Got a question

Old 06-05-2003, 06:04 PM
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Got a question

Hey, I just have a quick question to put out there and see what y'alls take is on it.

My hubby chose on his own to quit drinking for 30 days (to see if his stomach felt better) and was successful. He was also very even kilter and pleasant to be around. (he also takes anxiety meds that he is NOT supposed to drink too) Anyway he decided last night that he would have a Bud Light instead of O'duls....mainly because it was in the fridge (has been for a month!) and he didn't want to drive to the store for O'duls. He had one.

Fast forward our son disobeyed (12 year old) and "upset" my hubby. He got VERY angry! Very unlike the "even" personality I have seen for the past month. Then this morning when I wouldn't scratch his arm he blew up......just like "old times". Cussed me and called me names......anyway my question is did the alcohol cause him to behave that way or were these behaviors surfacing and that is why he drank the beer? I have thought about it a lot.....he seems to be the even guy this evening and no beer. He only had ONE last night. I know that isn't good because generally it will lead to the same path, but I just wonder about the personality thing. Did he drink because he was feeling like an ass or did the one beer turn him into one?

Would love to hear any thought or insight. Sorry it took so long to lay out the back ground to ask a question.

Constant
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Old 06-05-2003, 06:20 PM
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JT
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Constant,

Could it have irritated him that there were not two in the fridge? I don't know if you smoke or not but I have quit on occasion and my reaction from one is wanting two...or put another way...another one. And another thing about my smoking analogy is if there is one cigarette anywhere in my house that I know about it calls to me. I find it, I smoke it and then they are all gone. I could become annoyed at that.

I don't think one beer made him an ass. He is thinking.

Make sense?
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Old 06-05-2003, 08:04 PM
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hiya

It is not him having a beer it is about him not having enough.................the way he behaves is "NORMAL" for an alcoholic. You haven't seen nothing yet I would imagine. The buttom line once again is that you should not be abused in any shape or form and neither should be your child. Maybe some research online, books will bring some more light into what you are going through now and in the future. Taking care of yourself and your child is what is important, forget about what he thinks or feels. When there are children involved it is your duty to protect them and at least one person should have sense enough to do that regardles to what is going on with your A. Our children are IMPORTANT! Good Luck!
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Old 06-06-2003, 05:47 AM
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JT

Ya I did smoke for 19 years, quit in 98 so I do know what you are talking about. I had to go cold turkey and change lots of other things to stick to it.

There has been a 12 pack in the fridge for weeks not just one beer. A buddy of his came by about a week into his 30 days and wanted to fish behind our house. My hubby went down with him and drank water while his friend had a few beers. He left the rest
(a least 8 or 9) in our fridge.

He seems to be back to the calm person that he has been for the past month, and he only had the one beer. He said he is feeling better now that he isn't drinking all the time. Won't commit to no more (except liquor) said he might want one or two every now and then. We will just take it one day at a time and I will refuse to be sucked into any of those bashing arguements with or without the drinking!

Thanks Prettywoman, I do think he is thinking......some of it is good, but the other must be that demon that makes him drink! He is quick to fly off the handle, gets very loud and foul mouthed. We have talked about it and he does very well for a while, but then he blows! I think physical excersize would help relieve some stress, but we all know what I think is irrelevant!

Thanks for the input.....have a good one, I am off to the gyno.....YUCK, Constant
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Old 06-06-2003, 06:01 AM
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I also tend to think that when my dry husband gets into angry outbursts like that about silly things it is because he still has so much pent up anger inside about not being like everyone else. You know, not being able to drink like the "normal" people. Your husband says he still wants to have a couple beers here and there but that is basically impossible with an A and yet he wants to so bad. Alot of anger comes from that. He hasn't accepted the fact that alcohol makes his life unmanageable and that he cannot ever have any. Lolobug
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Old 06-06-2003, 11:40 AM
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Yeah Lolo he really hasn't accepted the fact that one or two will do him harm, but he is WAY further along than he was a year ago. I can relate to the saying I will never again do something....especially if it is something I like or think I like. That is hard to swallow......FOREVER!! Maybe if he just fights the battle one day at a time without the NEVER word it will be better for him. Regardless, I am enjoying the fact that his attitude towards drinking has changed.....not only for himself, but he is seeing the damage it has done to other people (from their own drinking). He is also VERY concerned that our children will drink and he tells them now that they should never to start and why. Just a short time ago he didn't see the harm in it, that is progress.

Thanks Lolo
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