guineapigjude

Sometimes I swear they read this book ~ thats why we all know them so well ...
Anyway, to update my daughter's situation with her dad , just as most of you predicted, after he messed with my daughter Julie's head about Halloween, he called her twice (messages) to leave apologies, very humble and sorrowful. Of course, he still laid the blame for his actions on her ("I told you I wasn't going to see you this weekend because I was mad at you because you were mad at me.") and in the process threw some blame my way ("If mom is making you do this, I'll take care of her!") I did call him and leave a polite message for him on that one, as in "don't blame me for your relationship with the kids and don't ever leave threatening messages about me again!"
He called this afternoon to ask my son if he wanted to play catch Sunday, since Julie has told dad she has other plans for this weekend. (Which, of course, means she is mad as a hornet and doesn't want to be around dad right now.) He is now the martyr, suffering for the good of his daughter, as well as dad of the year, spending quality time with his son. (This from the guy that, as he left the family, told me I got pregnant with our son just to "trap me into supporting you".)
Ugh. But at least she's seeing the game plan. When I told her she could always change her mind and see dad this weekend, she replied "No way! I'm not falling for his little game!"
Wow. Maybe this codie thing will just skip her!!!!

ARealLady

You know, guineapig, that's why I've learned it isn't in my interest at all to even begin to address any of XABF's accusations and nasty comments towards me. Every little thing has been TWISTED now to make him look like the great guy who was used and abused by me. Interestingly, I was PERFECT in his eyes until I began to draw boundaries and look after myself. There is no arguing with an A. Thank you for reminding me! Have a peaceful weekend!!

ARL

guineapigjude

LOL! Back to the "book"! My X used to tell everyone how wonderful I was until I decided to stop enabling and being a doormat. Funny how I'm now the axis of evil??? Guess your X and mine read the same chapter!

ARealLady

the axis of evil

Or super-b*tch supremo!

I want a weapon like the one you're firing off the porch, GP! Here we come!!!!!!!:uzi2: :uzi2:

ARL

Wascally Wabbit

The behavior is so predictable, isn't it! They pitch a fit, threaten something they feel is the strongest thing they can toss at you, then when you don't respond in the codie way, they start apoligizing! They see their manipulation isn't working so, they desperately scramble for something that will keep us tangled up in their lives.
So, they apoligize. And, we all know those apologies are short lived as long as they're still drinking.

LOL, alcoholics for dummies!! That's funny. Who should read it? Us, or THEM? LOL!

You know, I found a website just for drunks! It's called Modern Drunkard Magazine. It's so stupid, but I am sure it has a huge following.

Janitw

Shoot you guys I think my XAH wrote that book......how did I know he had it published.....lol

Blaming is what they do best.....its their best weapon. I remember a couple of times that my XAH left the kids and I he would want to come back home and his way of getting back in the door went like this: " Are you and the kids gonna straighten up if I am willing to come home???" lol Of course this was met with a slam of the phone....by me.

Pick-a-name

Dang........mine said the exact same thing! haha I told him that I was doing what I could (around the house: he moved out a month because he thought it was "too messy"...it was, but..quack,quack,quack.) I told him that if it still seemed a problem that maybe he should go back to the furnished commuter-apartments he rented for another month because I (and kids) also had some issues that we thought hadn't been addressed either and it would give us both a little more time to work our own issues. He looked like he saw a ghost...all the ego colapsed like a pin pricking a balloon; said he couldn't,someone else was already moving in, and his stuff was in the trunk. (He did move out six months later...this time did not say he'd be back at the end of the month.)

That was a few years ago; never moved back in and divorced me last year.

Guess who just left the house? He came over to fix something he heard needed repaired. Not sure what chapter that is, but I am sure it's in there! ha

guineapigjude

It has to be! When my X left because I was crazy (Hmmmm, but he wasn't worried about leaving the kids with me?!) he did say he wanted us to be friends and he would be coming by the house to "fix things" for me. Funny, he never lifted a finger when we were married!!!
Someday we should start a thread and take turns writing the chapters of the book!
Heaven knows we've been through 'em all!

Pick-a-name

HAHAHA....he said those EXACT same things,too!!!! (and I thought,maybe even mentioned, the same about leaving the kids here with me,too hahahaha)

He said "he would always be there for me", "we'd always be together" and "he would never leave me",etc.....as we were leaving the courtroom! WHAT?!! ( I said,"you just did!") Oh, and he wants us to always be friends,too. I told him that's something that might be too difficult for me after 30yrs together; that I didn't think that was going to fly with me.

Heck; he came to my sister's for the last few holiday dinners......now that we are divorced! (He did NOT come the few years before that while we were still married....) Whatever. We do what we are going to do and tell him what we are doing and said if you want to join us,that's where we will be. He was there before we were! LOL He's "behaved himself" everytime so it's worked out fine. Is a bit strange though. Works out best for our kids,too.

steve11694

No arguing, reason, logic, or sanity, PERIOD

Janitw

Shoot you guys.....we all must have been married to the same family members huh? I guess the traits are all the same aren't they.

Pick - my ex never offered to fix anything......shoot I don't think mine could have seen anything through those blood shot eyes anyway. I remember my son would not even tell his dad when there was something wrong with his car tho...he was too afraid that his dad might try and be a dad for a change and attempt to fix it.

Every time I become down or sad I need to force myself to remember all the things my ex didn't do or care about and then I would be just fine. How could we have deluded ourselves for sooooo long. I guess it had to end somewhere didn't it.

guineapigjude

Which leads to the sequel....Codependent Behavior for Dummys ... they could write it about us!!!!