justjo

It was my neice's 18th Birthday on Saturday and her mother (my sister) turned up to her party (at her dads place, where she now lives) unannounced/uninvited totally drunk. My neice rang me distraught that she was embarrassed infront of all her friends and cousins. The sad part was she had given her a birthday card - my neice said it looked like a six year old had written on the front of it in real big writing. She was that drunk she had actually forgotten her present, so she turned up again tonight trying to force her way into the house with the present. I tried to talk it through with my neice, its hard for the kids, worse still their mother cant see what she is doing. Will she ever see it?

CatsPajamas

JJ,

She might see it and she might not. Remember, your sister's disease is running her life and making her choices for her right now. Your niece is a lucky young lady since she has YOU in her life. Giving her a safe place to talk and ask questions and express her frustration is the best gift you can give her!

Have you spoken to her about Al Anon or Ala teen? That's another wonderful place for her to learn more about the disease of alcoholism, and how it has affected her life.... and perhaps she can learn to separate her mother from the disease.

Hugs
Cats

Janitw

I remember so many times my xah ruined the kids birthday parties....it is sooo sad that this child is experiencing this. This is the kind of reality that will make a kid "see" the horrors involved in addiction and take the necessary steps to ensure that they themselves never go there. My heart goes out to your niece hun...thank the Lord that you are there for her..

denny57

I would suggest some sort of peer group, Alateen, Al-Anon, etc. Having others to talk to who have lived or are living with the disease really helps.

I'm sorry her birthday was ruined. I had no idea how common that was - AH did manage to ruin every single one (17 of them) while we were together until the last year, when I had some Al-Anon in me and went out and celebrated with my friends for the day. That was lovely.

justjo

It is a cruel addiction. What we have been through is unbelievable and uncontrollable. We are all trying to help each other with this and yes I take them to meetings. We have only found a place that is once a month though so far. My neice and nephew now are ashamed or as she said to me, its not the mum I know. She cant understand why she does the silly things she does and sometimes its even difficult for me emotionally to give the right answers.
My sisters trouble is that she cant be without a bloke, so basically its a new one every few months and the kids hate that. These guys just buy the booze and all the rest, therefore she will not even think of recovery at this stage. Heck, she has lost everything.

rawr_x

i wonder the same thing everyday of my life except with my dad. ive started giving up my hope. my prayers are with you and the kids. i hope things get better