Language of Letting Go - October 12
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Language of Letting Go - October 12
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Being Gentle with Ourselves During Times of Grief
The process of adapting to change and loss takes energy. Grief is draining, sometimes exhausting. Some people need to "cocoon for transformation," in Pat Carnes's words, while going through grief.
We may feel more tired than usual. Our ability to function well in other areas of our life may be reduced, temporarily. We may want to hide out in the safety of our bedroom.
Grief is heavy. It can wear us down.
It's okay to be gentle with ourselves when we're gong through change and grief. Yes, we want to maintain the disciplines of recovery. But we can be compassionate with ourselves. We do not have to expect more from ourselves than we can deliver during this time. We do not even have to expect as much from ourselves as we would normally and reasonably expect.
We may need more rest, more sleep, more comfort. We may be more needy and have less to give. It is okay to accept ourselves, and our changed needs, during times of grief, stress, and change.
It is okay to allow ourselves to cocoon during times of transformation. We can surrender to the process, and trust that a new, exciting energy is being created within us.
Before long, we will take wings and fly.
God, help me accept my changed needs during times of grief, change, and loss.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Being Gentle with Ourselves During Times of Grief
The process of adapting to change and loss takes energy. Grief is draining, sometimes exhausting. Some people need to "cocoon for transformation," in Pat Carnes's words, while going through grief.
We may feel more tired than usual. Our ability to function well in other areas of our life may be reduced, temporarily. We may want to hide out in the safety of our bedroom.
Grief is heavy. It can wear us down.
It's okay to be gentle with ourselves when we're gong through change and grief. Yes, we want to maintain the disciplines of recovery. But we can be compassionate with ourselves. We do not have to expect more from ourselves than we can deliver during this time. We do not even have to expect as much from ourselves as we would normally and reasonably expect.
We may need more rest, more sleep, more comfort. We may be more needy and have less to give. It is okay to accept ourselves, and our changed needs, during times of grief, stress, and change.
It is okay to allow ourselves to cocoon during times of transformation. We can surrender to the process, and trust that a new, exciting energy is being created within us.
Before long, we will take wings and fly.
God, help me accept my changed needs during times of grief, change, and loss.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Or However You Spell It....
Join Date: Sep 2005
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Originally Posted by Ann 
Grief is heavy. It can wear us down.
We may need more rest, more sleep, more comfort. We may be more needy and have less to give. It is okay to accept ourselves, and our changed needs, during times of grief, stress, and change.
This is where I find myself once again.......healing the wounds of another failed relationship.......another loss. Every time I start to spread my wings, someone or something comes along and clips them.
It's nice to know that not only is it ok that we accept ourselves, but that others can still accept you as well........there are those especially here on this forum that really do understand.
This was a wonderful post to start my day with. ((Ann))
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Thanks, Loves. Recovery doesn't promise us that our lives will always be perfect, but it does promise us the tools and support to get through the hard times. It sounds like you have yours tools well polished and I hope that your journey through grief is healing and brief.
I had my own deep grief, when the time came that I had to accept that my son was full force into his addiction and that he very well may die there. It was one of the darkest times of my life, and a time of pain that I had to walk through before I could come out better as I began to heal.
I have never given up hope, that candle stays lit in my heart every day. But I have come to accept that it is all out of my hands and trust God to take care of him and give me the courage to accept whatever comes my way.
If your light begins to fade as you work through your grief, Loves, just know that we each are sharing our candles with you.
Hugs
I had my own deep grief, when the time came that I had to accept that my son was full force into his addiction and that he very well may die there. It was one of the darkest times of my life, and a time of pain that I had to walk through before I could come out better as I began to heal.
I have never given up hope, that candle stays lit in my heart every day. But I have come to accept that it is all out of my hands and trust God to take care of him and give me the courage to accept whatever comes my way.
If your light begins to fade as you work through your grief, Loves, just know that we each are sharing our candles with you.
Hugs
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