odaat

I'm struggling at the moment, feel like the bottom is going to fall out.

Things I am doing:
- going to five meetings a week
- trying to get a lift to meetings on the other nights and some lunch time meetings
- praying
- reading the big book
- trying to meditate
- I'm going to text a few alcoholics later
- trying to stay in the now (unsucessfully)

What other things can I do right now to help? I don't think I can get to a meeting until Sunday night.

Any ideas or do I just keep doing what I'm doing and pray that it works (it feels like I'm heading toward another breakdown).

Anna

Those are great things to be doing.

I would suggest exercising of some kind - walk/hike, do something that makes you move.

Listen to music. Music has the power to change your mood.

Be kind to yourself.

stone

Are you enjoying the meetings?

odaat

The ones where I manage not to cry all the way through, yes.

I think I'd be alright if I was at a meeting any time I'm awake. I don't know what to do between meetings though.

Aysha

I am going through it too.
But I have to cut off all negativity out the gate and tell myself..I am not going to get high.
I cant.
I wont..And I have to find something to keep my mind occupied. I dont care what it is. If it distracts away from the thought of using. I am going with it.
I have to kick myself in the butt to get going alot...but once I do it's all good.

odaat

I don't think I'm going to drink (or over eat) but I sure want to. Just want it to be a little bit easier and not so horrible. I don't want to have another breakdown.

Rusty Zipper

odaat, thats a great check list...

you can do it!

xxoo, rz

Aysha

It seems to be getting harder for me. The urges are longer and the thoughts come more often.
I seriouslt have to start talking myself out of it. Any other time I wouldnt even give it another thought. I would make a good excuse and be off.
I cant do that anymore.
But at the end of the day..And lots of times I am a miserable *****..But I know I made it another day.
And it doesnt seem so hard then.
But getting through it sometimes is awful.
But the feeling of accomplishment farmore outweighs the struggle right now.

odaat

The feeling of accomplishment is fading for me. I just feel that I've been sober for so long, shouldn't it be a bit easier? Why is it still so hard?!

bugsworth

Odaat, Do you have any interest or hobbies you would like to persue?

After I gave up drinking, I started cooking...I mean really cooking...not just a chicken in the oven deal, I got books from the library and started experimenting with different foods. Some days I can get lost in a cake receipe. LOL I am now exploring healthy ways to cook foods that normally are high calorie. Knowledge about any subject is powerful.

I also started to read again, not just the big book. A good murder mystery can take you out of your head for hours.

Keep the faith...Keep fighting the good fight...you can do it!

stone

I am 3 months sober and finding it real hard right now too. I feel like I need a shake-up of some kind. Like a holiday or some kind of change.
Has it gone harder recently odaat?

odaat

I don't have any hobbies - I've not got the attention span or the motivation to persue anything. I can only just manage to do what I have to do, so I don't think I'd be able to do something purely for pleasure - I doubt I'd enjoy it anyway. I do try and watch a good TV program once a day, as my Doctor said that should help.

At the moment, all I can do is clean and talk on here, and then clean some more, and then cry. I just feel like I'm waiting for time to pass, as now is just hellish and I want it to end.

odaat

Its been hard all along. I'm 10 months sober now, and it feels like every day has been a struggle.

Its exactly the same as it was when I was drinking, only now I have to be awake and feel every moment of torture.

I know I can do this, but I don't know if I want to. It doesn't feel worth it.

stone

Could it be depression? Whether from your circumstances or a chemical thing?
You said 'breakdown', did you mean a nervous/emotional breakdown?

Missymae737

Trust us, it is worth it..Each time out there threatens our sanity, our life...

Thinking of you and I know you can get through this...

bugsworth

I am sorry you are in such pain. It may very well be as Stone says a true depression. Have you spoken with your doctor about the possibility that it may be clinical?

odaat

I've had a couple of nervous breakdowns, and have been treated for depression since I was 12.

I'm currently waiting on a referal for therapy and to see a specialist for medication. I've tried 3 lots of antidepressants unsucessfully.

I don't think I have any sanity left.

stone

I had what I consider a nervous breakdown myself, though alcohol and drugs played a part in it too.
Sounds like maybe you need to talk to your Doc again about the depression?
We both really need to remember that drinking/using will make things a hundred times worse. Its hard sometimes though.

odaat

All I can do is wait at the moment. I just need to know what to do between meetings and doctors appointments. There are just so many hours.

bugsworth

Odaat, All I can tell you is what I do...

I read...books and I devour anything I can find about addiction on the internet.

I take my dog for long walks.

I take long showers and give myself facials and paint my toenails. LOL I'm such a girly girl.

I cook and I clean.

I go shopping, mostly window but heck it gets me out!

I am learning to live again, and it is wonderful.