denny57

The topics the leader chose today at my meeting were these two terms. When she first said it, I thought it was a strange pairing, especially in that order.

As the shares went on, I heard some great stuff.

For me, I am simply grateful for every day I am given. The good ones, which are the norm, and the tough ones. I'm grateful to have been given from many sources the tools I need to both enjoy every day and deal with the challenges I face.

I didn't get to gratitude without acceptance first. But today, somehow, acceptance has taken the 2nd place. I need to think about this some more, how I got there.

The woman who lead today is an old timer, someone I greatly admire. So I'm also grateful to those who have many more years under their belts and stick around to inspire those like me.

minnie

Great topic (and thank you for taking up the challenge, hon.)

Acceptance took a little while for me. Gratitude a whole lot longer. In fact, I still struggle with being grateful for the life I have now, but I'll come to that in a sec.

Acceptance came in stages for me. First of all, I had to become aware of where I was. I seemed to have lived my life in somewhat of a fog for many years, blaming those around me for the lack of peace in my heart. When the scales started to fall, them came down like a snowstorm - yes, he was drinking beyond what I was comfortable with, yes, he was lying to me, yes, he had promised me the earth with no means to deliver, yes, I believed in the fairy tale, yes, I ignored the red flags, yes, the situation was serious, yes, I was sabotaging my own future happiness, yes, yes, yes.

Once I became aware, I struggled with the concept that this was happening to me. How could it? I was educated, intelligent, articulate, strong, raised in a loving family, generous, loving, blah, blah, blah. I finally pushed through my denial and came to accept that, indeed, I was in a very unhealthy situation and that I had, to a large extent, been the author of my own misfortune. With that acceptance came a great sense of peace, actually. I knew in my soul that I had dropped the mask between fantasy and reality.

As for gratitude, I said early on that I was grateful to R for being the catalyst for some deep seated changes within me. I still am, although he was no idea of that. As time goes by, I am learning to be both grateful and gracious in my gratitude. I walked my neighbour's dog last week down by the river and for the first time practiced something I was taught in my first al-anon meeting. I did an A-Z of gratitude. Some of the letters were hard to find, but I found that not only did my mood lift, but also I could take great pleasure in noticing those things that I kinda plucked out of thin air for the letters I was stuck on. I struggle with being grateful most often because I want to add a "but" in there somewhere. I like the discipline of focussing only on the things I am thankful for, at least for some part of the day.

On the top of my gratitude list, though, are the wonderful friends I have made through SR and you know, Denny, that you are right up there with them all.

Thank you so much for sharing.