givemestrength

So how do I stop buying it?

Today was supposed to be day # 2 for me. It didn't work out that way. I stopped at the gas station on the way home.

I bought beer. I told myself "no" the whole way home, but still I ended up at the gas station. I don't understand why I'm so powerless to put the pedal to the metal and just drive. It only takes 12 feet to get past the gas station. That's 7 seconds of my time at 30mph. In 7 seconds, I change my mind losing all progress even if just under 48 hours.

Here's what I figure. I've got to find some way to prevent my ability to buy. I would like to empty my wallet of all debit and credit cards. I don't need cash. I only drive 5 miles each way to work. If I have an emergency I have a cell phone, which I also have roadside assistance through. Somehow, I make excuses to have debit and credit cards on hand. Do I really need them? Do I? I need to be sure I cover all my bases. Is having a cell phone enough if I have a full tank of gas and roadside assistance?

I think that's the only way I can keep from BUYING beer. Without it I feel fine. I love the way I feel. So if I could just pass the gas station.....

Do you think this will work? All thoughts are appreciated.

rloomer

That sounds like a good idea.
Give it a shot. Worst thing that can happen is you can't buy it

shanegtb

I understand where you're coming from.
If I'm hanging out with my friends, and they have drugs or alcohol, I'll go ahead and drink/smoke it. Even if I feel good, and know that I really shouldn't have it.
All I can say is stay strong. Try your way of thinking. It might just work

givemestrength

As long as that's the worst thing that's fine. I won't steal it that's for sure.

Alright, so then I'll try for quit day tomorrow....again. It (quit day) was Sunday and I made it through the day just fine. I didn't want it. I felt great. I slept well, though I did have a rash of irritability towards my loved ones around the time I would normally stop at the store. After reading the SR forums for several days, I recognized it in an instant and cut it off.

I am emptying out my wallet NOW. I will report tomorrow evening.

CarolD

Yes...that is a good plan....
You also might drive a different route.

I used to take a Taxi home from work
only 6 blocks...
rather than walk by my favorite bars.

Keep in focus

givemestrength

Well, I can say it would be a totally different situation if I were outside of my domicile. If I were driving, it would be easy. If I knew I had a place to stay, I'm sure I would get tanked.

givemestrength

Well, that's a thought. I will have to plan an entirely ridiculous route, but it will be well worth it. I pass 4 gas stations on the way to work and 5 on the way home in a mere 5 miles each way, but I will figure it out. 5, 10 or even 15 more minutes home is better than 5, 10, or 15 less minutes alive because my liver has failed. I come from a family of alcoholics and I don't want to continue down this path.

parentrecovers

people, places and things. such a tough part, especially in early recovery. maybe take 5 minutes before you start home and read out of the big book? just a thought...

Anna

Yes, that's definitely what worked for me. I had to change my routines and patterns. It really, really helped because once the pattern was broken for a few days, it seemed like my mind shifted into a gentler place.