angie9

silly title for a thread isnt it but I dont know how I should word it. I have being drinking on and off not hitting it actually I cant! I actually feel worse than ever if I try and reach the limit Im normally used to. I bought three bottles of wine last monday ended up tipping one unpopened one out out and the 3/4s of the other bottle drinking just one. Hubby is medicated and is actually happy hes being councelled about his childhood in which he says the phschiatrist says plays an important part to how he is now ( he had a cruel up bringing) I just want everyone to know I will get back to being sober and that I know its time. Ill lurk here as I do everyday still feel very flat like Im in a dream and Im running on like auto pilot :0(
Ang

Pilgrim

Good morning ang. I am so pleased to hear from you and happy to hear something has been done about your hubby's anger. I hope the cycle will be broken because he has been happy before.

I was wondering whether you were trying to stop because he wants to control your drinking? Maybe you could tell us a bit more about what happens to you when you drink. Sometimes, we drink in difficult situations and that's ok. To be able to tip out the wine shows incredible strength. I don't think I could have done that when I was still using.

I hope you will have some time to take care of you today hun. I will be thinking of you.

parentrecovers

angie, i was just thinking about you and mentioned that i wished you'd check in. i appreciate your honesty, and i hope you can keep reaching out towards your recovery.

hugs, k

calfritch

hi angie - i hope you can get on the road to recovery, it sounds like you are so I wish you all the best and keep us posted!!

angie9

hi thanks steph and parentrecovers. Its funny if I drink I have a "time" when I drink if that time goes over I lose the desire to drink Hubby used to tell me I couldnt drink so I did if people say no Im not allowed to drink Im worse ( Im a little **** actually) I find that I will drink if Im alone if theres people around me the desire is not as strong. I really hope that this is a truning point for him as hes never had to actually deal with his problems or temper .
I dont know weather Im being unrealistic but prehaps things will get better

Pilgrim

Angie - so while you are drinking you come to a time to stop and you stop because you don't want to drink anymore? Is that true?

Are you wanting to stop to please hubby?

He is telling people you can't drink and so other people won't let you. That sounds like part of the abuse and control and you may be drinking as a reaction to that.

I guess I just hope that if you want to stop, you are doing it for (((Angie))) and not to please hubby. Do you want to stop for you?

Sorry for so many questions!