Newbie here, looking for support buddy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6
Newbie here, looking for support buddy
Hiya, Group. I was glad to see the SoberRecovery website - it was exactly what I am looking for. I am a very public business owner and wanted to keep my identity to a minimum.
I drink. And when I drink, i keep drinking. My problem is two-fold - its now affecting my business and my reputation as a community leader. I am on the lookout for a support buddy or sponsor of some type to keep my drinking under control. Someone to talk to. I feel as though I cannot even divulge my issues to my therapist - it's completely embarassing and degrading. This is not me.
Is there anyone out there to help? Location is no matter since I'll be discussing things online only.
I really appreciate it - this seems like a reallly nice group.
- Rafterman
I drink. And when I drink, i keep drinking. My problem is two-fold - its now affecting my business and my reputation as a community leader. I am on the lookout for a support buddy or sponsor of some type to keep my drinking under control. Someone to talk to. I feel as though I cannot even divulge my issues to my therapist - it's completely embarassing and degrading. This is not me.
Is there anyone out there to help? Location is no matter since I'll be discussing things online only.
I really appreciate it - this seems like a reallly nice group.
- Rafterman
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR!
You just found a deep pool of information and support
Please ask questions...you are not alone with your situation.
I am an alcoholic in AA recovery.
The best suggestion I have for you
Please go to our Alcoholism Forum and read
2 nd sticky post.
Glad you are here with us...we do understand.
PS....I moved your post from Storeis
and you can find it in Alcoholism....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...r-october.html
You just found a deep pool of information and support
Please ask questions...you are not alone with your situation.
I am an alcoholic in AA recovery.
The best suggestion I have for you
Please go to our Alcoholism Forum and read
2 nd sticky post.
Glad you are here with us...we do understand.
PS....I moved your post from Storeis
and you can find it in Alcoholism....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...r-october.html
Last edited by CarolD; 11-11-2007 at 08:31 AM. Reason: PS...
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Hi Rafterman,
Welcome and yes, we really do understand.
Alcoholism is a horrible disease and it robs of our self-respect, among other things.
I find SR to be a lifeline for me and I love the support and information that I find here.
Welcome and yes, we really do understand.
Alcoholism is a horrible disease and it robs of our self-respect, among other things.
I find SR to be a lifeline for me and I love the support and information that I find here.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: On a Beach Some Where
Posts: 103
Welcome Rafterman,
Glad to see you here. This problem affects millions of people everyday. The lucky ones realize it and are able to find help. There is help here and tons of support. I Love this site and the people on it!
Now to the point. If you can not be honest with your therapist, How do you expect them to truly help you? Be honest, Be honest to yourself. Try not to concentrate on being embarrassed and focus on sobriety.
I will PM you. you will not be able to respond just yet. I forget how many post you have to do before you will be able to PM. I am 44 years old and I am in management. I have told my employer about my problem. Being a business owner I see you have already told yours to. LOL.
If you need some one to vent to Ring me up.
Good to see you here. Keep reading and posting and you will get loads of support.
Glad to see you here. This problem affects millions of people everyday. The lucky ones realize it and are able to find help. There is help here and tons of support. I Love this site and the people on it!
Now to the point. If you can not be honest with your therapist, How do you expect them to truly help you? Be honest, Be honest to yourself. Try not to concentrate on being embarrassed and focus on sobriety.
I will PM you. you will not be able to respond just yet. I forget how many post you have to do before you will be able to PM. I am 44 years old and I am in management. I have told my employer about my problem. Being a business owner I see you have already told yours to. LOL.
If you need some one to vent to Ring me up.
Good to see you here. Keep reading and posting and you will get loads of support.
Last edited by whittenboy; 11-11-2007 at 08:32 AM.
Life is Grand
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,039
Hello RafterMan..welcome to SR. You have found the friendliest support site that I know of!! I am glad you are here...Sobriety is a wonderful thing. There is a lot of wisdom here...all yours for the taking...
Cathy
Cathy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6
You guys are heaven-sent. I post one little message and here comes the calvary. It's spectacular. Im already feeling good about coming here.
As far as my therapist, you're right. However, she is really a "stress manager" for me regarging business management. She specifically states that she's not an addiction councelor, so I have failed to bring it up. She helps me with employee management, business matters and other career-oriented speedbumps.
It's one of the reasons I came here - to find good friends - good people.
It's my life's goal to make my business so successful, that my kids take over, and be proud "lifers" to what I do. And somehow, this is already helping.
In fact, I picked up that book - 7 Habits of Highly Effective people and read the whole thing in just days. I find it interesting that I woke up early for work, didnt drink, did well. But here we go again, it doesnt last long.
It seems to distress me that my friends and family can have a few drinks, a few laughs and then get on with their life. I start drinking - and then get drunk. My 'sober in october' month made me really think about all this. That's why Im here.
Anyway, i'll keep posting. Right now Im babbling - I guess you guys are making me open up!
As far as my therapist, you're right. However, she is really a "stress manager" for me regarging business management. She specifically states that she's not an addiction councelor, so I have failed to bring it up. She helps me with employee management, business matters and other career-oriented speedbumps.
It's one of the reasons I came here - to find good friends - good people.
It's my life's goal to make my business so successful, that my kids take over, and be proud "lifers" to what I do. And somehow, this is already helping.
In fact, I picked up that book - 7 Habits of Highly Effective people and read the whole thing in just days. I find it interesting that I woke up early for work, didnt drink, did well. But here we go again, it doesnt last long.
It seems to distress me that my friends and family can have a few drinks, a few laughs and then get on with their life. I start drinking - and then get drunk. My 'sober in october' month made me really think about all this. That's why Im here.
Anyway, i'll keep posting. Right now Im babbling - I guess you guys are making me open up!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Rafter,
Don't you think it was odd that she stated this to you? IMHO you have already said enough to her that she sees there may be addiction issues to deal with, and she has done the professional thing and told you she is not the answer.
Maybe she can refer you to someone? Or you can surely find it yourself.
She specifically states that she's not an addiction counselor
Maybe she can refer you to someone? Or you can surely find it yourself.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
Sober in October & Sober Recovery
Hi,
I read your post about you and your wife not drinking in the month of October. That was a good plan. Too bad you can't continue that on now. Does your wife have a problem with alcohol too or is she one of the relatives that can drink in a responsible manner? :comfort
I am a female alcoholic in recovery. I used AA as my program of Recovery. I found these forums about four years ago when I was looking for a support group for quitting smoking, which I did.
I have been sober 19 years and did get help for my alcoholism and depression at the same time. I attended AA for many years...every night the first year. I didn't see where you live but our little rural community had a meeting for professionals that would protect their anonymity.
Keep coming back, looking for what you need, and be kind to yourself as you work toward your goal. :atv
kelsh
I read your post about you and your wife not drinking in the month of October. That was a good plan. Too bad you can't continue that on now. Does your wife have a problem with alcohol too or is she one of the relatives that can drink in a responsible manner? :comfort
I am a female alcoholic in recovery. I used AA as my program of Recovery. I found these forums about four years ago when I was looking for a support group for quitting smoking, which I did.
I have been sober 19 years and did get help for my alcoholism and depression at the same time. I attended AA for many years...every night the first year. I didn't see where you live but our little rural community had a meeting for professionals that would protect their anonymity.
Keep coming back, looking for what you need, and be kind to yourself as you work toward your goal. :atv
kelsh
. We really do understand.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 69
Hello RafterMan.
I, too, am a business owner and my drinking was driving my company into the tubes. I have just recently made the decision and comittment to kick the booze and build my company into its potential instead of an avenue to allow me to drink myself to death.
When I started my company, I thought "I can do whatever I want. I have no boss, no one to report to...as long as I am making money, I can drink and no one will notice or care."
I was drinking so much, and recovering from hangovers so much, that I worked the very minimum and did not provide my company with the support and action it needed to grow.
First things first: your therapist should be someone you trust. As a former therapist, I can tell you that they are not allowed to divulge any discussion you have with them as long as it does not involve a dangerous coiminal activity or that they have been served with a subpeona specifically regarding you. Therapists are there to help.
"it's completely embarassing and degrading. This is not me."
Might I correct you? This is you, just not what you want other people to see as you. You didn't divulge your amount or frequency of drinking, but if it is affecting your place as an owner and community leader, you can bet that people will eventually see through the facade. My employees knew I was a drunk, they were just afraid to say anything. My friends knew, but as my best friend said at my alcoholism admission, "What was someone going to say??? It's not like telling you that your fly is open!"
And YES, it is embarassing. I had always been seen as the leader and the guy with "so much potential." But, it's only degrading when you don't understand the full affects that alcohol has on your body and brain. One book that opened my eyes was "Under the Influence" by James R. Milam and Katherine Ketcham. You talk about a freakin' eye-opener.
Reading that book helped me put together an action plan (in trite business-speak) for quitting. Alcoholism is not just a disease for the weak-willed, and is not something that you can will away. You have to have medical help, support, and a game plan. I could feel the physical changes of sobriety after three days, and every day I wake up to a new surprise in health recovery, mental fortitude, and productive action in my business and personal life.
I ain't done yet. I'm only ten days into sobriety. But I have tackled some pretty big monsters, and look forward to tackling a few more today.
If you're good at business, then you are good at setting out an effective plan. Use your strengths to attack your weaknesses, and never let your weaknesses define your career or you as a person.
Good luck, and let us know your progress.
I, too, am a business owner and my drinking was driving my company into the tubes. I have just recently made the decision and comittment to kick the booze and build my company into its potential instead of an avenue to allow me to drink myself to death.
When I started my company, I thought "I can do whatever I want. I have no boss, no one to report to...as long as I am making money, I can drink and no one will notice or care."
I was drinking so much, and recovering from hangovers so much, that I worked the very minimum and did not provide my company with the support and action it needed to grow.
First things first: your therapist should be someone you trust. As a former therapist, I can tell you that they are not allowed to divulge any discussion you have with them as long as it does not involve a dangerous coiminal activity or that they have been served with a subpeona specifically regarding you. Therapists are there to help.
"it's completely embarassing and degrading. This is not me."
Might I correct you? This is you, just not what you want other people to see as you. You didn't divulge your amount or frequency of drinking, but if it is affecting your place as an owner and community leader, you can bet that people will eventually see through the facade. My employees knew I was a drunk, they were just afraid to say anything. My friends knew, but as my best friend said at my alcoholism admission, "What was someone going to say??? It's not like telling you that your fly is open!"
And YES, it is embarassing. I had always been seen as the leader and the guy with "so much potential." But, it's only degrading when you don't understand the full affects that alcohol has on your body and brain. One book that opened my eyes was "Under the Influence" by James R. Milam and Katherine Ketcham. You talk about a freakin' eye-opener.
Reading that book helped me put together an action plan (in trite business-speak) for quitting. Alcoholism is not just a disease for the weak-willed, and is not something that you can will away. You have to have medical help, support, and a game plan. I could feel the physical changes of sobriety after three days, and every day I wake up to a new surprise in health recovery, mental fortitude, and productive action in my business and personal life.
I ain't done yet. I'm only ten days into sobriety. But I have tackled some pretty big monsters, and look forward to tackling a few more today.
If you're good at business, then you are good at setting out an effective plan. Use your strengths to attack your weaknesses, and never let your weaknesses define your career or you as a person.
Good luck, and let us know your progress.
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