Or what if he opted to go sleep with your baby and smothered him/her? There are zillions of horror scenes you can imagine. The truth is ANYONE who drinks to that degree has no judgement, can't be trusted and will display unsafe, abnormal, potentially violent behavior. If someone says they aren't a mean or violent drunk - laugh and walk away. They can turn at the drop of a hat.
I hope you are able to move out as fast as I did. I knew I could not help him - he continued to bother me, I got a restraining order - and 2 years later he drank himself to death. Thank God he killed no one else. It is sad, and I pity him - but he lived a hellish life and hurt many around him - now he is out of pain, and can't hurt anyone else.
I could make a list a mile long of all the psychopathic and neurotic tendencies my EX AH had (he died 2 weeks ago). He was evaluated by a psychologist who specialized in alcoholic abuse and after I told him all that went on in our home and he met him himself - he told me to call a lawyer and get the hell out of that house for my own safety. He said he was displaying psychotic tendencies - yet he held down a job for the next few months and acted VERY normal as long as he was SOBER! They are masters at acting 'norma' and healthy - but they are very, very sick in the mind and in the body.
Based on my ex AH's physical health and ongoing bleeding esophageal varices - he must have been drinking for about 20+ years and he was only 41 when he died.
Like I said I could make a long list of very abnormal psycho behaviors that he displayed - even if you have ONE thing that you believe is not normal, it should be enough to force you out - if not for our sake for your babies. You will never change him but you can save your life and your babies.
What if he came home and instead of taking pills opted to light a candle, passed out and burned your house down? Or what if he opted to go sleep with your baby and smothered him/her? There are zillions of horror scenes you can imagine. The truth is ANYONE who drinks to that degree has no judgement, can't be trusted and will display unsafe, abnormal, potentially violent behavior. If someone says they aren't a mean or violent drunk - laugh and walk away. They can turn at the drop of a hat.
I hope you are able to move out as fast as I did. I knew I could not help him - he continued to bother me, I got a restraining order - and 2 years later he drank himself to death. Thank God he killed no one else. It is sad, and I pity him - but he lived a hellish life and hurt many around him - now he is out of pain, and can't hurt anyone else.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
