willIeverstop

I've been an addict now for 12 years on and off, more on then off, and I'm ready for something more out of my life. Something theat my 4 kids can be proud of. I gave rights over to my mom about 5 yrs ago, i cleaned up started collage, and got them back, three years ago. Then out of no where BAM! I gotta go get a fix. Now Its like thats all I want to do (for a yr now). I never remember being this bad before. I love my babie with all my might, and they don't deserve this and I know that I am the poster woman for rehab, but if I go there, then I would have to telll my mother that I have a problem again, and she'd take my babis once again. I know I'm better then this dang evil thing that has a hold on me, but before I realize that I'm running down a shot I'm already doing it. Everyday I say nomore then usually I'm then first to say got any, I'm better than this I know I am. I ws raised with a little bit of value, so I dont understand why I do this. Its BADBADBAD and I hate it. I know if I cont at the rate that I'm going then I'll loose my kids in less then a year, have sumthing ajax dont wash off in 2 if I dont already, and die before i hit 35. I need help. I dont know what to do.

angibaby

have you tried na meetings? you obviously can't do this alone. you know you are going to lose your children if you don't get help. i know there is no way i can do it alone. you just might have to go into rehab if you can't quit on your own. how did you stop last time? please keep posting here. being in the midst of addiction is really hard, i know. i have been there. i am coming out the other side, and you can too. i am praying for you. angie

leeside

Looks like your mother is going to have to take care of them until you get clean again. That is what it amounted to the last time. It would "probably" be best for the kids.

I know, you think I am on your mothers' side. I am not. I am just looking at this with a more sober mind.

I hope you will do what is best for you and your kids.

CarolD

Welcome to SR...

SaTiT

I belive everybody else already knows you have problems of sorts.
Denial is a pain in the butt , we've all been there.