nytepassion

Codependency = Manipulation


The Codependent calls the ex "just to see how you are doing".....
True Meaning: "Maybe I can get him/her to show feelings for me...."

The Codependent sends a card "just to say I'm thinking of you"
True Meaning: "Maybe he/she will see how thoughtful I am, jar him/her into rethinking about me....."

The Codependent drives by the ex's house/work/favorite hangout,etc with new bf/gf
True Meaning: "Maybe he/she will get jealous....possibly come back...."

The Codependent sends the ex "old love letters, pictures, etc", because they no longer have "meaning" to The Codependent...
True Meaning: "Maybe these will resurrect his/her old feelings for me....

The Recovering Codependent sets the other free, by detaching without "hooks"....and therefore sets themselves free in the process.

Relinquishing the other to be happy even without you....is freeing yourself.

Author Unknown

marle

I have sent my daughter pictures of herself before her addiction hoping that they will make her want to get clean. Probably all that accomplished was to make her feel worse about herself. Marle

Wascally Wabbit

Excellent.

cece

What's wrong with doing all that?
Just kidding! You hit it on the head. Dang! Especially the calling for alternative reasons. I am a pro at that one!

Autumn02

Thank You so much for this!

Talk about the story of my life.

<3s

Elana

I used to do a lot of this.. not all of it but a lot. I wasn't even aware of it. I used manipulation to hget people to do all sorts of things and was often successful (not just significant others.. a LOT of people!).

My life is so good now that I have ceased and desisted this in all aspects of my life.

I decided that I just do not care what people do and I really don't (unless they are hurting me). If they are hurting me I put them on notice if it is appropriate. If it continues, I walk away.. and honestly.. I have NO problem walking away from any person these days.

I guess all those years of walking away from myself taught me how to walk away... and recovery taught me not to walk away from myself.

caileesnana

I wish I'd known this 5 years ago, I would certainly have done a lot of things differently.
thanks!
susan

wayconfused

DITTO for me cailee... I wish I was just strong enogh to keep away from my ah. cause no matter what I try he still gets me to do things I hate...

Jerzy007

cinderellawkids

Guilty.
Atleast Im humble enough to admit it and change my ways