So come I, again, with tail tucked and head low...
So come I, again, with tail tucked and head low...
Hello to all, again. I cannot believe it has been over four months since I have been here. So much has happened. My sobriety took another nose-dive in June, and I have been drinking heavily since. And to add to my self-destruction, I added Oxycodone to my abuse list. I figured one or two a day for my aches and pains of passing years would do no harm. And I kept it at that...however, splashing down two or three beers with it would boost the effect. Well, what the heck, an evening or two of doing three or four won't be bad, would it? After all, I can handle it OK. (Just look how well I handled the alcohol...went for three months without. No problem.)
Well here I sit, going through mild withdrawals and making the commitment to myself (once again) that the booze is out, the pills are out, and getting what was once a priority in my life (freedom from addiction) back as a focus.
Which comes to you, my friends and higher power...I must put energy back into my life. Addiction has no place for me. Instead of slavery, I want to enjoy life as a free man. I hope some of that energy comes from you. The majority of it will rely upon my efforts.
In a brief moment, as soon as I post this, one-hundred and twenty-four Oxycodone
tablets will meet a watery grave. Better they than I. And I have had no alcohol since Sunday evening, so my sober and clean date has begun today. Keep me in your thoughts and wish me well...here I go again.
Peace—
Padraic
Well here I sit, going through mild withdrawals and making the commitment to myself (once again) that the booze is out, the pills are out, and getting what was once a priority in my life (freedom from addiction) back as a focus.
Which comes to you, my friends and higher power...I must put energy back into my life. Addiction has no place for me. Instead of slavery, I want to enjoy life as a free man. I hope some of that energy comes from you. The majority of it will rely upon my efforts.
In a brief moment, as soon as I post this, one-hundred and twenty-four Oxycodone
tablets will meet a watery grave. Better they than I. And I have had no alcohol since Sunday evening, so my sober and clean date has begun today. Keep me in your thoughts and wish me well...here I go again.
Peace—
Padraic
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 22,950
Welcome back Padraic, congrats on Day 1 again. Assuming you can make it back there's always room in recovery for you. Have you considered a recovery program, AA or anything else?
UPDATE: At 15:57 CDT, 124 Oxycodone tablets met an untimely demise. Following a substantial fall from their cylindrical housing, all plunged into 65 degree water and were helplessly pulled under the surface by a tremendous vortex that suddenly appeared. All are presumed hopelessly lost. A report of a person pushing a chrome handle just prior to the appearance of the vortex in the water has been received. This person can be identified by the smirk of satisfaction on his face. END
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 22,950
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
It is so good you made it back to us...
Last time I was out there, I was in a dark spiral of events that nearly took my life...Much worse, I could have killed someone else...
Please stay with us and keep posting
I am so glad to see you back Padraic!! You are very fortunate to have made it back after such a short relapse...I have had friends who never came back...I miss them everyday. Keep posting!!!
Cathy
Cathy
Hi Padraic,
It's good to see you again.
I am glad you are trying again because we can never give up. The disease of addiction never rests and it will always be lurking. I hope you keep reading and posting and let us know how you are doing.
It's good to see you again.
I am glad you are trying again because we can never give up. The disease of addiction never rests and it will always be lurking. I hope you keep reading and posting and let us know how you are doing.
It's been over 24 hours since I last took the Oxycodone. I am sick to my stomach, lethargic, and generally feel like sh**. Since I am in the med field, I am monitoring my vitals and keeping a close watch on the withdrawals. I believe my addiction was in the early to moderate stages, so I hope I can do this w/o intervention. Green tea and rice is staying down and rest helps. I will be in and out this evening, so keep me in your thoughts. Thank you all.
Padraic
Padraic
Been dope sick. It is pretty horrible. I alternated by being very hot and sweating so much I soaked the sheets, to racking chills that were only made bearable by lying in the bathtub and letting the hot water pound my cramping abdomen. Oh, lots of dry heaving too. I don't recommend it.
I highly recommend "The Zen of Recovery" by Mel Ash and I read "365 Tao" as my morning meditation.
Hang in there, it will get better,
Ted
I highly recommend "The Zen of Recovery" by Mel Ash and I read "365 Tao" as my morning meditation.
Hang in there, it will get better,
Ted
Well, I'm still alive, although at times tonight, I was unsure. I'm sober, clean, and miserable. I believe I'll call it a day and head for bed. Thanks to all with their good wishes and PM's.
Tomorrow is a wonderful new day...I'll view it with clear eyes.
Peace—
Padraic
Tomorrow is a wonderful new day...I'll view it with clear eyes.
Peace—
Padraic
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