jopenn

dear friends family of substance abusers how do we help w/ husband is not willing to connect w/out starting an argument i beli eve he may be clean but angers quickly if i express needs concerns bills intimacy ...our marriage etc. i pray ,have faith in God,know im human and have made many mistakes ,also believe in the forgiveness of sins and Our Father in heaven i never know what to expect , may have forgiven too many times but are we not to forgive 70times 7.... so sad about the let downs ,unkept promises.. feel unloved ,he with holds any affection ,love... he splits if i complain therefore bills will not get paid im paying all i can and have kindly paid all in the past years i need hope for our marriage did needles and abusing others methadone change his feelings for me im hurting and tired but do not know how to pick up the pieces or do nice things for me also, it seems his family who i do care for has blamed me for his problems please help, jopenn

Ann

Jopenn, forgiveness doesn't mean that we have to set ourselves up for the bad behaviour again, it just means that we let go of the resentment and pain that we attach to the past and then take whatever course is necessary to keep ourselves safe in the future.

Regardless of what he says or does, what matters is what YOU do to take care of you. You can't change him, but you can forgive him and move forward doing whatever you need to do to bring peace back into your heart and your life.

Meetings helped me sort all this out by giving me 12 steps that helped me get back some sanity and learn to take care of myself. Maybe give it a try, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Hugs

hope213

forgiving is forgiviness but you do not have to let him get away with the same thing over & over. taking care of yourself is important. prayers for u both.