veronicaminc

Life has not been the easiest, and my living situation at current does not promote much of a healthy environment. Today I am crying over and over again because I feel so ALONE. I mean I am living with a man who told me when I came out of rehab on May 22, 2007 that he wanted to help me out. Help me get my life back together. However, the rules have most certainly changed. At best my assmption is that he too is quite a confused sort. The issues at hand are that if I don't grant him sexual favors then he feels as if "none of it is worth it", that is of course in his words. I have told me over and over again that I do not want to be with sexually, and when I suggested that I did not want to be in a relationship with him he then began to treat me ever so badly. Calling my friends, telling them that they should help me get out of here. Verbally abusing me on a daily basis because his ego is shot. I have not car now because mine has died. I depend on him to take me to/from work since I live in a community where there is really not mass transit. Everything I've needed in the past, I have had to rely on him for. Well I have since got a job, and I have been gainfully employed for the last 3 weeks, and trying to figure out HOW to get out. Any suggestions? I have three (3) cats which I have had for almost 6 years, and they are with me in the house that I am now in. I feel mostly terrible everyday, and I try to avoid him whenever possible. I actually had sex with him last weekend because I just didn't want to go through the abuse, and the fighting which takes place on a regular basis. I am not using, although I did use once but I do continue to go to my outpatient program. In fact, I am going tonight and I am going to speak to my counselor in regard to WHAT TO DO about getting OUT! I just needed to share. Thanks.

CarolD

Welcoem to SR....

I think being honest with your counselor is an excellent idea.
There are resources for abused women in most areas.

Glad you found us...keep posting

Anna

Here is a link for a Women's Shelter in your area. Please go there and get help. There are resources to help you get started on your own.

Bethany House
102 Whitehouse Ave
Roosevelt, NY 11575, USA

(516) 868-6866


http://www.bethanyhouseny.org/

Rowan

I'm glad you found us, Veronica, and hope you get some help. Hang in there.

miss communicat

Dear Veronica,


I too am glad you found us! You can get help and suggestions from the people Anna posted, and keep sharing with us here. We care about you.

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time and I send you lots of positive energy to help carry you through it to the light on the other side of this situation.

bobby408

Hi Veronica!

You are certainly going through a lot. First off, you need to stay sober. Second, do not do ANYTHING to jeopardize your job. Then you need to save, save, save and get a car! This will give you more flexibility for yourself and less reliance on this guy. Once you get a car, and save about 2 months worth of rent, you find a decent place and move. Remember, we are all here for you. Life has its difficulties ,but with patience, the light of life will arise. Hang in there. Stay sober. We love you!

Abe Aussi

St_Kurt

I had a situation last summer in which I needed to keep my medical student externship at a clinic nearly 3 hours from my home. I was supposed to be living with my parents (for the first time in 17 years) and they were supposed to be recovered addict/alcoholics.

They lied to me.

The situation became so abusive, unstable, and scary that I had to leave. Unfortunately I was left with the choice: go home and lose my job or keep my job and find a temporary place to live. As a student with gazillions of loans, I am below the poverty level and my job paid very little. Hotels were out as they cost more than my wage.

I spent two weeks living in my car while I spent my lunch breaks calling various domestic violence services. Finally I ended up in a shelter for a few nights, they hooked me up with a homeless caseworker, and though them I got a room at a YMCA for $80 a week. It was small, I shared a bathroom with 10 other women, and I was in (of all places) Kenosha Wisconsin. But it was a place of my own and I grew to like it there. I lived simply: no television, no kitchen, just books and a job.

I actually have fond memories of last summer and lessons I learned. And I kept my job.

If you're willing to do anything to help yourself, there are always options.

~SK

leeside

Hi Veronica

He probably got addicted to having sex with you and is showing signs of withdrawal symptoms. You still shouldn't have to be verbally abused for withholding his doc (sex) from him. Perhaps you should contact a womens shelter to see if you can go there to get away from the verbal abuse. HTH

scaredykat

Hi veronica. Welcome to SR. I'm glad you found us. I hope you can get some help at a shelter or woman's Y. It's good you have a counselor to talk too about this.

Barb