cece

I was at an al-anon meeting today and the topic was the 10th step as I am just beginning and am on the first steps I chose to just listen today. Especially since I was beginning the fourth step. (I have a journal and everything!) "sarcasm". But as I listened I begin to think I have tried to start the 4th step a bunch of times. sometimes i think I don't start because i am afraid, sometimes its because i'm not sure where to start,how far back am i supposed to go? this could be a lot of Homework! and as I was sitting there I tried to start it in my head. I began searching and the first things i found in my heart was that I am angry at my husband and my son because they have problems that are causing me hurt , and still worry about what they are doing and want so much to get in their little heads! So as you can tell by reading this, that I am obviously not past steps 2 and 3!! So I have decided to focus on TRYING ...AGAIN!! to give it over to my Higher Power and TRUST my HP to walk with them instead of me! Actually that didn't come out right. He can walk with me also, But he's on his own with them! thats okay! Baby Steps seem to be my Mantra these days!! just thought I'd share my funny head journey!

greeteachday

Cece, I'm not sure when you started working the steps...If it was around the time you started here, you sure are on the speed course! I've danced with the 4th step for almost a year. I've done "mini 4th's" for particular situations or in step work at Naranon, but to really do it...well, I too think too much on it and don't take the plunge to do it in writing...something I think is pretty important. I also find I get to a place where I am all set, then something happens in my life where I focus on surrendering yet one more time. So please know, you aren't alone! I suspect part of my inventory will be exploring my perfectionist tendencies. I think I want to have steps 1-3 "perfect"...geez, I'll never get there if I think that way, lol.

I guess one thing to keep in mind is that the 4th step is "only" a searching and fearless moral inventory...It isn't about making amends yet, or forgiving or giving up the anger or sadness..."Just" taking the inventory.

Your signature line reminds me that I need to land the plane too Hugs and prayers

HKAngel24

Cece-

They have a workbook available on the AlAnon site or on EBay that actually guides you through the 4th Step. It's worth checking out. I don't have one myself yet, but I know it breaks down the 4th step into different areas and supplies alot of prompts to get you thinking.

Hope this helps!

pjbs55

My sponsor told me to make a list and for every bad thing to put a postive thing next to it. If you run out of postive than stop. I had trouble with this step but her advise helped me to get past it. On the 5th step at the meeting they said making admends meant making changes you didn't have to say you are sorry. Hope this helps some