Do you believe anybody willing to hookup with you at clubs are trouble?
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: San Francisco, CA
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Originally Posted by GiveLove 
Wow, Mr. Christian, is that the biggest font size in the universe or what? 
As sick as it makes me feel now, at that point in my life I just wanted to be involved with somebody who was drop-dead beautiful and who craved me, needed me. Didn't matter at all what they were like in real life.....how they treated people.....how they handled a crisis......how patient or faithful or honest they were....whether they had a job.....OR whether they were addicts. Didn't matter one bit. If everybody else wanted them, and if they wanted ME, I was in. Pretty sick, huh?
GL
As sick as it makes me feel now, at that point in my life I just wanted to be involved with somebody who was drop-dead beautiful and who craved me, needed me. Didn't matter at all what they were like in real life.....how they treated people.....how they handled a crisis......how patient or faithful or honest they were....whether they had a job.....OR whether they were addicts. Didn't matter one bit. If everybody else wanted them, and if they wanted ME, I was in. Pretty sick, huh?
GL
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Location: San Francisco, CA
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Originally Posted by SaTiT
yes,..it's a bit hard to try to convience yourself it's a snap
shot from hell when two babe takes you home and wanna
love you back to life. It'll would be a bit hard to convience
a guy it's hell...I thought I died and went to heaven.
Being seperated and the guitarman..
I had the pefect sob story.lol Obviolusely they knew I was
married. Maybe it's the territorial thing..that women has
i don't know. Then one them had to speak of love and marriage.
that totally mess it up...of course, it's always the stalker.lol
I had marrital problems that should had given her a clue...
Didn't relize it at first..I found it very, very appealing that
someone could have that type of fatal attraction for me.
Well, it was better than rejection the my wife was given me.
She bascailly did the samething to me when we were going out tho..
My last relationship..well, there seem to be a common theme.
Her ex was also a musician...that should have given me a clue.
She say that she swear that she'll never get involve with a musicain again.
You know the story of how we swear that we'll never do it again.lol
shot from hell when two babe takes you home and wanna
love you back to life. It'll would be a bit hard to convience
a guy it's hell...I thought I died and went to heaven.
Being seperated and the guitarman..
I had the pefect sob story.lol Obviolusely they knew I was
married. Maybe it's the territorial thing..that women has
i don't know. Then one them had to speak of love and marriage.
that totally mess it up...of course, it's always the stalker.lol
I had marrital problems that should had given her a clue...
Didn't relize it at first..I found it very, very appealing that
someone could have that type of fatal attraction for me.
Well, it was better than rejection the my wife was given me.
She bascailly did the samething to me when we were going out tho..
My last relationship..well, there seem to be a common theme.
Her ex was also a musician...that should have given me a clue.
She say that she swear that she'll never get involve with a musicain again.
You know the story of how we swear that we'll never do it again.lol
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
okay... that one is easy..lol
NEVER...
It worked for brad pitt with Julia roberts in the mexican.
Honestly, it's been relatively a short time since i've been seperated.
I'm saying..I had enough.lol But I don't think the jaded feelings faded yet.
And i'm defferenently not going swear.lol
I'm still working through the wreackage and baggage of this last
relationship. It hasn't been a total lost or a wasted, There was good
times and bad times. Hopefully I'm a stronger or a better person..
It didn't killed me.lol
As fas as going to bars or clubs. i belive i've gone enough to feel
like I'm not missing anything anymore. I'm glad I experinced it,
and got it out of my system so I'm not wondering about it.
I'm hoping i experience enough of the stalkers syndrom so i'm not missing
it or question it either. I'm starting to get comfortable with being
single again.
However i saw the most beautiful woman at a wedding
not too long ago. i can totally loose myself in her and wouldn't mind...
She was getting wasted out of her mind thou...mmm the radar
is still functioning.lol
NEVER...
It worked for brad pitt with Julia roberts in the mexican.
Honestly, it's been relatively a short time since i've been seperated.
I'm saying..I had enough.lol But I don't think the jaded feelings faded yet.
And i'm defferenently not going swear.lol
I'm still working through the wreackage and baggage of this last
relationship. It hasn't been a total lost or a wasted, There was good
times and bad times. Hopefully I'm a stronger or a better person..
It didn't killed me.lol
As fas as going to bars or clubs. i belive i've gone enough to feel
like I'm not missing anything anymore. I'm glad I experinced it,
and got it out of my system so I'm not wondering about it.
I'm hoping i experience enough of the stalkers syndrom so i'm not missing
it or question it either. I'm starting to get comfortable with being
single again.
However i saw the most beautiful woman at a wedding
not too long ago. i can totally loose myself in her and wouldn't mind...
She was getting wasted out of her mind thou...mmm the radar
is still functioning.lol
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
It was my experience that I had to learn more about myself ... to heal from the pain of my past relationship(s) before I was ready to move forward and try a healthier one.
My HP has a wicked sense of humor and timing... If I don't learn the lesson, He will present it to me again - same situation in different skin - until I GET it.
(It took me awhile to figure that out...about the 3rd time when I realized I was finding myself in the same darn situation with my next ex...)
SO I was 100% single for about 6 months and spent that time working on ME. And you know what? I started meeting nicer, healthier people. Go figure.
My HP has a wicked sense of humor and timing... If I don't learn the lesson, He will present it to me again - same situation in different skin - until I GET it.
(It took me awhile to figure that out...about the 3rd time when I realized I was finding myself in the same darn situation with my next ex...)
SO I was 100% single for about 6 months and spent that time working on ME. And you know what? I started meeting nicer, healthier people. Go figure.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Code, what happened to your girlfriend? I feel like I've slipped into the twilight zone with you here, somehow.
If you're talking about the type of clubs I knew a little of back in the day (beats, strobes, booze, drugs, beautiful people), then I would offer a qualified no. Clubs are not about relationships. They are about flirting without talking (who can have a conversation there?), fun, animal attraction, sex, fantasy, escape, levity. The relationships that spring up out of that scene are IN SPITE of, rather than because of, the situation.
It's not real, hon. It's all an illusion. IME, the people who hang around that scene are adept at mask-wearing. I am sensing that you are ready to put down yours.
Just a suggestion, but perhaps you can read back through your old posts and see that you have been asking the same question for a long time. Perhaps the answer is in your face and you don't want to see it?
If you're talking about the type of clubs I knew a little of back in the day (beats, strobes, booze, drugs, beautiful people), then I would offer a qualified no. Clubs are not about relationships. They are about flirting without talking (who can have a conversation there?), fun, animal attraction, sex, fantasy, escape, levity. The relationships that spring up out of that scene are IN SPITE of, rather than because of, the situation.
It's not real, hon. It's all an illusion. IME, the people who hang around that scene are adept at mask-wearing. I am sensing that you are ready to put down yours.
Just a suggestion, but perhaps you can read back through your old posts and see that you have been asking the same question for a long time. Perhaps the answer is in your face and you don't want to see it?
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 491
Originally Posted by minnie
Code, what happened to your girlfriend? I feel like I've slipped into the twilight zone with you here, somehow.
If you're talking about the type of clubs I knew a little of back in the day (beats, strobes, booze, drugs, beautiful people), then I would offer a qualified no. Clubs are not about relationships. They are about flirting without talking (who can have a conversation there?), fun, animal attraction, sex, fantasy, escape, levity. The relationships that spring up out of that scene are IN SPITE of, rather than because of, the situation.
It's not real, hon. It's all an illusion. IME, the people who hang around that scene are adept at mask-wearing. I am sensing that you are ready to put down yours.
Just a suggestion, but perhaps you can read back through your old posts and see that you have been asking the same question for a long time. Perhaps the answer is in your face and you don't want to see it?
If you're talking about the type of clubs I knew a little of back in the day (beats, strobes, booze, drugs, beautiful people), then I would offer a qualified no. Clubs are not about relationships. They are about flirting without talking (who can have a conversation there?), fun, animal attraction, sex, fantasy, escape, levity. The relationships that spring up out of that scene are IN SPITE of, rather than because of, the situation.
It's not real, hon. It's all an illusion. IME, the people who hang around that scene are adept at mask-wearing. I am sensing that you are ready to put down yours.
Just a suggestion, but perhaps you can read back through your old posts and see that you have been asking the same question for a long time. Perhaps the answer is in your face and you don't want to see it?
I know the answer... I just trying to convince myself.
I wanted to become single for a few reasons, to work more, to play more and to find myself and to protect her.
My GF is the healthiest and most beautiful girl combo you can find!! I left her so she can protect herself from me, meanwhile, I am having a hard enough time trying to protect myself from myself.
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Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
ummmm.....what's "hook-up" mean?
seriously....i never met a bar i didn't like when i was young. i loved the flirting, the attention, the excitement, the role-playing. which set me up as a perfect codie.
what made me stop going to bars???? how did i know it was time to quit???
easy....age. and when being in a room full of people began to feel like i was really all alone. and feeling like no matter where i was, it wasn't where i wanted to be.
i got tired of it all. moved on to having children. now there's a real trip.
seriously....i never met a bar i didn't like when i was young. i loved the flirting, the attention, the excitement, the role-playing. which set me up as a perfect codie.
what made me stop going to bars???? how did i know it was time to quit???
easy....age. and when being in a room full of people began to feel like i was really all alone. and feeling like no matter where i was, it wasn't where i wanted to be.
i got tired of it all. moved on to having children. now there's a real trip.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Lancashire, UK
Posts: 7
I think it depends on what sort of person you are looking for. But beautiful, intelligent, good natured people frequent bars and clubs too - You cant prejudge a person just on the basis of the bar or club they have socialised in.
Personally, I would sooner meet people face to face.
Gary
Personally, I would sooner meet people face to face.
Gary
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im going to stay single for a while... im only going to play round while i focus on my career and finding myself. ill eliminate the "straight from hell" experiences by not dating anyone i play with, letting them know upfront im not ready for a relationship for a while.
theorically, this should allow me to "safely" hang around the dark world again without getting "stuck" to being an enabler or going through the crazy love and life style of dating an active drug addict.
i love you and wish me luck
theorically, this should allow me to "safely" hang around the dark world again without getting "stuck" to being an enabler or going through the crazy love and life style of dating an active drug addict.
i love you and wish me luck
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
theorically, this should allow me to "safely" hang around the dark world again without getting "stuck" to being an enabler or going through the crazy love and life style of dating an active drug addict.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 98
FormerDoormat, I concur. The Dark World is aptly labeled 'dark' for a reason. And although some of us prefer the dark, what sense is there in carrying a flashlight in the attempt to see everything when it only shines its light on the tiny area to which it is pointed? Plus, you end up wasting half of your life replacing the batteries.
In the Light World, we don't need replacement batteries. We don't even need flashlights. We just open our eyes every morning and smile; we can see absolutely everything, not just what we point our flashlights at...
Code, please forgive me for not knowing your story or you, as I am new here on this site. I was struck by this statement in your post: "im going to stay single for a while... im only going to play round while i focus on my career and finding myself. ill eliminate the "straight from hell" experiences by not dating anyone i play with, letting them know upfront im not ready for a relationship for a while."
I'm no Dr. Phil, but perhaps seeking to not play with anyone you date is a more sure-fire method to sanity when dealing with the God of Love? Pending, of course, on your definition of 'play with.'
Hope things have been good for you.
In the Light World, we don't need replacement batteries. We don't even need flashlights. We just open our eyes every morning and smile; we can see absolutely everything, not just what we point our flashlights at...
Code, please forgive me for not knowing your story or you, as I am new here on this site. I was struck by this statement in your post: "im going to stay single for a while... im only going to play round while i focus on my career and finding myself. ill eliminate the "straight from hell" experiences by not dating anyone i play with, letting them know upfront im not ready for a relationship for a while."
I'm no Dr. Phil, but perhaps seeking to not play with anyone you date is a more sure-fire method to sanity when dealing with the God of Love? Pending, of course, on your definition of 'play with.'
Hope things have been good for you.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: "Somewhere in Ohio" ... little joke from past
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I keep learning more and more about love. In my 20s I, too, thought the place to go was a bar because "hooking up" was the goal. Then I realized I didn't want sex with a stranger. Then I evolved to wanting sex with at least a friend. Then I found it wasn't fair and it wouldn't last to have a "friend with benefits." None of it was satisfying. I finally got to where I said I would only have sex with a man I loved. Well, I loved my XABF and wouldn't you know the SOB was FAKING every single loving thing he said! Man, he was convincing too! So now I only want "making love" and I feel like I need to have my partner take a lie detector test when he says he loves me! HAHAHA, what a mess love is!
Code, I know what you mean, and it seems like a hopeless quest! But speaking as a member of the female sex, there ARE women out like you are looking for! How do I know? Because I AM one. I never at ANY time looked at another person while I was married or with my XABF. I gave it my all, tried to be fair with him, loved and supported him, and if he had had the courage to beat his demons and turn his life around, it would have been an incredibly good relationship for both of us. That damn dark side just was something he ultimately didn't want to beat.
Keep the faith. You're young and all these bad relationships will make you appreciate a good one that much more!
Code, I know what you mean, and it seems like a hopeless quest! But speaking as a member of the female sex, there ARE women out like you are looking for! How do I know? Because I AM one. I never at ANY time looked at another person while I was married or with my XABF. I gave it my all, tried to be fair with him, loved and supported him, and if he had had the courage to beat his demons and turn his life around, it would have been an incredibly good relationship for both of us. That damn dark side just was something he ultimately didn't want to beat.
Keep the faith. You're young and all these bad relationships will make you appreciate a good one that much more!
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