rawr_x

well tonight i was at my friends house, and my mom called me on my cell. so ofcourse i answered it and she tells me that i need to grab my brother and go home. so when i get home there goes my dad walking with his basket of clothes. yep. he left. he didnt even so goodbye. it hurts. and i guess my mom showed him my previous thread when i was saying that i didnt think my dad loved me or my or my family anymore. which totally infuriates me. he told me that he read it and he said you shouldnt care anywayz after that message you had on the computer. which made me terribly upset. so after that i left and went out by my kittens grave and called my bestfriend and explained what happened. she came and took me to her house where i have been for the past hour. so now my mom says shes taking me and my brother to iowa, which is killing me because i dont want to leave all my friends. if i didnt have some of my friends that i will be leaving, i wouldve probably gone psychotic by now. im very upset,angry with both of my parents, and hurt.

LaTeeDa

I feel so badly that this is all happening to you. It is good you are at your friend's. My husband and I separated two years ago because of his drinking and I know it hurt both my kids alot. That's the bad news. The good news is that sometimes out of all the bad things, good things happen. You never know what tomorrow will bring. Try to get some rest tonight and enjoy the company and support of your friend.

((((()))))

L

P.S. No matter what he says, none of this is your fault.

ARealLady

Rawr X...I don't know how old you are but I hope you have an adult close at hand with whom you can trust your feelings right now.

Maybe your mother thought it would help her situation in her role as a wife to share your post here with your father. Maybe she was trying to show him how much you care.

These forums are, however, for many (perhaps most) of the people who read and post, PRIVATE places where they are able to share the thoughts and events which have affected them through their involvement with addicts.

Nobody in my life knows that I post to this forum. If they suspect, they don't know my "screen-name" or my password to access this forum.

If you are a minor then it is understandable that your mother would want to know you are on this forum but it seems that, for some reason, your personal privacy has not been respected. I would be very upset too. Please do not be angry with your mother. She is trying, in the best way she can, to keep a home together for you and your brother. And sometimes adults do things with the best of intentions which end up producing results nobody expected.

Hope this helps a little bit.

ARL

Janitw

Sweetie....I know he has hurt you but he is only doing what addicts do. My XAH left me and the kids 8 times over the last 22 years and yes my children was effected. But you know what they hung tough and drew their own boundaries with him. And that was 2.5 years ago. They have not spoken to him in over 2.5 years now and they are both doing well. They have discovered that they no longer have to walk on egg shells and they like that.....follow your mothers lead she sounds like she's trying to do what is best for her family. Stay strong..

good_luck

Ugh. I'm sorry you are having such a horrible night. Your dad is acting like a baby. I'm glad that you are able to be at a friend's house. I also feel like I couldn't have gotten through a lot of things without my friends. If it makes you feel any better, I haven't lived in the same town as some of my best friends in a long time. I would say right now my three best friends live in New York, Oregon and Texas...and I'm in Ohio. We are still close, and they still help me with my problems.

I hope that tomorrow is better for you.

Barbara52

I am so sorry your mother shared your thread with your father without your permission. That was a violation of your trust and you have a right to be angry. If I were you I would talk with her and let her know how you feel. I would also listen to what she has to say. I think she is trying to do what is best for you and your brother.

I am so sorry your father left in a way that really hurt you. It may not help to hear this right now, but the pain will get less with time especially if you can talk to a counselor of some sort about the jumble of emotions you are going thru.

Keep posting dear. We are all here to listen and help each other.

denny57

I'm sorry you are hurting, raw. Keep talking to your friends and posting here when you can. ((()))

uncertainty

I am so sorry for your pain!!! I made my Ah leave last year. He did drink after he left and I could not allow him to have much time with the kids. I think that he finally realized what he was missing!!!! He has been sober now for over 100 days and is a better dad than he has ever been. His mind is getting clearer each day, and he is trying to make his relationship better with the kids.

I am sorry you feel like your mom broke your trust. To be honest with you, when I read that post about your dad, it made me cry. I wanted my AH to read it to see just how much his actions affect OUR children (they are only 7 and 3 so it is a little harder for them to express) Alcoholism is a terrible disease and when you love that person, you think that something, anything might trigger them to stop. Everytime I argued, begged and pleaded with my Ah, I always tried to mention the kids. I thought it would make a difference. That even if he didnt love me, I knew he loved the kids... Nothing I ever said would work, until he ws ready. I am sure for your mom to read your post broke her heart, I always felt so responsible for what my AH did to the kids, because I felt like it was my job to protect them and I had allowed him to do it.

Your dad did not mean what he said to you. I know it must have bothered him to read your post and the only way he knows how to react is anger. He is not ready to take responsibilities for his actions and it is easier to blame everyone else. If he admits it is him, then he has to admit he has a problem.

Keep your head up. I went to three different high schools by the time I was a Junior. Try to look at this as a new beginning, where your dad wont overshadow everything in your life. Your mom is hurting too. Try to understand that she doesnt want you to hurt. She read your post and realized how much pain you were in and knows she has to do something about it. What she was doing wasnt working so she probably feels like she needs to try something new.

Thank God for the internet!!! You will always have support here and you can keep in touch with all your friends. I will keep your family in my prayers!!!

keepingmyjoy

Awwww, I am so sorry for your hurt. Sometimes out of the worst situations comes a blessing. Sometimes we just can't see it yet, and I hope this will be the case. I will be praying for you and you will be in my thoughts. Hang in there.

Rella927

Rawr I'm so so you are going through this pain.

I would like to share that when I was growing up-I had an A father and 3 A brothers and my Mom was a binge drinker. I also had a step dad and step mom. All four of the parents acted like children-it was heart wrenching to see what they all were doing to themselves and I could not stand it! I kept myself busy with my horses, softball, friends anything and everything to stay out of the house! It took me many years to see what I was doing to myself-and thank my HP, Al-Anon and SR for helping me realize that I'm worth something-as I never thought I was! The resources available today are amazing!

I will however tell you this much I'm so very proud of you that you found this site! Things like this were not available to me when I was younger! Try to understand that your mom is doing what she is doing because she loves both of you very much-try and maybe sit down and talk to her about everything that is going on instead of feeling as if she is doing something wrong. Talk to her and ask her to open up to you and be there for her and support her as much as possilbe. Know that what your father is doing is not because of you or anyone else. It is about him and he is not aware what he is doing-(Read some more stickies)

I'm sending you many blessings-Hang in there be proud you came here and maybe try to find a ACoA meeting in your area-this could help you as well!