Need advice coke/meth
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 3
Need advice coke/meth
Hi, I'm new to this forum. My friend has been doing coke since March, but recently we have concerns that he may be doing meth also.
We found a coffee grinder, and inside is white powder (we know that's coke) but it has some large crystals in it. And the last time I saw him high, he was very different, really bouncing off the walls and acting paranoid. But his eyes didn't dialate like I would expect on meth. I don't know what to think.
Is there a way to tell if the coke has meth in it? Is this a common practice to combine the two? Would it have come from his dealer, or do people grind the two together??
We confronted him, and he acted surprised and denied any meth use, but I don't believe a word he says about anything anymore.
He's on his way to detox right now, but I'm going through the house to make sure it's clean before he comes back (5-7 days)
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
We found a coffee grinder, and inside is white powder (we know that's coke) but it has some large crystals in it. And the last time I saw him high, he was very different, really bouncing off the walls and acting paranoid. But his eyes didn't dialate like I would expect on meth. I don't know what to think.
Is there a way to tell if the coke has meth in it? Is this a common practice to combine the two? Would it have come from his dealer, or do people grind the two together??
We confronted him, and he acted surprised and denied any meth use, but I don't believe a word he says about anything anymore.
He's on his way to detox right now, but I'm going through the house to make sure it's clean before he comes back (5-7 days)
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Addicts lie... it isn't personal.
Detox will help him - I pray that is enough.
If he returns without getting additional help, I would advise you protect yourself by hiding all valuables, all access codes to computers, online banking, atm cards, credit cards, portable electronics, cars, cell phones, wallets... you get the drift.
Meth is a hard one to kick - my kid did it, but it took her a long time and a lot of anxiety. Not to mention it nearly killed me.
Alanon helped me... and Naranon can help as well. You might try a few meetings to see if they can give you some additional information.
I wish you the best.
((hugs))
Detox will help him - I pray that is enough.
If he returns without getting additional help, I would advise you protect yourself by hiding all valuables, all access codes to computers, online banking, atm cards, credit cards, portable electronics, cars, cell phones, wallets... you get the drift.
Meth is a hard one to kick - my kid did it, but it took her a long time and a lot of anxiety. Not to mention it nearly killed me.
Alanon helped me... and Naranon can help as well. You might try a few meetings to see if they can give you some additional information.
I wish you the best.
((hugs))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 3
Thanks Sis,
It took months to get him to admit the coke, but now we suspect meth...and I'm really scared. He flew to FL to do detox, but if he doesn't admit to meth, then how can they treat him??
I need to find out if its meth or just coke. Is there a test that can be ordered to test the actual drug? He won't do a urine sample. We tried putting a pinch of the stuff in some urine (mine) but meth didn't show up, but maybe there wasn't enough meth in the pinch, or maybe it doesn't work that way.
It took months to get him to admit the coke, but now we suspect meth...and I'm really scared. He flew to FL to do detox, but if he doesn't admit to meth, then how can they treat him??
I need to find out if its meth or just coke. Is there a test that can be ordered to test the actual drug? He won't do a urine sample. We tried putting a pinch of the stuff in some urine (mine) but meth didn't show up, but maybe there wasn't enough meth in the pinch, or maybe it doesn't work that way.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 3
I know, using is using. He's been drawing lines as to what he 'would' and 'wouldn't' do as far as drugs are concerned, so we've been taken in by it. I'm sure the detox will test him. Thanks Anvil, for your honesty.
I'll start from the beginning:
He's the CEO of a start-up company. I'm his EA, but more than that; I'm his friend, and one of the very few.
Two years ago it was alcohol. It got so bad he ended up in hospital with sepsis and 'nearly died' (it was bad, but he was never on death's door.) That was Oct. By December, we made a stand (myself and his girlfriend) that if he didn't take Antibuse, we were going to leave him. It worked, and he's been sober ever since.
Then in March, he started with the coke. We're trying to run a company, and having him in meetings has become so awful, so embarrassing...he makes no sense, bouncing off the walls, can't finish a sentence, and people are noticing there's something very wrong.
So we, again, said he has to do something or we're outta there. Which isn't true, because we'd never turn our backs on the company or him. And now he's in detox, but we know it's just the beginning, and there will be relapses.
So hard...so damn hard to not be able to help...
I'll start from the beginning:
He's the CEO of a start-up company. I'm his EA, but more than that; I'm his friend, and one of the very few.
Two years ago it was alcohol. It got so bad he ended up in hospital with sepsis and 'nearly died' (it was bad, but he was never on death's door.) That was Oct. By December, we made a stand (myself and his girlfriend) that if he didn't take Antibuse, we were going to leave him. It worked, and he's been sober ever since.
Then in March, he started with the coke. We're trying to run a company, and having him in meetings has become so awful, so embarrassing...he makes no sense, bouncing off the walls, can't finish a sentence, and people are noticing there's something very wrong.
So we, again, said he has to do something or we're outta there. Which isn't true, because we'd never turn our backs on the company or him. And now he's in detox, but we know it's just the beginning, and there will be relapses.
So hard...so damn hard to not be able to help...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Okanagan BC
Posts: 328
HI Dans Friend, I am sorry you are going through this. It is very painful to watch some one you care about become a slave to drugs. I am afraid you have along road ahead of you if you choose to stay on it. You can be there for him but do not get caught up in it. Addicts lie. It is hard to think they would do it to the people they love but they do. Protect yourself financially. It is a hard lesson to learn that you can't help them quit. I hope he does well, but from my experience one time detox won't be enough...He has to be really erady for him, not becouse people wanted him to. Me x did everything his job and I required of him, but he did it for us, not for him. My prayers to him!
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Welcome Dans Friend...This is a long hard journey, but a rewarding one. We become as crazy and sick as the addict as we try to control the use, cover up, manipulate them into stopping. I'm glad you found SR and I would strongly encourage you and his girlfriend to get to some Narnaon meetings. If there is no Naranon in your area, try Alanon. The face to face support truly helps.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Originally Posted by dans friend 
Thanks Sis,
It took months to get him to admit the coke, but now we suspect meth...and I'm really scared. He flew to FL to do detox, but if he doesn't admit to meth, then how can they treat him??
I need to find out if its meth or just coke. Is there a test that can be ordered to test the actual drug? He won't do a urine sample. We tried putting a pinch of the stuff in some urine (mine) but meth didn't show up, but maybe there wasn't enough meth in the pinch, or maybe it doesn't work that way.
It took months to get him to admit the coke, but now we suspect meth...and I'm really scared. He flew to FL to do detox, but if he doesn't admit to meth, then how can they treat him??
I need to find out if its meth or just coke. Is there a test that can be ordered to test the actual drug? He won't do a urine sample. We tried putting a pinch of the stuff in some urine (mine) but meth didn't show up, but maybe there wasn't enough meth in the pinch, or maybe it doesn't work that way.
Honestly he'd be insane to put meth in a coffee grinder?... I cannot even imagine.
He would waste a lot doing that.
As an X-meth user that just sounds like a not very smart idea,
I didn't waste one spec of meth that was possible.
There is no need to put it in a coffee grinder.
(You sure he's not making it?)
But yea it does have crystals in it.
Coffee grinder doesn't make sense though.
That's my answer But I'm not sure why any of that matters.
I just answered because it seemed really important to you.
But just because I thought/think like that, doesn't meant he did.
If that is what he is doing, mixing the two together tell him
he's playing w/fire, that's how John Belushi died.
Maybe that's why he's putting it in a coffee grinder.
Who knows, like they said, active addicts are amazing liars.
So we, again, said he has to do something or we're outta there. Which isn't true, because we'd never turn our backs on the company or him. And now he's in detox, but we know it's just the beginning, and there will be relapses.
What "I" would hear is,
Thanks for giving me permission to relapse guys, You are my true friends.
Cause that is what you are doing in a way.
If he's using meth? You really don't want to give a meth user something like that,
he will take it and run, and he will end up making you hate him. I can almost guarantee it.
So hard...so damn hard to not be able to help...
Or if he relapses he checks himself into rehab that day, and he better tell you, or you are done.
You aren't dealing with him, Your dealing with drugs.
That's my opinion about meth anyway, I don't know much about coke.
Meth is the devils drug, your life has to be going to hell or you WILL NOT CHANGE.
It's a good drug, until your life is going to hell, until it's killing you and it will, don't give him an easy ride until it does.
JMO...
Welcome to SR!
Last edited by Done_With_It; 10-05-2007 at 10:17 PM.
StrivingToThrive
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 425
everything "Done With It" said!!! I agree, Coke or Meth addiction is bad stuff. Too many people are deceived by the notion that at least Coke is pure. when the addiction is controlling the persons life its all the same.
Also, ESPECIALLY since you are in business together. while he is gone you have time to make sure you are safe from his possible relapse. a couple of days detox is not enough. you have so much on the line and you would be protecting his future also.
ADDICTS LIE. It can't be said enough. The sweetest, most loyal, honest people become liars when faced with losing or getting their drug. but people here have lots of adivce for you and his girlfriend. Its not abandoning people when you refuse to fuel the addiction. Read the Stickys above the posts :What Addicts Do and If you Love Me Let Me Fall.
Also, ESPECIALLY since you are in business together. while he is gone you have time to make sure you are safe from his possible relapse. a couple of days detox is not enough. you have so much on the line and you would be protecting his future also.
ADDICTS LIE. It can't be said enough. The sweetest, most loyal, honest people become liars when faced with losing or getting their drug. but people here have lots of adivce for you and his girlfriend. Its not abandoning people when you refuse to fuel the addiction. Read the Stickys above the posts :What Addicts Do and If you Love Me Let Me Fall.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: homebased
Posts: 408
There are some things you will be able to do for/with your friend...
most things he will need to do himself or it just won't work
one very important thing you should do for yourself is to secure all finances asap...business and personal
please don't think he wouldn't do anything like that....
as DWI said:
you're not dealing with him, you're dealing with drugs and drugs will cause anyone to do anything...including stealing from loved ones
this is a hard road you're about to travel
my prayers for all
most things he will need to do himself or it just won't work
one very important thing you should do for yourself is to secure all finances asap...business and personal
please don't think he wouldn't do anything like that....
as DWI said:
you're not dealing with him, you're dealing with drugs and drugs will cause anyone to do anything...including stealing from loved ones
this is a hard road you're about to travel
my prayers for all
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Jersey
Posts: 229
my AH has said in the past he would never use this or that....
towards the end of his actively using... I am not sure there wasn't anything that he didn't use... he lost his business, friends, and for a period i was gone as well...
i made boundaries... there was no doubt that I would back down from them... if/when he used again he will leave our home with assistance if neccessary...
i made the boundaries VERY clear... that was almost 10 months ago... he has been actively seeking recovery...
keep the business secured... as for the finances, have him turn it all over to you, as his business partner... it is for the best interest of the company, you, and him....
towards the end of his actively using... I am not sure there wasn't anything that he didn't use... he lost his business, friends, and for a period i was gone as well...
i made boundaries... there was no doubt that I would back down from them... if/when he used again he will leave our home with assistance if neccessary...
i made the boundaries VERY clear... that was almost 10 months ago... he has been actively seeking recovery...
keep the business secured... as for the finances, have him turn it all over to you, as his business partner... it is for the best interest of the company, you, and him....
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