please help me, what do i do???
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: florida
Posts: 6
please help me, what do i do???
Hi, I am hoping someone can please help me, here is my situation.
My fiance was recovering from opiates when we met 7yrs ago,since then he did really good until last year.
He went to the dentist in2006 for a root canal,was prescribed vicodin and that's where i believe it started.I was on bed rest for a high risk pregnancy and had to live close to the hospital so he had to hold down th fort at home with the 3 children.I know he was lonely and was depressed but i could have died anytime but i dealt with it.The baby was preemie but healthy and spent almost 2weeks in nicu wich was stressful.Now at home the baby had all my attention all the time, i barely even slept and that's when i started to notice my fiance's attitude, then he finally blew up saying horrible, nasty, disgusting, things to me & to finish he put a hole in the wall.So we did the detox at home, he stayed in our bdrm, i had the kids goto granma's.I did not baby him at all,i figure if he pukes,shakes and has diareah it's what happens.He quit and it was a hard road but he did it until..
Today,OMG i went to fax something and when i had to get the phone cord from above i saw my empty bottle of vicodin from my dentist(.I do not nor have i ever had a problem with drugs but i save them cus you never know when you may need it.)
It has been a very stressful month,i ended up in the emergency room (am okay)2 little kids got sick then other child was involved in an accident that was very severe and could have lost his limb.work has also been very slow so funds are very tight.
So it has been stressful but is that the excuse?
I just feel sick to my stomach, i called him when i found the bottle and he was just like yeah i did.WTF
I can NOT do this again, i love him but i have to say that ever since the last time he relapsed i have been very guarded with my feelings, i will not allow anyone to destroy me as did my ex and the things he has said/done.
I can't i have 4 children to think about.
WHAT DO I DO?
DO I TELL HIM TO GET OUT?{it's his house}
H ealso has a major addiction to sweets and EVERYTHING is my fault,why he eats,now why he relapsed...I refuse to take the blame for this.
I don't want to even sleep in th same room as him right now.
I feel so betrayed i just want to slap him.
We were actually getting along the past week and now i know why, he suffers from depression so i just thought he was snapping out of it...
I am so stupid!!!!
I have had a sibling die due to drugs and am very adamant i will not put up with but am completely at a loss of how to stop it.
I have NO ONE to talk to about this at all, i can't tell anyone i know cus they just wouldn't be supportive except for his parents would be very supportive but he would freak out if they knew, they have helped him through this before.
i just called him at work and told him we need to talk,he's replies "about what" DUH.
He then says he kicked it over the past 2 days he's fine, he doesn't need to argue about it & he doesn't need to go to meetings.
I am truly an idiot, i knew something was off about his behavior the past week and then i thought he was coming down with a cold...stupid stupid stupid,i wanna kick myself...
Sorry it is so long but i just wanted to tell the story so i could get the right advice
Any advice would help, i don't know what to do.
Thank You
My fiance was recovering from opiates when we met 7yrs ago,since then he did really good until last year.
He went to the dentist in2006 for a root canal,was prescribed vicodin and that's where i believe it started.I was on bed rest for a high risk pregnancy and had to live close to the hospital so he had to hold down th fort at home with the 3 children.I know he was lonely and was depressed but i could have died anytime but i dealt with it.The baby was preemie but healthy and spent almost 2weeks in nicu wich was stressful.Now at home the baby had all my attention all the time, i barely even slept and that's when i started to notice my fiance's attitude, then he finally blew up saying horrible, nasty, disgusting, things to me & to finish he put a hole in the wall.So we did the detox at home, he stayed in our bdrm, i had the kids goto granma's.I did not baby him at all,i figure if he pukes,shakes and has diareah it's what happens.He quit and it was a hard road but he did it until..
Today,OMG i went to fax something and when i had to get the phone cord from above i saw my empty bottle of vicodin from my dentist(.I do not nor have i ever had a problem with drugs but i save them cus you never know when you may need it.)
It has been a very stressful month,i ended up in the emergency room (am okay)2 little kids got sick then other child was involved in an accident that was very severe and could have lost his limb.work has also been very slow so funds are very tight.
So it has been stressful but is that the excuse?
I just feel sick to my stomach, i called him when i found the bottle and he was just like yeah i did.WTF
I can NOT do this again, i love him but i have to say that ever since the last time he relapsed i have been very guarded with my feelings, i will not allow anyone to destroy me as did my ex and the things he has said/done.
I can't i have 4 children to think about.
WHAT DO I DO?
DO I TELL HIM TO GET OUT?{it's his house}
H ealso has a major addiction to sweets and EVERYTHING is my fault,why he eats,now why he relapsed...I refuse to take the blame for this.
I don't want to even sleep in th same room as him right now.
I feel so betrayed i just want to slap him.
We were actually getting along the past week and now i know why, he suffers from depression so i just thought he was snapping out of it...
I am so stupid!!!!
I have had a sibling die due to drugs and am very adamant i will not put up with but am completely at a loss of how to stop it.
I have NO ONE to talk to about this at all, i can't tell anyone i know cus they just wouldn't be supportive except for his parents would be very supportive but he would freak out if they knew, they have helped him through this before.
i just called him at work and told him we need to talk,he's replies "about what" DUH.
He then says he kicked it over the past 2 days he's fine, he doesn't need to argue about it & he doesn't need to go to meetings.
I am truly an idiot, i knew something was off about his behavior the past week and then i thought he was coming down with a cold...stupid stupid stupid,i wanna kick myself...
Sorry it is so long but i just wanted to tell the story so i could get the right advice
Any advice would help, i don't know what to do.
Thank You
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((cpsi))
Welcome to our SR family. Glad you found, but hate to hear about another family suffering from another person's addiction.
I, too have addicts in my family. I have found that for me, to help me deal with the affects of their addiction, I attend Al-Anon meetings, post on SR, work with a sponsor, read recovery literature and talk to many other recovery friends.
This may not seem like it could help, but it does. Please keep coming here and reading the information, maybe try to read some recovery literature, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics, Getting them Sober, are just a few of the books I really liked.
Most of all, please know that you are not alone - we have been there & we understand some of what you are going thru.
Please keep reaching out for help,
Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita
Welcome to our SR family. Glad you found, but hate to hear about another family suffering from another person's addiction.
I, too have addicts in my family. I have found that for me, to help me deal with the affects of their addiction, I attend Al-Anon meetings, post on SR, work with a sponsor, read recovery literature and talk to many other recovery friends.
This may not seem like it could help, but it does. Please keep coming here and reading the information, maybe try to read some recovery literature, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics, Getting them Sober, are just a few of the books I really liked.
Most of all, please know that you are not alone - we have been there & we understand some of what you are going thru.
Please keep reaching out for help,
Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita
up and out
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 185
Big hugs to you cpsi!!
Its so hard when the addict/alcoholic throws blame at you b/c you KNOW that their problem is not your fault. You can come here anytime to talk/vent/chat/cry/laugh/blow up/inspire/be inspired, etc. My recovery skyrocketed when I began reading and posting in these forums.
I hope your awakenings and recovery come rapidly.
P.S. My son was a preemie too born when I was 6.5 m/o pregnant. He was 3 lbs. He's 14 y/o now!!
Its so hard when the addict/alcoholic throws blame at you b/c you KNOW that their problem is not your fault. You can come here anytime to talk/vent/chat/cry/laugh/blow up/inspire/be inspired, etc. My recovery skyrocketed when I began reading and posting in these forums.
I hope your awakenings and recovery come rapidly.
P.S. My son was a preemie too born when I was 6.5 m/o pregnant. He was 3 lbs. He's 14 y/o now!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3
Hi Please don't beat yourself up for trusting your husband. This disease is very cunning. I also live with a funtioning alcoholic and my son is a alcoholic.
They will manipulate us and we will be blamed for things the alcoholic should take responsability for.
God Bless
They will manipulate us and we will be blamed for things the alcoholic should take responsability for.
God Bless
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