krhea75

Well, my son came home Sunday night because he had court the next day. He took the bus home, and was home for about an hour before he took off. He informed me that now he is emancipated (which by the way was done only so that he could go to the oxford house) he didn't have to follow my rules. We had a big argument, he left and didn't come home until 2. He is only 17, but I'm sure he feels like he has been on his own for a while. He has spent 5 months in the last year at rehab, followed by a three week stay at the Oxford house. There were no signs of using, but he was pretty rebellious.

At the preliminary hearing, they decided that there was probable cause to pursue the case. His lawyer thinks they can plead it down to just a possession case so that it won't go on his permanent record. So as far as that goes, I feel okay. It was just his attitude which is typical for most boys at that age. But when he is an addict on top of that it adds even more reason for concern.

I found myself thinking, go back to the oxford house..just leave. Even though I miss him, I can't stand to have him around. Such a whirlwind of feelings. I did try to not engage in arguments, but I'm just so tired of being angry a t him. Sigh...
krhea

pjbs55

krhea,
sending you hugs & prayers your way. if he is able to go back to the oxford house i would take him & tell him you will see him at his next court date. i know easier said than done. stay strong, take care of you
hugs

parentrecovers

i feel the same way about my daughter staying at home, krhea - way too much drama...

hugs, k

greeteachday

I suspect the probable cause result is a good thing...the longer this takes to play out the better, yes? That way he may stay focused on spending time at the Oxford House and soaking up more recovery experiences.

Don't feel guilty...it is healthy for you not to be in that front row seat of the drama. Far easier to love from a distance. Early recovery and early recovery for a teen especially is such a roller coaster. Hugs

lil516

Hopefully he is back at Oxford House now....

I know what you mean about the drama...we recently went thru a mini drama with my RAS and it left me exhausted....(getting too old for this...LOL)

I hope things have quieted down again....

caileesnana

I do MUCH better w/ my daughter not around reminding me of everything everyday!!! I've heard 6 months to a year before the brain functions "right" again. My AD hasn't made it a year for me to say if I believe it or not!

:sorry
susan

BrokenBridges24

Ok... Sorry... Negative Nelly is in the house today...

Question: Why is he out until 2am and allowed to come back in the house?

That to me is cause for concern… I would be thinking..Where is he all that time? If he is out that late I would have locked the door after midnight and say sorry... my HOME buddy. Sucks to be you, and having to sleep on the front porch. Sorry but I would not put up with his disrespectful behavior. Yeah kids will be kids and they will rebel but out until 2am at 17? No way would I have let him waltz back in.

Sorry I do not to be negative Nelly, I really do not but I have questions on what he is doing that late.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I really am. Just ignore me... I am in a mood and my life is not any different. I am being a coach on the side line. I will shut up now. Tee hee

((((MAJOR HUGS))))

-Broken :praying

Jwife22

(((khr))) Big giant squishy hugs for you.

HKAngel24

One of the addicts in my life is my 19 year old cousin. She was adopted (mother was a crack addict) and my aunt and uncle brought her into a loving environment. Recently upon turning 18 she began dating a man ten years older than her, dropped out of high school and began using.

They had similar problems with her.
Addicts have this vortex that they can pull us into and I believe that is OUR disease, the part of us that feels as though it is going insane and unable to cope. I understand the drama and as I always here Ann say -- it is so difficult to have perspective or to do well (for ourselves) when we have a front row seat to the addict. I think that you are amazing for knowing that it's pointless to engage in a battle that will only end in a deeper exhaustion f or you.

My thoughts are with you.

hope213

i miss my a.s. & he lives only 25 miles away. there are times that want to invite him over but i do not push it. he knows the way when he is ready. i have really detached myself from him since he got out of prison in sept. he will b going back & i know it will b much easier on me if i have not been in close contact with him. it is better this way. i have found peace with him or without him being high.there have been no middle of the night calls. everybody has gotten to the point where they do not tell me anything. i like it that way.it is none of my business & i have no control.

rahsue

When my AS was in the Army, I thanked God for boot camp, when he went to Cuba (thanked God it wasn't Iraq) I was thrilled he was gone for another year. I too missed him but the drug war at my house was gone and oh what a feeling that was.
So once again you're not alone in your thinking.

Lobo

I know it is hard having them live at home. It is also hard when they have no other home to go to. At least he can go back to the Oxford house. It is not ideal having my daughter live with me. You tend to know more than you want to know because it is in your face. I agree it is much more peacful when they live elsewhere.

You are in a hard place because he is 17 and just being a rebellious teen sometime. That in itself is hard to control. You want to leave your door open even if he breaks curfrew because you don't want him roaming the streets, especially when he is so young. I understand.

Hugs..........Lo