My husband is a donkey
My husband is a donkey
I am just ticked off again tonight! He came home from work DRUNK! My daughters friend was still here and talk about being humiliated! I am too intellegent to be with such an A$$!! I'm at a loss for words but can come up with 10,000 cuss words right now. He is laying about 5 ft. from me right now and he sounds like a CHAINSAW! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!! I'm thinking about smearing toothpaste all over his face and painting his toenails BRIGHT RED Wouldn't that be Lovely?
He really makes me sick to my stomach right now. Gotta spray him with some Bath and Body Works Body Spray too....He'll smell and look like a QUEEN! Maybe I'll paint his fingernails too and hide the polish remover.....HA! Wouldn't he look great at the cookout with the neighbors tomorrow
This made me laugh just picturing it in my head!!!!!
Man, I love this place!
2many2count
He really makes me sick to my stomach right now. Gotta spray him with some Bath and Body Works Body Spray too....He'll smell and look like a QUEEN! Maybe I'll paint his fingernails too and hide the polish remover.....HA! Wouldn't he look great at the cookout with the neighbors tomorrow
This made me laugh just picturing it in my head!!!!!
Man, I love this place!
2many2count
LOL! That is a new one on me! Too funny. I am glad you are here getting his sorry self off your mind.
One morning I patted Ward on the head and said "How ya feelin' this morning hon??" He didn't see the humor...
(((Hugs)))
JT
One morning I patted Ward on the head and said "How ya feelin' this morning hon??" He didn't see the humor...
(((Hugs)))
JT
Hey 2many - can you say Hee Haw? You have my sympathy. I know only too well what you are describing. However, glad to know you still have a sense of humour - you had me rolling! Perhaps throw a towel over his face so at least you don't have to look! As for the snoring - well, not sure what to suggest - a clothespin, perhaps?
Hope your night isn't completely ruined!
Love and hugs.
Hope your night isn't completely ruined!
Love and hugs.
I've tried the towel thing already....he just knocks it off. I put pillows over his face and it muffles the annoying sounds that come out of his mouth and nose. You guys should hear this. This would make me 5000.00 on America's Funniest Videos. That sound he makes through his nose and mouth at the same time. OH MY! Hee Haw! Hee Haw! Hee Haw!!
2many2count
2many2count
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
Hey 2many
I hear you.....lol It is so disgusting but I like your thinking. I say paint the toenails, spray the purfume, and maybe you could put some make up on him too......maybe that would stop the snoring........
Take care.
Many hugs,
Debbie
I hear you.....lol It is so disgusting but I like your thinking. I say paint the toenails, spray the purfume, and maybe you could put some make up on him too......maybe that would stop the snoring........
Take care.
Many hugs,
Debbie
When my husband is snoring loud in bed I have to roll him over. It is so loud and I know what you mean about that funny noise.How do they do that? Sometimes on the couch he starts choking on the food that he started to eat and passes out before swallowing. Dangerous, I know. I already saved his life one time when he was choking on a carrot that he didn't chew up properly after he had been drinking. My bedroom needs the purfume to get the smell of the beer breath mixed with chili peppers and who knows what else out. I am picturing the painted nails. You are too funny 2many!!!
Go ahead and go for it! It might scare him silly...ha ha!
Thanks for the ,
matters
Go ahead and go for it! It might scare him silly...ha ha!
Thanks for the ,
matters
Guest
Posts: n/a
LOL you guys are so funny. My A is programmed to go to the couch if he has been drinking. No way am I listening to all those noises. Yuck. And the smell!! I've always tried to think of things to do to mine too.lol I always get in his billfold and hide 20 bucks from him. The next day you'll see him looking through his billfold really puzzled, like "hhmmm where did I spend that money?" Hee hee, like to make him think he's losing his mind. Mean you say? Naw gotta have some fun messin with him.
2many,
LOL...Thank-you! I was so pissed last night because my husband was drinking. I got on the forum last night to vent, but came across your post. I was laughing so hard I stopped being so damn mad. So, when it came time to crawl in bed instead of thinking of the beer breath I was sleeping next to, I was still laughing....out loud, mind you. I really needed that! Sorry your night was so miserable. Have a great day and do something nice for yourself, and maybe go buy some new nail polish.
Hugs,
sunshine
LOL...Thank-you! I was so pissed last night because my husband was drinking. I got on the forum last night to vent, but came across your post. I was laughing so hard I stopped being so damn mad. So, when it came time to crawl in bed instead of thinking of the beer breath I was sleeping next to, I was still laughing....out loud, mind you. I really needed that! Sorry your night was so miserable. Have a great day and do something nice for yourself, and maybe go buy some new nail polish.
Hugs,
sunshine
((2many))
hey you made something funny out of a disgusting scene!
did you do it ??!! lol at the sight ! red nail polish - i luv it !
so sad, and yet if we dont look for humor we go stark raving!
Hope today is good
hugs
liddy
hey you made something funny out of a disgusting scene!
did you do it ??!! lol at the sight ! red nail polish - i luv it !
so sad, and yet if we dont look for humor we go stark raving!
Hope today is good
hugs
liddy
I din't do it last night because I was too tired from dealing with him so my son and I played Monopoly and we watched a movie called "The Others" with Nicole Kidman. Freaky movie. Anyhow I got him tonight and all is well for me but not for him. Life sucks when your drunk! For my husband anyway.....
Laughing all the way to the bank.....so I can get more nail polish.
2many2count
Laughing all the way to the bank.....so I can get more nail polish.
2many2count
I wonder if the video story would work, if they had to actually see themselves when they are passed out, making wierd noise etc, would'nt it give them a bit of a wake up call. My hubby used to tell me every morning that my gasping and choking at night kept him awake, worried, all night, he was quite convinced I was going to just stop breathing.......[maybe hoping.......... nah, thats being mean],
anyway he video'd me one night, it was a shock, I made an appointment with a doctor straight away and it turned out I had sleep-apnia [excuse bad spelling], I was actually forgetting to breath while asleep and then gasping for breath which caused me to choke, anyway not much to cure it except sleep in a different position, with pillows in a certain way, that was ages ago and I have'nt had a problem since, but I did not believe him till I saw the evidence, maybe if your hubby's see themselves as you see them it may help a bit.
Plus it could be really really funny when you need to have a good laugh.
anyway he video'd me one night, it was a shock, I made an appointment with a doctor straight away and it turned out I had sleep-apnia [excuse bad spelling], I was actually forgetting to breath while asleep and then gasping for breath which caused me to choke, anyway not much to cure it except sleep in a different position, with pillows in a certain way, that was ages ago and I have'nt had a problem since, but I did not believe him till I saw the evidence, maybe if your hubby's see themselves as you see them it may help a bit.
Plus it could be really really funny when you need to have a good laugh.
mean evil un-wifely thoughts
imagine drunk snoring belching farting husband in bed doing what he does best but you get it all on video.... red to/fingernails and all.... maybe a little makeup and some snide comments about how the perfume sweetens the air....and then the next day someone accidently puts in the VCR for the neighborhhod BBQ.... now that could be attractive....lol...
sorry ladies... My m-i-l is ging home tomorrow so I am feeling a little snippity... It's been a LONNNNNGGGGG 2 weeks....
I wouldnt play the video at a house party but I might consider playing it in the internet....heheheh (wicked evil wife that I am)
"the names of the persons in the following special feature have been changed to protect the guilty"
sorry ladies... My m-i-l is ging home tomorrow so I am feeling a little snippity... It's been a LONNNNNGGGGG 2 weeks....
I wouldnt play the video at a house party but I might consider playing it in the internet....heheheh (wicked evil wife that I am)
"the names of the persons in the following special feature have been changed to protect the guilty"
We must all do this and have our on Revenge of the Anons webpage......what a thought! That would be so FUNNY
All of our husbands getting humiliated like they've never humiliated us before. The jerks!
2many2count
You all are amazing people. You always know how to brighten my days!
All of our husbands getting humiliated like they've never humiliated us before. The jerks!
2many2count
You all are amazing people. You always know how to brighten my days!
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