KERRYZZME

I just want to check in and say that ever since I went out... It seems like such a battle to come back. I started to drink (AGAIN) and take pills about 6 months ago, after 2 1/2 years being clean and sober. Now it is so hard to just put a couple days together sober. I have 3 days today and this is a tough day. I do attend meetings and I am going to start an out-patient program tomarrow, ( 3 days a week).Drinking and using CANNOT BE AN OPTION for me anymore. PERIOD. I just joined here after not being on-line for the last year or so. I used to feel so comfortable when I would come to this site, and I am glad to have remembered it after all this time. I know I will get alot of support from all of you guys... and I just wanted to say thank you for being here... thank you.

tanyapmc

Hi Kerry....I am glad your here and posting. that is great that you are going to an outpatient program. Hang in there! As you know it does get easier.

Pinkcuda

I see a lot of repeat offenders. I see them here, I see them in A.A. and I see them in rehab. It seems like they enjoy quitting. They must have gotten so much enjoyment out of it that it becomes a weekley thing. I must have missed something along the way. I didn't enjoy it. It was difficult, painful and humiliating. It's not something I would ever want to go through again.
There is always a distinct possibility that I might drink again as with all of us. I keep in mind that if I drink again I will have to quit again. I have accepted the fact that I cannot control it and there is no room for complacency in my life. Ever! I will always remember the feelings I had wandering around seemingly lost and my life having no real meaning for the first month or two. That keeps me sober.

Missymae737

Pinkcuda,

I don't think anyone who really values life enjoys getting off the path of recovery...It is a slow decent to Hell...

Thank God all these wonderful people here did not VIEW me as enjoying relapse...

Your words seem a little harsh...

GlassPrisoner

Good luck to you and God Bless.

And thank you for reminding me what will happen to me if I decide to drink again.

One last piece of advice. Don't let your pride get in the way of going back to AA. It happens. I don't condone it, but we'd rather see you come back in than never come back.

dave47

Best wishes Kerry,you've done it before and you can do it again.Your story is a big help in reminding us to keep our guard up,many on here will be a big help to you.

Alive

Thanks for sharing and for returning..

keep posting, you're right, this place is wonderful.

ANGELINA243

I totally understand how you feel--I was fortunate enough to be given another chance this last time, which hasn't been easy>but at least I'm putting up a fight against my own "stinkin' thinkin' " rather then immediately give into it. I didn't like to feel pain--any kind of pain, whether it be pain of starting over (once again) in recovery or pain while going through withdrawal.

Glad that you have another chance also. I wish you well and hope that you find a recovery method that works for you this time. God bless!

Snopup

Been there, done that, did it again.

Hopefully I think I've found a new awareness about my problem and the life I want to live. I, personnally, have found a new sense of freedom and happiness. Pink cloud?

Nevertheless, I need to stick it out for a few decades and see what happens in the end.

Pinkcuda

Sure I was a little harsh. It wasn't abusive however. The intentions were well meant.
At some point, saying things like "You keep trying, and I'll keep praying for you" have no value. It's basically giving permission to fail and giving your blessing for it. If we get in the habit of doing that, the cycle will never end.
I'll be the first to admit that it's very difficult. Is it more difficult than the mysery that comes with relapse? Does the desire to drink again trump our desire to quit! If so, we need to dig deeper. I know what worked with me and that was a hard line aproach. I'll pass it on to anyone that has a desire to quit. Harsh? Yes it was. Was it more harsh than a persons next "Rock Bottom" Probably not.

tanyapmc

I know a girl that went out (back to drinking and drugging) over the weekend. Her funeral is this week.

CAPTAINZING2000

We never shoot our wounded.

If, you learned something by trying it another time, it wasn't a lost cause.