tollbooth

Of course, Im doing it all completely wrong anyways, so no big deal, heh? The xagf had told me she was moving in with the new guy at the end of the month. So curiousity (which killed the cat, btw!) got the better of me, and I dialed her apt. Recording came on saying it was disconnected and no forwarding number. Its going to be a long night. Thank God I have alanon meeting to go to tonight in a couple hours.

Pick-a-name

(((tollbooth)))

Astro

Meetings are a safe place tollbooth, I try to make an AA or CoDA meeting every night. I might feel lonely, but I'm never truly alone in recovery.

Janitw

"Curiosity killed the cat".................satisfaction brought him back.......he he he

guineapigjude

((((tollbooth))))) ... thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way. We're here for you.

CBrown

((((((tollbooth)))))) ... I know that feeling. It's a sickening one. The worst was spying on his email and getting the one that said "R, here's the chapel you want in Las Vegas."

It's a double-edged sword. Finding out the truth keeps you in reality, but then it puts the blade right through the gut. I'm so sorry, Tollbooth. I'm so sorry that we all got involved with people who have no integrity or feelings for others.

tollbooth

Someone posted this the other day, rings so true:

"When i say I love you, I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be using if i loved myself, and since i don't, i cannot love you."

gns

Dear Toll booth, I know it is very painful, but in time you will have grown and will be happy, and most likely she will not.

My ex dated someone 3 wks after we broke up. I haven't even had a real date in a year. No surprise, he ending up screwing up that relationship and started repeating the sam aptterns, and although I am not there yet, I know I would no longer continue the same pattern, I can see that I have grown.

She is jumping into something else so quickly, do youreally think it willbe any different for her with this guy?

embraced2000

(((((tollbooth)))))

i understand how much this hurts. it is amazing how quickly they can latch onto someone else. but that's what they do. they have to find another enabler to keep their first love alive.....their addiction.

it has nothing to do with love with a human. it's all about the love of their addiction, and keeping it alive and well.

just hang on, and keep going to meetings.

i know it is not easy.....been there.

as long as she is using, she will never make a relationship work. her pattern will repeat itself over and over.....same relationship, just different person.

i pray she will seek recovery. that's bout all we can do for our loved ones that are lost out there.

but there is plenty we can do for ourselves.

cagefree

So true. When I looked at XABF's behaviour as a result of his addiction and not as a result of my self worth (or lack there of) it got a little easier and I got closer to letting go of resentment.

GiveLove

Sorry about this, tollbooth. No need to do that to yourself in the future.

My X, who I had the bad fortune to have to talk to the other day, was mixed up with someone else -- several someone elses, actually -- right after I left.

Sure enough, he's still miserable. Still going from dysfunctional relationship to dysfunctional relationship.

I hung up the phone and thought, "Dodged THAT bullet."

Hopefully, some day soon, that will be your only gut reaction too!

Hugs,
GL

tollbooth

I really do know that fact in my mind, but the heart wont accept it yet. Therein lies my understanding about the ugliness of alcoholism: It steals those we love.

kglast

((((tollbooth)))))