Aysha

When I was working at my not so glamorous job last night. I got to thinking.
Man..I should be on a career path by now. But here I am stuck at this dead end job...Busting my ass making someone else look good. I should be alot further in my life than I am.
I should have been something. I should have went to college and had the big career with good credit and a house and car and the whole american dream life. I could have. I was given the opportunity many times as I got into my teenage years and well into my 20s. Everything handed to me.
I chose to do drugs and be a slacker instead. I wasted my honers I had in high school but decided to be a loser fresh out of school.
But you know what.
As I was sitting there mopping a flor last night and sweating my ass off cleaning up after people. I first felt like a failure and was a little depressed at how my life has turned out.
But then again. I got thinking about where I was a few months ago and for the past 15 years. What my life was before this night of a hard honest days work.
And you know after I started looking at it like that. I felt proud to be in my **** job.
Because I was making a living on ym own. I was doing whatever I jad to do to survive. And best of all. I was clean and sober and on the path to recovery.

I have the best family I could ever hope for. We get by and have what we need and then some. I have my sanity..my pride...my dignity...my life again.
I have a purpose for the first time in so many years.

And that to me is better than any big shot job or big fancy house any day.

Just a thought.

Life can be simple and be so rewarding.

Astro

God I loved reading this Trish!

I've had a great job for many years that pays well, but what I enjoy more than my work is emptying the trash and cleaning the restrooms at my AA hall. There's nothing more satisfying for the soul than humble service and gratitude for the gifts we're given in recovery.

Once again, I'm very proud of you. It's an honor to walk the same path in recovery.

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Trish,

Your posts now make me sooo very happy..you've really come a long way and are well on the way to a life that you can be proud of!!!

It's just awesome to share it with you..thanks.

Karen

Jomey

Thanks for sharing that, Chiy...it's really great you are able to see your gifts so clearly!

GlassPrisoner

I saw this And though Oh Oh

Then I read And I though Noooooooooo, that's how I though when I started drinking again !!!

Then I read

*whew*

Scared me there

You've got the right atitude. Gratitude !

GrouchoTheCat

I spent the day sweeping and cleanig up at a construction site yesterday, for minimum wage, and you know, I got paid at the end of the day. Cash. Not very much mind you but I was down to my last $7.00 and I needed it.

Yep, I am grateful that someone hired me.

I'll look for better work, but at least I'll survive.

Grateful, yes.

Ted

marle

My husband recently was layed off unexpectedly. Quite a shock to him, but he is making the best of it. Shrink wrapping boats and working his a** off. But it is honest work and he is doing it. Same to you Chiy. It is not the work you do but the person you are that is what is important. I would give anything if my daughter just worked. Instead she lives off other people. And she was, like you, given every opportunity (college paid for, etc.) to succeed. The price of addiction, huh? Hugs and keep doing the next right thing. Hugs, Marle

kelsh

I was trained as a practical nurse through a class the Employment Office offered for low income people. My husband had been injured on the job and had been in the hospital six months. I loved my work and worked in several hospitals as we moved but after several years my depression and alcoholism took over and I wasn't even looked at as a possible employee at that time.

I did get hired at an Elderly Chore Service for senior citizens in their own homes. I cleaned house, did laundry, washed dishes, and ran errands & grocery shopped for these people. They eventually made me take a look at myself and how my life was at a dead end. They were still going strong after many years of caring for families. I

I was still doing this job when I went to get help for my depression and alcoholism. It was part time and a low income but my daughter and I got by.

A year after I quit drinking I went back to college on the Pell Grant and some other Grants available for single moms..at age 40+. I worked half a day and went to school in late afternoon/evening. I earned a BA Degree in Psychology and from there went on to a job at the County Mental Health, again working with the Elderly. I worked myself up to a Geriatric Mental Health counselor and loved my job.

I had no idea I could do this. My ex-husband was shocked and of course wanted me back now that I made bigger bucks. But no thanks. He would never be a part of my life again and he knew that.

Interesting what we can do for ourselves if we have the initiative to do it. I was still fighting my depression but attended AA for my alcoholism and believe it or not I found time to go to a meeting at least three times a week. I was a busy Mom and my daughter was a hand full at that time but we made it through the hard times. :ghug3


kelsh

chicago

wow ive felt those feelings time and time again. when i was out there, those feelings haunted and crippled me. only recently in sobriety have i gotten to the point where i am grateful for what i have. truth be told, im 27 and from a great family. i grew up with everything. here i sit at 27 and once in a blue moon ill be upset that i dont have a drivers license and a condo yet. never mind the fact i was a homeless heroin addict 21 months ago! i have absolutely everything i need right now! its really about what i have spiritually. from a material possession standpoint, i have everything! but i have the disease of never enough. so im working full time, finally walking with my BA in spring, and regularly attending AA and hitting the gym. im going to new york city next week! wow, i cant believe how far ive come! in the new future ill get my drivers ID back so i can drive my car again. im quitting work in december to partner up with my dad and his business. ill probably even have the condo within 1-2 years....i just need to stay sober and ill get everything i need when God wants me to have it. this program is making my wildest dreams come true. im SO BLESSED.

but yes, i used to feel like that 24/7 when i was out there. thankfully ive been relieved of those feelings.

barb dwyer

I am not my job.
I am not my job status.
I am not the value of my car. (ha! good thing)
I am not my body.
I am not possessions.
I am not the reflection I see in the eyes of others.
I am not God.
I am not my thoughts.

I am the thinker ... of my thoughts.
I am ... what HP is making me.
At long last.

Thanks Chy for this! goood thread.

Rusty Zipper

love ya!

Missymae737

Chiy,

While I began to read your thread , I started to feel, OH NO....

Then you turned something negative to something positive and POWERFUL...

Sobriety is most important and the simple things of life we can appreciate....

I am proud of you....

Impurrfect

Chiy -

Sometimes, I think you read my mind......

Before I went full steam into crack, I was an RN. Had the convertible, nice place to live, etc. Lost it ALL.

Now I work as a server (waitress) in a restaurant making $3.13/hr + tips. But you know what? I love it! I meet a lot of great people, make just enough $$ to pay my car payment, rent and other bills and it feels GREAT!!

The best news is that it looks like I will be able to get my nursing license back (with restrictions), but it may take a while. Funny thing is, even if (when) I go back to nursing I will probably still keep my server job part time because I enjoy it.

It's great to hear you so positive. Yep, earning money for an honest night's work (I work nights too) is something to feel good about.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Pinkcuda

I love my sober life. I'm not going to waste one second of it wondering what things might have been like or what might have happened. In the serenity prayer we ask for the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. The past, or where we went left when we should have gone right are gone. It will never come back and can't be changed. We can learn from it and use today as the beginning of what will soon become our new past life. Make it a better one!

calfritch

Nice words Pink! I couldn't agree more. In my ten days sober i have found myself thinking a lot of the past and saying to myself "if only i did this instead...." and that just makes me want to drink so I switch tracks and be thankful for today and worry about today only.

SaTiT

I get ya...if i would have spent maybe a fraction of what
i slaped into a slot machines..mmm around $50,000
even within a couple of years ago..and invested money
into realstate like my mom wanted me to do...I would be a millionair
by now and not actaully have to work, work and just drag my ass
out bed each day to go collect rent.lol


Now i have to get a suckie ass job and hopefully I'll be able
to save enough money to at least build a house on a piece
of land that my mother saved for her hard headed kid.

I don't think she's going to let me collect rent on property
she owns in the near future.lol